New Names for Penn
Maybe you’ve heard that there’s a mass movement couple of people circulating a petition to change Penn’s name in light of the Penn State scandal and, we guess, our general feeling of inferiority from such a plain name. But you probably haven’t heard the naming alternatives being whispered in only the most powerful of circles. Here’s our exclusive scoop on the shortlist of Penns that could be (yeah, we absolutely made these up).
- Huntsman University
- University City University
- THEOP: The Old Penn
- #notpennstate University
- Harvard
- As one commenter wrote, “PENNterest. If it’s gonna be mistaken anyway, side with 2,000% growth! ” (But seriously, when is our Pinterest invite gonna come through)
- The “Jewniversity of Pennsylgaysia!” Have you guys heard that one???
If you have any of your own suggestions, do share.
Tags: Features, colleges, naming, new names, not penn state, Penn
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By Duh on December 2, 2011 at 1:48 pm
The University formerly known as Pennsylvania
And then you’d have to change the school song. Hurrah-hurrah-Penn-syl-va-niii-a no more. Do you really want that?! Do you?!?!
How about its original name? The Academy of Philadelphia.
No way! Why should I change? He’s the one who sucks.
Ryan H. had the amazing idea of renaming it Penn Franklin University. No need to get new apparel/logos, more unique, and a great pun.
No offense, but Penn Franklin University won’t work. Do we call it Penn? Franklin U? What about the existing Franklin U? It’ll just recreate the situation we have with Penn State but with a different (worse) university.
Penn FU.
You all might want to rethink your arrogant “untouchable” attitudes. Penn State is not the only school who has dealt or is dealing with this kind of scandal. You might want to hold back before you ride off Penn as being so perfect. No, maybe children haven’t been involved, but sexual harassment and the like has and is occurring here. Trust me, I’ve seen it. Just because we’re this “great” Ivy League institution does not mean we are immune to something like this. Maybe some of you can try and stop gloating for two seconds and empathize with someone someday. Try it, I dare you.
I’ve heard of Jewniversity of Pennsylasia
It’s called a joke, maybe you should try one someday, I dare you.
but really, the school is never going to change it’s name and it shouldn’t have to or feel the need to.