Check out the fly outfit the provost gets to wear!
You guys, Penn is in the market for a new provost. And guess what? You can apply!
Check out the job description posted on The Chronicle of Higher Education, which is a proto-craigslist-type website that people with Ph. D.’s use to find jobs. Are you an “eminent, energetic, and judicious academic leader”? Um, you go to Penn and you were probably on student council at some point in your years of school, and that’s good enough for us.
Applications are due February 13, two weeks from today. It will be tough to balance overseeing “the conduct, coordination, and quality of all of Penn’s academic programs” with pledging and midterms, not to mention writing this blog, but think how good “provost” will look on internship resumes–we’re totally applying.
Arts and Letters requirement got you down? Worried about whether or not your business casual slacks will cut it in Fisher Bennett, or even (gasp), the Kelly Writers House? Sell your vintageRetro Ramones Tee to the first angsty tween you pass on Locust Walk. We’ve got shopping to do!
This Sunday, February 1st, R5 Music Productions will be hosting the twice-postponed, bi-annual Punk Rock Flea Market! Held at the Electric Factory (7th and Willow Sts – just below 7th and Spring Garden), the event brings together over 130 vendors, selling old records, clothes, art, music, food, junk, bicycles, posters, furniture, and more.
The $3 admission fee, along with all proceeds, will go towards hosting all-age shows at the First Unitarian Church. Don’t let the name throw you off. There’s something for everyone here, punk rock or otherwise. And if you’re 21, drink and be merry. Maybe you’ll leave with that skateboard you never knew you needed.
This just in: Governor Rod Blagojevich is a governor no more. Even his gorgeous hair couldn’t save him from being the first governor in Illinois history to be impeached (and we’re not exactly talking about a state with a stellar track record). The senators voted him out 59-0, citing his now infamous abuses of power – you might remember his attempt to sell Obama’s U.S. Senate seat, or that time he “threatened to withhold money from a local children’s hospital, unless its executives contributed money to him.” Not only is Rod getting kicked out today, he is forever barred from holding public office again. Well, that’s what you get for skipping out on Monday’s trial to rock the talk show circuit. Don’t feel so bad, Blago – unemployment is so hot right now!
This is actually the most flattering picture we could find.
One of the great tragedies of being born in the late ’80s is that we were all too young to appreciate the glorious cultural flowering that was the 1990s. Oh, times were simpler then – Britney was still jailbait, Clarissa could explain it all, the Olsen twins weighed less than 80 pounds, and if life was ever moving too fast, Zack Morris could freeze the moment with a simple “Time Out!” In these troubled days, there’s nothing like hiding out in your room with the DVDs of Seasons 1 and 2 of Blossom to make it all better. That’s right; that epic television masterpiece is available on Amazon and Netflix. Having trouble remembering why you loved Joey so much? See below for a sweet reminder.
Forget about shootings near campus and other violent crimes; there seemed to be a hazardous situation in Houston Hall just after the lunch rush hour today. The beverage coolers in the back (ya know, right by the candy station) were covered in yellow caution tape.
We know you have lots of questions. Does love actually mean never having to say you’re sorry? Which boy band of brothers is more kickass? Touche or not to Che? Can you get to the Caribbean without leaving the freezing streets of Philadelphia? What’s really going on inside the Penn student’s body? Is “Japas” the new JAP? Which floor of Pottruck is the ultimate spot to see and be seen?
Wonder no more! Pick up today’s issue of Street for all the insight you need to get you through the weekend.
Well, it seems that members of our fair blogosphere are descending upon Penn this week. First Christian Lander, now Nadine Haobsh! Nadine is a personal girl-crush of mine, and will be visiting the Penn Bookstore tomorrow at 2PM to promote her new novel, Beauty Confidential. See below for Nadine’s bio (taken from her site, Jolie Nadine).
Today the crack investigative team at the New York Timesreports on one of the financial crisis’s most tragic consequences: Wall Street girlfriends and wives no longer have carte blanche! Quelle horror! But we think the NYT has failed to explore the collegiate angle of this dilemma: Wharton girlfriends. (See also: gold diggers, TheHos.)
Has your boyfriend gone from Theos baller to one of those sad people that spends all their time playing Food Friendzy on Facebook in the hopes of scoring Campusfood.com discounts? Has he stopped making it rain and started hunting for a work-study job? Oh, honey, let it out! Thursday night’s M.B.A. happy hour used to be a sure bet for meeting well-to-do young men. But now? You might as well stay home and watch Ugly Betty.
Update: Tipster Grace writes in to call our attention to the blog that inspired the article: dabagirls.com. LOL-worthy excerpt: “Dating A Banker Anonymous (DABA) is a safe place where women can come together–free from the scrutiny of feminists–-and share their tearful tales of how the mortgage meltdown has affected their relationships.”
In light of Christian Lander’s visit to Penn this evening, we at UTB HQ thought we might honor him by beating him at his own game. Lander is the founder of the wildly popular blog Stuff White People Like, and he’s currently on a promo tour for his eponymous book. As such, here is our list of Stuff Penn People Like! Fairly self-explanitory
1. Froyo – And we do mean both the item and the abbreviation. Never content to just call it “frozen yogurt,” Penn students are obsessed with this (supposedly) low-fat treat.
2. Pod Takeout – When they aren’t in the mood to see-and-be-seen, Penn students need not worry! They can take a trip down to 36th Street and grab their overpriced Penn Rolls to go! That way, they can eat them in their houses on Beige Block.
3. PDAs – Be it iPhone or Blackberry, Penn students love them some smartphones. If you were enrolled in five classes, active in six extracurriculars, and wanted to go to Smoke’s later, you’d need constant email access too.
4. Themed parties – Far be it from any Penn student to go out dressed normally; they instead opt for trailer trash gear, army garb, ’80s wear… pretty much anything they can put together at American Apparel and Urban Outfitters.
5. Free shit – See our brand-new Swag-O-Meter. Enough said.
Some Penn kids are planning a spooky event at the Rotunda for February’s upcoming Friday the 13th. Think The Craft…goes to college! According to the craigslist ad, they’re looking “for paranormal specialists (i.e. psychics, fortune-tellers, tarot card readers, ghost hunters, voodoo experts, spectral enthusiasts…) and people who have been contacted by the spirit realm.” Psychic mediums, that’s your cue!
Inspired by a post of the same name by a UTB-colleague, I decided to take a photo of this demolished toilet in the men’s washroom of Rosengarten Study Lounge in Van Pelt. I apologize for the semi-awkward angle of the photo, but you try taking a photo in a bathroom without looking like a huge creep.
