NewsDecember 13, 2012 at 10:00 am

Café Cláve’s Owner Went Cray, So…

It’s closing! According to this report, the Cuban-themed 43rd street coffee shop will “close permanently” after being out of commission for the past few days. Apparently  the owner, kindly nicknamed “Gooch” (oh?), is facing a slew of criminal charges that include assault, possession of a weapon, ethnic intimidation and – wait for it – TERRORISTIC THREATS. The police are clearly going Carrie Mathison on Gooch’s ass (no pun intended), and for this we are thankful. School is hard enough. We already worry whether or not the Metro barista slips milk into our coffee (“We’re lactose intolerant!”), so any major terrorism could put us over the edge.

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By Tex on December 13, 2012 at 10:00 am

I guess if you get angry at a pig you’re a terrorist now… -_-

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