A Receiving Hairline

Some good news for our balding brethren! As reported by GQ, a new study headed by Dr Albert Mannes of Wharton, who bares a shiny head himself (shocking), has concluded that bald men are seen as more dominant, masculine, and leader-y than their fuzzy headed counterparts. How pacifying. That’s one way to “cover up” premature hair loss. More like that’s one way to get rid of that Penn hat collection you hoarded in the ’90s.

What about women? We can’t help but imagine how much Amy G’s performance would increase if she shaved off those shiny locks. Talk about morbid.