NewsMarch 27, 2012 at 6:57 pm

UA Candidates Contort Their Bodies For Your Vote

The student government elections are officially under way, and it looks like our two UA presidential candidates are doing just about anything to get your vote. Take note, America. This is what the future of our nation looks like.

Above, we’ve got Dan Bernick doing “the Bernie” with his gang. (Get it? Bernick? Bernie?)

And in the opposite corner, we’ve got Jake Shuster’s take on Tetris, or…Jaketris. (Click on the image above to play.)

How do Dan and Jake plan on making Penn a better place? We honestly have no idea. But no matter what, at least we know both candidates are ready to get downright physical.

12 People have left comments on this post


By PENN BANDO on March 27, 2012 at 6:57 pm

aw man. totally stole this from Yale Bball’s resident asshole, Greg Mangano.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvBm1YrOkxM

By LOL WUT on March 27, 2012 at 6:57 pm

At least Bernick’s video has a little substance. What has Jake’s campaign been about so far? Promises to continue the (failed) efforts of Tyler Ernst, plagiarism, lying about plagiarism, and a gimmicky Tetris game. Jake isn’t running any kind of a substantive campaign whatsoever. If he were to become President, I doubt a game of Tetris featuring himself would impress any administrator.

By Sandra Rubinchik on March 27, 2012 at 6:57 pm

@LOL WUT: I usually don’t comment, but come ON. Over-analyzing which of these two good-natured and humorous campaign stunts is more gimmicky than the other is like trying to figure out which Kardashian sister is the smartest. Just take them for what they are—pure entertainment. If you’re gonna vote for Dan, vote for Dan. But don’t pretend it’s because the above video “[a]t least…has a little substance.”

By C '13 on March 27, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Can we please just ignore them? Maybe the UA will go away if we stop giving them attention.

By @Sandra Rubinchik on March 27, 2012 at 6:57 pm

No need to get yourself in a knot about this Sandra – you’re obviously voting for Jake from the sounds of how you immediately took offense to someone pointing out the truth.

By Sandra Rubinchik on March 27, 2012 at 6:57 pm

You got me. I’m also casting my vote for Khloe, by the way.

By LOL WUT on March 27, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Please, everyone knows Scott Disick is the smartest Kardashian sister.

Oh, and the commentary wasn’t just about the videos- it was about the overall campaign. What other candidate do you know of that stole entire passages and plastered them on his website? If Jake hadn’t had like a billion other fuck ups and scandals, the plagiarism alone would be enough to make him seem unqualified to me.

I honestly think that if Shuster wasn’t friends with the entire staff of UTB, y’all would be having a blast writing about the shit this kid does week after week.

By No Horse In This Race on March 27, 2012 at 6:57 pm

This is inspired. C’mon, if America’s presidential candidates had a dance, I’d consider a lot more.

By Will the real candidate please stand up? on March 27, 2012 at 6:57 pm

WRITE IN FOR ERNEST OWENS FOR A SCANDALOUS YEAR!

By C'mon Guys! on March 27, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Am I the only one putting Santorum as a write-in candidate?

By ugh on March 27, 2012 at 6:57 pm

After reading the comments on UTB, I’m more and more inclined to vote for Jake. Dan supporters come off as insecure, paranoid, and resentful freaks who think everyone’s out to get them. I don’t know any of the editors well enough to make allegations about their friendships, but as an objective outsider, I think UTB gives a perfectly balanced report of the election (one that very few people even care about in actuality), and if anyone should be complaining, it’s the Shuster camp–his latest scandal was openly reported by them and even in this post, his Tetris game is after the jump, whereas Dan’s video is on the home page of the site.

By To Ugh on March 27, 2012 at 6:57 pm

I know both Dan and Jake and i don’t think Dan is encouraging the negativity in any way. Certainly not in the way Jon Monfred has been harassing Dan’s supporters on the comments sections of UTB and DP articles.

I also think that a lot of people are voting for Dan who are not pro-Dan. They’re more anti-Jake. And I think they’re the ones who come off as upset to you. As negative as the comments may seem to you, Jake has made quite a few enemies on this campus so it’s understandable even if it’s not likable.

You yourself say that his “latest” scandal was on UTB. That’s part of the problem. Every time Jake involves himself in a scandal, there is controversy. Every time there is controversy, there are opposite sides. And, when there are opposite sides being made publicly, feelings get hurt and enemies get made. I think the UA needs someone who is not embroiled in scandal to lead it.

As for the allegation about being friends with the UTB staff, I’ll let you consider this on your own: UTB refused to report on the hazing scandal until after the UA was found guilty and even then, their “post” was a single sentence long. When it came to his plagiarism scandal, Ivy Gate had already blogged about it so it wouldn’t have made sense for them to refuse to cover it- and when they did blog about it, they stressed Jake’s response to IvyGate not the IvyGate post itself.

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