Tired of the DP not covering the news you want to read about? Unhappy with 34th Street gossip or UTB tips? If so, look no further than The Dirty Pennsylvanian, an independent student news organization founded roughly 12 hours ago by a group of students with too much time on their hands. With a whopping total of 24 followers (!!!), the new DP is here to answer your burning questions about student life and events on campus. Here a few examples:
Wharton Students Hold For-Profit Thanksgiving Soup Kitchen
Student That Eats Chipotle Every Day Confused by Weight Gain
Amy Guttman Sex Tape Leaked. “Yeah, I Seen it.” Reports Bro.
So if you’d rather have your news in 140 characters or less, go ahead and become the new DP’s 25th follower! We here at the real DP won’t be mad. Honest! It’s not personal. Seriously, it’s totally fine. Just, hold on, we’ll be right back…we…MOMMYYYY!