Fall Fest is going down today! From 2 until 9 p.m., Houston’s Hall of Flags will be transformed into a rave of music, free food and disgruntled and hungover students who begrudgingly signed up to volunteer at a booth for a few hours. If you haven’t heard, the staples of Penn’s music scene (Are they staples? Maybe? What do these musicians say about us as a school?) will be there, including Rossman, Slow Dance Chubby and Star Falcon. And then DJ Sega and HOLY FUCK are going to play on College Green, starting a 7! Let’s not forget that Fall Fest is also a chance to get acquainted with some of Penn’s student groups. But let’s be real– some are clearly better others, so that’s why we’ve created this guide to the best and worst of Fall Fest 2011. To the booths!
Chemistry Society: The Chem Society will be making liquid nitrogen ice cream! See, guys, science is sexy. And yummy! You go, Chem Society!
Penn Mock Trial: “Free games…raffles…” …Boring! But wait, did we mention that the winner of the raffle gets a free course? A free LSAT course? Oh, Mock Trial, you’re so hot right now! This is the part where we make a horrendous “Bang my gavel” joke.
Penn Illusionist: Penn Illusionist demands to be taken seriously, so they’re putting on a juggling and magic show with tons of
Philomathean Society: It’s just not a Penn event until Philo shows up! Party at Philo’s booth! And by party, we mean “silly hats, constant reading of Gatsby, cakes, and Philo joviality,” which we can only interpret as “joviality at your expense.” Also, stop wagging your Oxford commas at our faces.
Sparks Dance Company: Sparks has struck up a great deal with you, the undergraduate body of Penn. For the low, low price of counting EVERY SINGLE JELLY BEAN IN A JAR FILLED WITH JELLY BEANS, you can win two tickets to their fall show. What a catch!
Sigma Psi Zeta: SPZ (Is that what people call it? Or is it Siggy-Zates? We’re not “hip” “to” “your” “lingo.”) will have bubble tea! Oh, wait, but you have to pay for it. Thanks, PSZ. Thanks so much. We really can’t wait to spend some of our hard-earned cash on your gummy tapioca-ball-studded cloyingly sweet sugar-water when when there’s so much free stuff at Fall Fest.