Fashion Police, Vol. 1: The Salmon Shorts
Friends, we’ve got a serious fashion problem at this school. Oh shush, we’re not talking about the Walk this time! We’re talking about those demonic Nantucket Red leg-creepers, the Lilly Pulitzers for men: salmon shorts. Yeah, you know, those garments that make you look like mommy dressed you for Big Boy Day at the country club? Them. As a thing’s not a “thing” until there’s a Tumblr for it, now there’s a Penn blog for this bizarre phenomenon. So, here you go. It calls itself an “observational sociological study into [a] conscious fashion choice.” We call it a unnvering look at J. Crew’s fugliest bumper crop. Just don’t wear them any longer, ok? Good.
Tags: News, don't wear this, j. crew, salmon shorts, ugly, why?
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By Chadwick DuPontification on September 14, 2012 at 8:53 am
IBUS those be fightin wordz
I bet he has great abs though.
We learn one important thing from this Tumblr: Boys think blue looks good with weathered red.
When he ain’t rippin twine he’s sailing to Nantucket!!
We learn a second important thing: Our observational sociologist is likely a Lower-Quad-dwelling Whartonite. Keep your eyes and ears peeled, boys.
UTB giving fashion advice now? Last time I saw Ian Bussard he was wearing jorts. I’ll let you all ponder that one.
Also, please don’t wear Nantucket reds if you can’t even find Nantucket on a map.
Also, don’t start a Tumblr about Nantucket reds when you don’t even realize that is what they are called.
Its a Nantucket thing, You wouldn’t get it. And stay off our island:)
Yes it too early to call him BMOC?
Lay off the insults on this guy; we’re gym buddies and this is one of the most finely sculpted men at Penn. He has some mean quads underneath those salmon shorts, not to mention the loveliest set of pecs I’ve ever seen on a 5’8″ Asian boy. And his glutes are exquisite. After he finishes a set, I like to give them a nice, hard slap. I feel privileged to be able to slap those buns. He likes the feeling of submission, though.
Silly Sartorialist, jorts are timeless! Sadly, Vera Bradley bags, sorority snapbacks and Hunter boots are not.
No one loves you.
this is, at its most fundamental level, terrible discrimination. for a guy who is discriminated against for his own choices and actions (ignoring the jorts comments), i would have expected more sensitivity and tact. but what’s worse is the fact that you choose a specific individual to photograph (without their permission as well). this is public humiliation for an individual choice, and such discrimination will affect every person who has ever worn that piece of clothing. please understand the hypocrisy in a your openly assailing such an action.
dese shorts go hard yo swag
these are perfectly fine. way better than cargo shorts for one thing, and penn students way waaaaaay worse clothing items, for another.
Playin’ ruit? he rains buckets.
Ian, this is brilliant! Even better is that you referred to them as salmon shorts because that is what they are to the 99% who can’t afford a house on Nantucket or shop at jcrew enough to become familiar enough with their color names.
jorts r 4 lyfe