Chasing AmyNovember 19, 2013 at 11:25 am

19 Things We Wish Amy Gutmann Would Say

6927877792_ee1e5d8ea2_mOn November 19th, we take the time reflect on the precious moments we have in the presence of the goddess in the fiery red pantsuit. Sadly, these snippets of conversation are all too fleeting; we just never get to have the conversation we really need want. Here’s what she would say if our wildest dreams came true. We would begin the list with “I Love You,” but we don’t want to be creepy. (All starred items are accompanied by a wink.)

1)   It’s your time to shine.
2)   Jennifer Lawrence is my daughter.
3)   The Spirit of Compromise is all about give and take.*
4)   I was the first person Raven came out to.
5)   Got a professor that needs firing?
6)   Could I get a picture with you? I’ve been wanting one since you arrived.
7)   Go on, feel my hair.*
8)   Let’s Make History tonight.*
9)   All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If U Seek Amy.
10) You have an interview? Feel free to go through my closet.
11) I looked just like you at your age.
12) What do you want your GPA to be?
13) Your tuition is related to my annual Sephora budget. Luckily I don’t wrinkle.*
14) Just endorsed you on LinkedIn.
15) You’re telling me OMG doesn’t stand for Oh My Gutmann?
16) Add me on Snapchat. It’s @queenG.
17) I’m the Fling headliner this year.
18) Be my +1 for my birthday party?
19)  I’m a Samantha.*

2 People have left comments on this post

By womp womp on November 19, 2013 at 11:25 am

20) I’m finally quitting and letting someone competent run Penn!

By Amy Gutmann on November 19, 2013 at 11:25 am

@Womp Womp… I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over my 100% approval rating.

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