March is well upon us, and while for many this means the start of March Madness season, for others it’s a time to pretend to be a fan of basketball and pick your favorite team based on uniform colors. But we can all agree that we shouldn’t restrict this competitive spirit to college basketball, and, well, brackets are pretty fun. Presenting: Penn Madness! We’ve made a bracket featuring our favorite (and smelliest?) Penn celebs and hotspots, and winners will be chosen based on the results of your votes in polls that will appear throughout the week. Get it? Awesome. Check out the contestants team predictions after the jump!
Categories and Team Descriptions:
Restaurant We’re Most Hype For
TBowl: The successor to Taglio, TBowl will feature Asian food and hopefully not always be empty and close ridiculously early.
Sweetgreen: Another fast casual restaurant, Sweetgreen actually seems really good! Like Saladworks, but with more selection and better salads.
Prediction: Even though we’re excited for ORGANIC TEAS, RICE BOWLS and BUBBLE TEA!!!, Sweetgreen sounds like something University City has been missing for a long time.
Penn Bookstore Apparel
Penn Rainboots: Someone made these–
Acid-wash jeggings: Remember these? Pros: fashionable, cheap, stretchy. Cons: Muffin tops.
Prediction: We’re all for jeggings, but the acid-wash look isn’t really doing anything for us. LET IT RAIN, Y’ALL: We pick the rainboots.
Prediction: Amy Gutmann. What’d you expect?
Pod: Smells like– Fish and pretension.
Gia Pronto: Smells like– A fridge in a frat house where everyone leaves their leftovers.
Prediction: Pod. We can deal with the tuna smell because it’s at least somewhat appetizing.
Prediction: Hey, King Kabob, have you met Magic Carpet and Hummus? Tyson is definitely the stronger contender, even if you have to walk all the over to Franklin Field to get some grub.
New Study Spot
Joe’s: It’s in Steiny-D (Close!) and it has big windows (Nice!) and the food is decent (Eh!).
The Late Night: This vending-machine mecca is located in the basement of Commons.
Prediction: As previously stated, the Late Night is located in the basement of Commons. Joe’s wins by default.
Prediction: Hoodie. He was on Jake and Amir! COME ON!
Best Sign of End Times
2012 apocalyptic caravan: Big truck? Check. Awesome decal? Check. Incomprehensible capitalization of half of the words on said decal? Check.
Disappearance of the Button: We’ve been holding a candlelight vigil by our beloved icon since before break.
Prediction: The Button’s disappearance! Come back to us, baby!