What can you do with a Penn degree? Write your own YouTube series and star in it (Duh). Penn alum Carlin Adelson has done just that—her show “Cuddling with Carlin: The Big Spoon Search” is about, well, searching for the perfect big spoon. Her preferred mode of auditioning potential applicants is holding them close while on camera and asking them tough questions like “How many piano movers are there in New York City?”
Watch her first two episodes and try not to cringe as “Juan: The Latin Lover” crashes and burns by the end of his interview. And rejoice! Because there are cool Penn people doing cool things in the real world, and that’s awesome.
On this finals-eve morning, all the work you didn’t do on the first Reading Day may be stressing you out. But before you let your blood pressure levels climb through the room, close your textbooks and release that highlighter from its death-grip to take a moment to imagine how much worse everything could be. It’s therapeutic, or something.
1. Bundling up and carrying all your shit to the library only to realize you left your charger at home.
2. Finding out that you’ve developed an allergy to caffeine so instead of fueling your all-nighters with Red Bull and coffee you have to resort to setting alarms on your phone every 30 minutes.
3. Having to take a math or science final sans calculator because you forgot it.
UTB has scourged the Internet to bring you the best (or something) reading material on the Internet this week. Your procrastination should be as enriching as the work you should really be doing! Get to clicking.
1. A Comprehensive Catalog of R. Kelly’s Sexual Metaphors
2. Smart Bra Helps Cut Down Stress-Eating
Finals season means you’re hungry or you’re stressed and sometimes you can’t tell the difference.
3. Beards Are Cool On Wall Street
Waiting for this to turn into a 34th Street interactive post.
4. Beyonce Wears Fur To Vegan Restaurant
There is no stopping Beyonce. Just like there is no stopping you.
’Twas the night before finals and all throughout Penn,
There was nobody raging or peeing on Ben.
All the Quakers were studious, cramming their brains,
And feeling that 9th latte surge through their veins.
The textbooks cracked open, the laptops plugged in,
Big Nalgene of water, smaller Nalgene of gin,
There was coughing and sniffling, and vibrating phones,
And from first floor computers some sexual moans.
When all of a sudden, there came such a CRASH,
That it knocked down the towers of coffee-cup trash.
All the students were startled, and rose from their seats,
And x-ed out their PDF downloads of Keats,
And x-ed out of Orgo, Accounting and Stats
Or more realistically, cute pics of cats
And crowded ‘round College Hall, eyes filled with wonder,
To see what had caused such a marvelous thunder.
Every once in a while there comes along something that allows us to believe that our classes are actually relevant (sorry I’m not pre-med Dad). Cue Jason Merrin, a 2013 grad who turned an award winning screenplay from class into an almost movie we actually want to see.
Collaborating with other Penn students, recent grads, and professors (see tags), Merrin filmed Sleepwalkers, a feature length movie about a world that comes to life when we’re asleep. It’s filled with love, intrigue, and the rapid growth of under-eye circles.
But like any good post grad with loans and a fully filmed movie, Merrin needs some money. Check out his Kickstarter page to help fund post-production and make Penn proud.