Penn MadnessMarch 22, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Penn Does March Madness, Volume II

March Madness, that college basketball brouhaha, is all the rage out there in the real world. Inside the Penn Bubble, however, the gods and goddesses have spoken, and Penn Madness is upon us. Yes, it’s back. Round Two.

Here’s how it works: we’ve made a bracket featuring Penn’s latest and (arguably) greatest people, places and things, and you get to vote on their fights to the death– the winner being crowned as Champion of This Little Part of the Internet. Over the course of the next few days, your votes will determine the winners who will go on to compete against new competitors before the champion is determined. See, it’s like March Madness, but without having to pretend you care about basketball. Sound easy? Neat. Take a look at the competitors below and check back later today to vote in Round 1!

Categories and Team Descriptions:

Bar No One Ever Goes To Ever
Crave: The Crave is the Rave’s new bar. Stop trying to make Crave happen. It’s not going to happen.
Atlantis: You can doggy bag your Blooming Onion from the nearby Chili’s. (Note: Fried onion fritters are not legal tender for Atlantis performers.)

Prediction: Atlantis is below Chili’s. ATLANTIS IS BELOW CHILI’S!

Repurposed Pop Culture Promotional Video
Masala:
5/5
Dhamaka: Two thumbs up.

Prediction: Obama likes Masala. So…

Marginally Useful GRASP Lab Robots
Quadrotor:
It makes music! It has a heart!
Poop Scoop: What are you trying to prove, Poop Scoop?

Prediction: Quadrotors. Swoon.

New Campus Boutiques 
Bonded:
Scary window display.
Piper: Stupid window display.

Prediction: Bonded. We like the name more. Not that it’s good.

Ideal Fling Performer
Kelly Clarkson:
Did you hear? She’s coming. 
Tiësto: Not coming.

Prediction: SOME PEOPLE WAIT A LIFETIME FOR A MOMENT LIKE THIS.

Questionable Penn Musical Talent
Upper West
“I look around and I’m slipping in like banana peels.”
Young Lou: “Staying up late, midnight munchies/Don’t forget about the morning, don’t fuckin’ judge me.”

Prediction: Young Lou is #1.

Magazine That Exists
Punch Bowl:
This exists?
The Walk: …this exists.

Prediction: The Walk, even though they didn’t invite us to their fratshion party.

Chic Class Board Apparel
CB2013 Sweatshirts:
Tasteful sweatshirts, neato photo shoot.
CB2015 T-shirts: Why would anyone design these to look like FroGro’s logo?!

Prediction: CB2013. #SweatshirtChic2k12Forever

Check back on Under the Button later today (and throughout this week) to vote in the polls. Best of luck to all of our competitors! (Except you, Tiësto. May the best Kelly Clarkson win.)

One Person has left comments on this post


By dumb on March 22, 2012 at 12:53 pm

the dumbest thing i’ve ever seen

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