UTB GIVEAWAY: A Winner Is Born

After receiving a slew of contest submissions in all shapes and sizes (most of them in the wee hours before the deadline), we’ve spent all day deliberating and reveling in all this power, but we’ve finally landed on a winner. So, without further ado, the pair of Fling floor passes goes to……

ALEX HOSENBALL!

We really loved Alex’s parody of the LCD Soundsystem song “New York I Love You,” which he aptly titled “UPenn I Love You.” It made us laugh. It made us cry. It explicitly mentioned how awesome we are (but that’s not why we chose it). Have a listen here: UPenn I Love You

Sadly we can’t give tickets out to everyone we like, but we do want to recognize a couple more submissions that were especially creative. Check out the Honorable Mentions after the jump.

1. ALISON FEDER

We can’t prove this, but we’re pretty sure this comic is based on a true story. Now we can finally put to rest the mystery of the broken button.

2. MICHAEL SCOGNAMIGLIO

It was only a matter of time before somebody made the connection between Spring Fling and the Beat poets. Also, the 50-piece McNugget reference is obviously close to our hearts. We would totally snap for this poem.

Howl By Allen Flingsberg with Epilogue from Kerouac’s On the Walk

I

I saw the clutch-est fratstars of my generation destroyed by
            Ratatat, munchies hysterical free-ballin’,
Dragging themselves down 40^th and Walnut at dusk
            Looking for a Chipotle burrito bowl,
Pajama-clad junkies air-guitaring for an ancient hedonistic connection from the
            long Porta-Potty line at Ultra.
With Pandora and Marley poster, red-eyed and high sat up smoking in the
            supernatural lava-lamplight of hot-water frat floating across the tops of plush beanbag contemplating electric guitars.

III

Flo Rida! I’m not with you in Florida
            Where you’re tanner than I am
I’m not with you in Florida
            Where you must feel repetitive
I’m not with you in Florida,
            Where no one really wears boots with fur

Flo Rida! I am with you at UPenn
            Where “Elevator” lyrics hit too close to home for the High Rise residents:
                        “First floor, stuck on the gold digger. Second floor, stuck on the dime piece.                         Third floor, stuck on the hood rat. Fourth floor, freak it I don’t know.”
I am with you in Pennsylvania
            Though I understand Pencil Vain-Yah or Phil the DeltaPhi has less cred
I am with you in Fling
            Counting down Five, Four, Three, Two, One.

Epilogue by Jack Kerouac’s On the Walk

I shambled after Lupe Fiasco, Ratatat, and Flo Rida as I’ve been doing all my life after artists who interest me, because the only artists for me are the rad ones, the ones in the background as I shotgun Natties, pound 50-piece nuggets, or craft the perfect bracket, desirous of every Fling at the same time, the ones who never play acoustic or say a bummer lyric, but burn, burn, burn like a bigass beach bonfire exploding like firecrakers on a pledge’s ass and in the middle you see Lupe Fiasco and everybody goes “the show goes on!”