My GOODNESS, dost thou feel that blood in thine loins, for it is the Day of Saint Valentine?! We at UTB are pretty confident you all will get some tonight. You’ve just got that quality that drives them wild. But in case you need a little extra assistance to rise to the task, here are some well-known aphrodisiacs and where on campus to procure them.

AphroD: Oysters

Penn Retailer: Doc Magrogan’s. A sexy place where sexy people digest this divine shellfish, hoping for  pearls and subsequent pearl necklaces

AphroD: Chili Peppers

Penn Retailer: Mad Mex, where we can recommend the enchiladas. But if you forgot about Valentine’s day and forgot to make reservations, there’s another option! Take your angry lady to Jimmy John’s and ask for extra hot peppers on her Unwich! She’ll get so flushed and lusty that she’ll forget you’re a worthless asshole, and maybe even put out if you grab some jalapeño chips for the road.

AphroD: Pomegranate

Penn Retailer: Fro Gro. This one goes out to all the semites, who have known this food’s mystical kabbalistic (and sexual) powers since they were little nudniks.

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We get it: if you’re going to trudge through the same campus coffee shops and eateries day in and day out, you want the most bang for your buck. To help you with that goal, we’ve rounded up all the punchcards in our area to help make you a more efficient eater, drinker and nosher. Have any that we’ve missed? Do share!

Auntie Annies: Buy six pretzels, pretzel sticks or pretzel dogs and get the seventh free!
Insider tip: Use one of the many coupons they hand out around campus to make those six pretzels cost more like five or four.

Café Prima (in Harrison College House): Purchase nine cafe drinks or DVD rentals, get the 10th free.
Insider tip: Be sure to remember to punch for DVD rentals; they’re cheaper than drinks!

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You’ll see in today’s DP that a new building is coming to the Biopond area of campus, (oddly?) described as the “Huntsman Hall for life-science students.” It’s basically any and all “Living World” requirements in one place, housing the good Psychology, BBB and biology stuff. It makes us think: what other campus lifestyles do we wish could just be in one place?

• The “Huntsman Hall” of Relaxation: A new de-stress center featuring haircuts from Adolph Biecker (no more schlepping to 34th), Kiwi fro-yo and the Bursar-able massages from Pottruck.
• The “Huntsman Hall” of Munchies: McDonald’s, Wawa and Allegro. Location: inside of Smoke’s. We’ll make it work.
• The “Huntsman Hall” of Downtowns: G lounge, Level and Palmer Social all in one convenient building on Beige Block. Never have to worry about leaving a coat behind again! Unfortunately, the Roxxxy will still be a million miles away.
• The “Huntsman Hall” of Huntsman Hall: Featuring Brooks Brothers, the OCR Suite and Occupy Philly all in one happy room.

Every year, Street does a little thing called the Best of Penn. It’s simple, really: There’s a survey. You have opinions. You vote. We count your votes. And then we print your votes, along with words and pretty things in the April 1st issue of the magazine.

Whether it’s Penn’s technological failures, music venues, fro-yo, or places to secret poop, as students you know this campus best. Here’s the chance to have your say.

This is what happens when you google "froyo."

Okay, so fro-yo in Philly might be a little overdone. The frozen fad created knockoff Pinkberrys all over the place, even right here on campus with Sprinkles Kiwi SprinKiwi. But our fair city is taking it up a notch and, according to this article, finally getting a REAL Pinkberry! No word yet on where it’ll be– while the PB website has a “swirling soon” map up, we doubt the middle of City Hall is actually where it’s at.

Edit: Okay, so Grub Street says this is all false and Pinkberry hates Philly (or at least that’s what we get from it). So why the swirling map, PB? Why you gotta play us like that?

While we appreciate the effort to ease us into the change, we’re still totally uncomfortable with the fact that Sprinkles is slated to become Kiwi Yogurt soon. True, a fro-yo by any other name is still as tart, but really. What is this, New Zealand?

According to co-owner Matt Mealey, everything else will remain the same. The change was motivated by some drama with other parties, so Sprinkz took the peaceful way and decided to sport a new name for all three stores.

Personally, we’ll be referring to it as SprinKiwi throughout the month to prep ourselves for the impending switch in March. We don’t want this to become the new “Logan-I-mean-Cohen Hall” embarrassment.

When we first caught wind that 1920 Commons was hopping on the fro-yo bandwagon with the new Yo-Reka!, we were stoked. On-campus and bursar-able? Sign us up.

That’s why we were a little taken aback when our favorite sweet treat equation (fro-yo+fun toppings=deliciousness) was seriously abused.

Sure, at first glance it’s a lot like Sprinkles—self-serve, you pay by the ounce, sweet toppings—but the yogurt isn’t frozen. Not cool.

Basically, they’ve poured a few basic flavors of Stoneyfield yogurt into the self-serve display. It’s a DIY-parfait with interesting sounding granola (hempseed, anyone?) that’s barely a step up from the things they serve upstairs at Commons. Our only consolation was that Oikos greek yogurt made it on the menu.

More photos and deets after the jump.

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The ending of a year is always bittersweet, as we think back on those who ascended to the Heavens this calendar cycle. Sure, Michael Jackson and DJ AM died, but so did some of our favorite and least favorite campus institutions. As the year comes to a close, we pay tribute to those we lost in ’09:

Transit
Deceased: April 2009
Cause of Death: All good things must come to an end?
Survived By: Painfully bad fake ID’s, Theos, short black skirts, the eight people in each bathroom stall, Lil’ Wayne anthems.
In Memoriam: We were crushed to hear the most epic of downtown venues was closing up. Transit was the rare friend to all: a trippy rave spot and Spring Fling bonanza locale bundled up into one massive, sweaty dance hall.

Jewish deli breakfasts, sub-par PennDining on Spruce, Scantron sheets and old school fro yo after the jump!

Button love.

Well guys, it has been quite a semester over here at UTB. We’ve kept tabs on elections and squirrels and the Button. We’ve made sure you know about fro-yo and coffee and tacos. We even taught you how to find a little love on this big campus of ours. And we have our fantastic fall UTB editors, Charlotte Borgen and Ben Rosen, to thank for all that and more.

But with the end of classes comes a changing of the guard, so we are pleased to announce Hillary Reinsberg as the first ever UTB Managing Editor. Though currently studying abroad in Berlin, Hillary will be stateside next semester and remain on board as Managing Editor through the entirety of 2010.

Since we, like you, are sadly in official finals mode, we’ll be posting sporadically from now until the 22nd. Keep sending us tips and musings — the more you send us, the more we write, the more you read and the more you can procrastinate. So do it. And check back often.

Olde Schoole

The season has been full of new restaurant openings in the hood: we’ve welcomed new pizza joints, fro-yo spots, and way more. You tryin’ to make us fat, West Philly?

The newest kid on the block, Midatlantic Restaurant & Tap Room, opened yesterday at 3711 Market. The restaurant is brand new, but harkens back to the area’s roots with influences from 18th century Pennsylvania Dutch cookin’. This old school local grub apparently includes items like fried clams and oysters, homemade soft pretzels, pig “wings,” and sausage. We appreciate the reference to Ben Franklin days, but we’re a little alarmed by the somewhat suspect Wednesday $16 hot dog special.