And today, in Reasons Old People Shouldn’t Write Articles About College: let’s talk about this Philly mag blog post entitled “Can Penn Students Have Fun?” In an utterly useless and out-of-touch attack on Penn, Sandy Hingston rants on and on about Penn students’ low attendance at football games and tailgates. Ohhh, Sandy, allow us to explain.
Pity those poor Penn kids. Even when you hand them fun on a skewer, they’re clueless. They have their noses stuck too far inside anatomy and political science textbooks to do what college students are supposed to do, which is get out to Franklin Field and root, root, root for a home team that started the season ranked 23rd in the nation in its division and only lost to number-one-ranked Villanova in a last-minute squeaker.
After the tailgate, we went home to pass out and nap, not to study in the library. Also, college students are not universally “supposed” to “root, root, root for a home team,” no matter how good the team is. College students are universally supposed to get drunk off a keg, dress up for Halloween, sing to Journey songs at the bar, and generally make mistakes, but football is not part of the equation at most schools.
Penn planned to extend the bait to t-shirts and Penn Football cups for those who actually pass through the Franklin Field gates to the games.
Free food and free shirts and free cups? Better known as every event or meeting on Penn’s campus.
Hingston goes on to rant about how lame it is that Penn students don’t want to throw toast on the field anymore. Wastefulness is apparently in style! Ugh. Sure, it’s a tradition, but it’s a tradition rooted from the fact that booze is banned in the stadium.
We hate to join in on the resounding “we’re the party Ivy!” cries (which you’ll find in the post’s comments), but when things just simply aren’t true, we’re going to sound off. Call us jaded, call us bookish, hate on us all you want, but please, oh please, don’t tell us we don’t enjoy fun.