We knew it was coming. Signs warning us of this impending doom began to appear at campus registers a few weeks ago. And today reality hits us: seniors, it is the last day we can use the wondrous privilege that is bursar.
We learned about it as mere freshmen; we were told it was a convenient way to charge iPods to our unsuspecting parents. Having it taken away almost thrusts us more into the ugly reality of the real world than graduation will on May 18. Out with the old, in with the new: it’s no coincidence that today high school seniors will learn of their acceptance into Penn.
But there’s still time! Before midnight strikes on this Cinderella function, bursar one last Penn sweatshirt from the bookstore. Or three. Because if there’s one Penn taught us, it’s that we should make the most of every opportunity.
As has happened during Flings past, frats are pulling out all the stops to throw the best downtown parties and get the best musical guests (Milkman much?). Award one point to Beta; they’ve just announced that their Thursday night party will feature Nappy Roots. The Down-South rappers are best known for their singles “Po’ Folks” and “‘Round the Globe,” but we’re also into their recent remix of “Fast Car.” In addition to helping you get down with Nappy Roots, Beta’s event allows you to do some good, too: all the event’s proceeds go to benefit research of F.O.P. (an extremely rare bone disease) at Penn. Check the Facebook event page for all the Nappy info!
File this one under “Random.” We recently discovered that our beloved university has a YouTube channel. In addition to vids about civic engagement – to be expected with Amy Gutmann in Penn’s Oval Office – we uncovered these two gems. Andrea Mitchell and John Legend, two very accomplished Penn grads, both tout their accomplishments and give props to the university that made it all possible. Check out the videos below.
For those of you who don’t plan your schedules around a permanent date with Stephen Colbert at 11:30 each night, you may not be aware that Colbert fans recently stormed a NASA poll about what to name a new area of the international space station, tilting the results decidedly in favor of naming the room for Colbert. NASA balked, claiming the poll wasn’t binding. And now a U.S. Representative has stepped in to back Colbert. And wouldn’t you know it? It’s the congressman for Penn’s district, Chaka Fattah. He would. Fattah sits on the House subcomittee that oversees NASA’s funding. (Hey, we wonder if he rubbed elbows with Colbert when he was on campus during the primaries.) Your tax dollars at work, people! We’ll post the clip from tonight’s show once it’s available.
Before a few weeks ago, we had never seen so much as a free sample cheese plate in FroGro. Then CocoPop rice cakes arrived, and thus began their gradual takeover of the produce/bakery area. And now? It’s CocoPop swag as far as the eye can see. The CocoPop “machine” is even on display, masquerading as a machine that makes things that are legitimately delicious, like popcorn and cotton candy. To that we say: CocoPop, despite your cute name and enticing calorie count (16 per serving…that’s like 11 tic tacs!), you do not deserve such prime FroGro real estate. Move aside and make way for the novelty Easter cakes.
As the video above tells you, Penn’s own Fashion Week begins today. We’ll forgive the over-the-top looks of unhappiness the models have because they did manage to get both Domenico De Sole AND Penn alum Tory Burch to grace our campus this week. Both are impressive catches by themselves, let alone together. And it doesn’t hurt that a third of the audience at Domenico De Sole’s address will probably be wearing Tory Burch flats. Check out the week’s schedule after the jump.
Locust Walk is full of cheesy posters and you keep ignoring invitations to join “Re-Elect That Guy Who You Met That One Time” groups on Facebook: yes, children, student government election season is once again upon us. This year, our friends at the DP have done us the service of putting together video statements for many of the candidates, and we highly recommend that you check the ridiculousness out. Our favorite so far? That would be Rico Moorer, who begins his address with, “Hello cats and kittens of the School of Arts and Sciences…” And you can e-mail him at ricowehaveaproblem@gmail.com! Rico definitely gets our vote for Vice President of Corporate Smoothness.
We were blitzed by a sudden thunderstorm this evening, complete with hail. I watched from a high rise lounge as the clouds bore down on us and the rain started to pour.
Oh no! Our friends at Onward State report that a Penn State student has come down with meningitis, the same disease that aflicted our own campus about a month ago. College is scary, especially if your school has the word “Penn” in its name. Indiana University of Pennsylvania, take this as a warning!
When Saxby’s set up shop last semester, we tried to be open-minded. But we will suffer silently no more — yesterday an unnamed caffeine addict mailed out a letter of complaint addressed to Saxby’s, and she has generously allowed UTB to reprint said letter below.
Dear Saxby’s,
Hello. I am the girl who orders large ice coffees or lattes at your establishment about four times a week. I sit down and study in your restaurant, and I commend you for the services you provide.
Nevertheless, I feel it is my duty as a coffee connoisseur to draw your attention to a few of the challenges I face when I enter Saxby’s, which prohibit me from patronizing you more frequently and increase the likelihood of my taking my business elsewhere (the worldwide conglomerate Starbucks and the new neighborhood gem Cream and Sugar being just a few of my myriad options).
A. I believe your employees should better familiarize themselves with the breeds of coffee you serve. I often encounter inept coffee servers, who accidentally prepare the wrong drink. This is simply unacceptable. I have seen Starbucks employees practicing new drinks on each other — perhaps you should follow suit if you want to keep up with competition. Read the rest of this entry »
We’re less than 24 hours away from Relay for Life, the all-night festival of performances, contests, and junk food that happens to be one of Penn’s biggest fundraisers of the year. As the event draws near, competition among the top fundraising groups is heating up. Current top teams include MARCH for a cure, Circle K and Penn MERT and friends. Competition is even stiffer among individual participants, the top three of whom have already raised over $3,500 apiece. Since we happen to be chilling on a couch watching Grey’s Anatomy with Emily Siegel, the current first place fundraiser (for the time being, at least), we decided to get the scoop on all things Relay, from how to raise thousands to whether anyone actually gets any sleep during the event. (This year, Emily is serving as team leader for Penn MERT and friends.)
UTB: You were last year’s #1 fundraiser and you’re currently in first place again. Are you proud of being #1?
ES: I am. To be honest, but it’s not about numbers. This is my two cents. It’s hard to watch a disease take over people you love, and this is a way that I could fight back along with them. Three years ago when I started, I didn’t know whether I was going to be walking in honor of my family member or in memory of him. I’m unbelievably lucky that he’s going to be at the event with me this year, celebrating. He’s been there every year, actually. Read the rest of this entry »
FNAR, we must admit that of all the majors at Penn, you’re the one we have a not-so-secret crush on — which is why we’re totally planning on stopping by tonight’s opening reception for this year’s thesis exhibition. The reception will take place at Charles Addams Fine Arts Gallery from 5 to 7 p.m., perfectly timed for swinging by after a long day of class (and still making it to the Street writers’ meeting, if you’re so inclined). It’s open to the public and refreshments will be served. Now where did we leave that pretentious beret we wanted to wear…
We knew it was coming. Signs warning us of this impending doom began to appear at campus registers a few weeks ago. And today reality hits us: seniors, it is the last day we can use the wondrous privilege that is bursar.
As has happened during Flings past, frats are pulling out all the stops to throw the best downtown parties and get the best musical guests (
For those of you who don’t plan your schedules around a permanent date with Stephen Colbert at 11:30 each night, you may not be aware that Colbert fans recently stormed a NASA poll about what to name a new area of the international space station, tilting the results decidedly in favor of naming the room for Colbert. NASA balked, claiming the poll wasn’t binding. And now 
Before a few weeks ago, we had never seen so much as a free sample cheese plate in FroGro. Then CocoPop rice cakes arrived, and thus began their gradual takeover of the produce/bakery area. And now? It’s 
Oh no! Our friends at Onward State 
When Saxby’s set up shop last semester, we tried to be open-minded. But we will suffer silently no more — yesterday an unnamed caffeine addict mailed out a letter of complaint addressed to Saxby’s, and she has generously allowed UTB to reprint said letter below.
We’re less than 24 hours away from 
