Everybody’s HAD IT with those kids who email an entire class listserv three days before a midterm begging someone, anyone, to send them the entire semester’s worth of notes because their computer “mysteriously crashed” or they “missed class.” Nobody has fallen for it. Ever. And carelessly losing your laptop in Mexico during Spring Break isn’t likely to garner any sympathy, but the email below sent to one HIST431 class may be the most enticing plea ever:
Dear frienemies and people I have never met,
I come to you all in a time of great need, dare I say great peril. I returned on Friday from Puerto Vallarta minus one shiny new Macbook, with which I had embarked. Is it currently in the hands of Mexican Banditos, using its awesome computing power to gain control of the cocaine trade, or was it taken by the lady who cleaned my villa? The answer: I may never know. What I do know is that this sexy box of titanium and plastic has all of my notes for this class contained within. As it has been said the files were “Inside the Computer”(Zoolander, Min 97: Paramount Studios). I am asking one of you now to take mercy on my soul and agree to barter for a copy of your computer notes. Money, a night with a beautiful woman, or even a friendly smile I cannot offer you. But what I will offer is several pitchers of beer(mixed drinks for ladies trying to watch their figure) at Smokes. With the exam three days from now I can assure you that the exchange rate of Pitcher/Note is at an all time high. This offer only applies to those who can provide evidence suggesting they are over 21. Email me if you in any way feel bad for me.
Please do not email me pointing out grammatical mistakes in this email, Im confident there are many,
Not to beseech anyone in this class to take action or anything, but this kid deserves ALL OF THE NOTES.
Update: Our friend not only got those notes, but over a dozen offers of notes poured in to his inbox! Right on.