You might wonder how it is that we spend our time over at the Street offices. The truth is, we aren’t really the responsible types. Instead of hours devoted to writerly things, we… procrastinate. We hula-hoop, we drink Diet Dr. Pepper and we ponder the meaning of existence. For example, does one’s reflection truly disappear if one can no longer access it? What exactly does Lady Gaga wear to bed? Or the tried and true classic, what color would your rhombus be?
Well, while “researching” for this week’s Lowbrow feature (teaser alert!) our investigative reporting brought us to the epitome of lonely heartitude: the missed connections. And, guess what we found… love that never got a chance, on our very own campus, with some of our very own Penn students!
Yes, Penn kids too have those moments of regret. So, After scouring the online resource of desolate souls in search of the truly desperate and the utterly hopeless, we’ve found those Pennsters just looking for love. Since we don’t think Craigslist is the ideal dating venue, we posted their heartache here.
“Perhaps your Jewish respect for my et entrements will extend to my tart tatines and I’ll let you show me your little rugalech. Au revoir, ma jewy.”
Define “through the button” then get back to us.
Poetry as a means of conveying emotion? Genius!
Say it with us: grammar, syntax. Both wonderful things.
Not so much a desperate weirdo, as a creepy stalker. Carry on!
Make sure you check out tomorrow’s issue of Street to see how Lowbrow fared in the wilderness of the Craigslist classifieds!
(Photo illustration by Charlotte Borgen)