ShutterButtonApril 17, 2014 at 10:59 am

Caterpillar Rejects Becoming Beautiful Butterfly, Chooses to Die in Hill Cereal Bowl


In case the image isn’t quite clear, THIS IS A CATERPILLAR THAT WAS  FOUND LITERALLY IN THE FOOD AT HILL. It’s been a long time since first grade, but we don’t  remember our teachers saying that a chrysalis is often best constructed from tuna noodle casserole. Will this tasty lil’ larva ever become a beautiful butterfly? Unclear. But all we can do besides never set foot in Hill again for the rest of our lives is hope for the best. Godspeed, insect friend, godspeed.

34th Street MagazineApril 17, 2014 at 9:55 am


04.17issueThis time of year is about being the best. Best in your class, best formal date, best internship, best first warm day outfit. At Street, we always look for the best…so we can share it with you.

This week, we are proud to present this year’s Best of Penn, from the best wax (useful) to the best place to get down, the best use for bursar (it may surprise you) and many more. Share the best part of your day with us on instagram using #bestofpenn and help us make the last few weeks the best they can be.

Do you want more?

Duh, you’re the best of the best. Food and Drink has the best things to eat in Philadelphia, Arts has the best artsy dates for you and your boo. Backpage has  alumni superlatives. Film has the best Penn shoutouts from the small screen. As you craft your finals playlist, check out best and worst lyrics. Ego has an Ego with a lot to say. You’ll want to read this. They also have the worst of Penn, because it’s not all roses. Find your new favorite holiday as Lowbrow combines Passover, Easter and 4/20. The best Round Up always comes after fling.

Come to our final writer’s meeting of the year. It may be the best yet. 6:30 pm @ 4015 Walnut.

FLING2K14April 16, 2014 at 7:20 pm

Worst and Best of Fling Tanks 2k14

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For those of you too drunk to remember, there were a plethora of Fling tanks this year, as always. Some were actually amusing. Some were unpleasantly boring. Some were desperately unclever. We get it, you wanted to stand out, and for better or worse, we noticed you. So accept our awards and comments with honor and pride, or remorse and defeat, we don’t know your life. Firstly…

UTB and 34th Street present: The Best Tanks You Will Ever Wear

Screen Shot 2014-03-24 at 6.33.48 PM Read the rest of this entry »

NewsApril 16, 2014 at 4:12 pm

NYT Declares Penn Super Relevant

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Who needs to be first place in academics or athletics when you can be first place in popularity? A recent article in the New York Times reported that the number of applications to Penn this year rose by 14.4%, the highest of all Ivies. Apps to Dartmouth decreased the most, by 14.2%. While Dean Furda attributes this newfound popularity to greater outreach efforts, we can’t help but think it’s because of the Qdoba on campus. At least this increase in apps explains the unwelcome hordes of naive tour groups invading campus every day.

Free Wawa coffee all day, any size -- in honor of their 50th anniversary. Because Wawa knows we're broke, and Wawa cares.
Featuresand  FLING2K14April 16, 2014 at 9:34 am


Thanks for being as crazy as ever, Flingers, and thanks for sending us the damage. Direct from you to UTB, here’s our annual compilation of all your telecommunicated, intoxicated indecency. As always, let’s relive the rowdy via area code.

The Rules of Feminism
(814): Did u find a boy to have sex with
(513): No :((((( yes but he took my best frieds vieginity…Crossing a line

The Flinglosopher’s Stone(d)
(513): I’ve reached a breaking point in my life I have to not care anymore it’s not any of that I feel free not like I’m going to tear down the world but like I’m gonna rise from the ashes comme un phoenix ya sigh

The Too Real Typo
(435): How many guys in zbt have you hooked up with?
(228): Lox.  Read the rest of this entry »

NewsApril 15, 2014 at 4:52 pm

Tax Day Discounts Are A Thing

It’s raining because the nation is crying that we needa pay The Man. Or your mom does. Or accountant. Even if you’re too ignorant to know it’s Tax Day, certain campus eateries are giving deals to all for this fateful financial occasion. And by eateries, we mean the above Boston Market two meal deal. And for those turned off by the strip club on Chestnut, get over it…or go for McDirty’s Big Macs, which are buy one, get one for 15 cents. There may be more out there. Sounds like it’s time to…make it rain!

FeaturesApril 15, 2014 at 3:29 pm

Your Fling Photos Are In: Reliving Spring Fling 2K14

flingstanleyAs we collectively wallow in this rainy post-Fling Tuesday, we can only hope ya didn’t have to untag too many pictures or explain to your parents why they received a Dominos pizza delivery at 2am on Saturday (It’s a long not even a long story).

Either way, this moody weather gives us the perfect excuse to reflect on what transpired this past weekend, and there’s no better medium to do this than through the contemporary photograph. Without further ado about nothing, here’s our roundup of the Fling photos you sent us, or hashtagged with #flingstagram:





Nothing unites strangers like the 3am drive for calories. Here we observe an eclectic medley of organisms gathering around the oasis that is ol’ McDonald’s.



Read the rest of this entry »

NewsApril 15, 2014 at 1:03 pm

Penn Law Somehow Nominated For Webby

Webby LogoFor the second year in a row, Penn Law’s website has been nominated for a Webby, the “Internet’s highest honor” (which is a real life thing). A Webby is apparently the “leading international award honoring excellence on the Internet” and not what we imagine fans of Charlotte’s Web call themselves.  Last year, Penn Law won the People’s Voice Webby Award in the Law category so basically they are killing it. Even we have to admit, the site it pretty. Look at the colors, the scrolling columns, and the tabs- so many tabs! No wonder why they are the ONLY law school nominated in the Law Category. Penn Law, keep doing you, and if you want to support, vote here.

Chasing AmyApril 15, 2014 at 9:47 am

Chasing Amy: Philly’s CoverGirl

Yaaaaas A-Gut yaaaaas. Take a moment out of your Tuesday to adoringly gaze at Philadelphia magazine’s April 2014 cover girl, Madame President herself. The publication’s “POWER.” issue features its 75 Most Influential, and look who’s front and center! Not that we even noticed the men flanking her with her blonde locks gloriously gleaming. Justice has been served, PhillyMag – but don’t think we’ve forgotten all your past faux pas.