This morning, we were doing our routine check of college newspaper headlines from all across the land when we came across this comic on the front page of the Columbia Spectator. Huh? Maybe Columbia is jealous that we have more fun than them (Fall Fest what up?!? Leap frogging GET AT US.) or maybe it’s just some random anger brought on by the bitter cold and wind of Morningside Heights. Maybe Columbia just needs a big hug.

We’re impressed the artist was able to name-drop Hieronymus Bosch, though referencing someone she read about in Art History doesn’t compensate for the level of drawing skill. And in response to the depiction of a linebacker in a diaper: we won’t be the ones wearing the diapers when we kick your ass in football on Saturday. (It’ll be you guys.)

Who, moi?

Remember when China had that outbreak of bird flu? Yeah, that was fun. Now it’s our turn to have a zoologically-themed flu. Birds ain’t really appropriate for the supersized American population, are they? We needed something more… obese sounding.

Thank god there is a disease called “swine flu.” (It’s unfortunate that there is an outbreak, but you have to admit, the poetic justice is undeniable.) According to the Center for Disease Control’s Twitter — yeah, they’ve got one — there have been 40 confirmed cases. The outbreak primarily in New York, with 28 of the 40 cases being there.

Look’s like the swine flu has the Big Apple in it’s mouth.  But careful, Penn, you know this campus has a penchant for incubating epidemiological disasters…

If you haven’t heard the… steamy gossip, there was a fire in Rodin last night. According to the DP, the fire may not have been accidental.

We’ll admit it: ever since pledging ended, we’ve been a little starved for some brothers in costume. (UTB loves a man in uniform.) Just when we thought it was all over and the only thing to look forward to was summer, a guy in a rabbit suit appeared on Locust Walk. Seems like Skulls is pulling out all the stops for their “Crunk for Crohn’s” party tonight. This guy has been out there since the early morning asking for donations, chasing runners, and dancing to old school hip-hop. The bunny below is breaking it down to “Notorious.”

Looks like Mask & Wig isn’t the only performing arts group up to some crazy tomfoolery. Check out what Quadramics is doing to pimp their show, “A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum.”

News advisory: this year’s crop of Mask & Wiglets have donned their boas.

The Bad Plus and Wendy Lewis

This weekend’s band to see is the Bad Plus. They’ll be playing at Chris’ Jazz Cafe on 1421 Sansom on Friday and Saturday. (Each night has an 8 p.m. and a 10 p.m. set)

If you haven’t heard of the Bad Plus by now, you’re not alone. Allow us to fill you in: Formed in 2000 by Ethan Iverson (piano), David King (drums), and Reid Anderson (bass), TBP is a jazz trio that rocks. Though most of their material is original, they’ve made a name for themselves in the jazz community by making instrumental covers rock tunes as varied as “Smells Like Teen Spirit”, “Life on Mars”, and “Heart of Glass”. They even do “Iron Man”. Their most recent effort is “For All I Care” with vocalist, Wendy Lewis. Unlike your average restaurant or elevator music, this has still got a drive to it, incorporating free jazz mentality with bombastic drumming: a perfect mix of humor, chaos, and beauty.

A vision of the not-so-distant future

Turns out the internet isn’t a series of tubes at all: it’s a nation.

If you check your Facebook right now (if you haven’t already), the good ol’ folks at everyone’s favorite social networking site released the following statement, probably in response to the overwhelmingly negative response to attempted policy changes that tried to steal our souls.

Today we announced new opportunities for users to play a meaningful role in determining the policies governing our site. We released the first proposals subject to these procedures –- The Facebook Principles, a set of values that will guide the development of the service, and Statement of Rights and Responsibilities that governs Facebook’s operations. Users will have the opportunity to review, comment and vote on these documents over the coming weeks and, if they are approved, other future policy changes. We’ve posted the documents in separate groups and invite you to offer comments and suggestions. For more information and links to the two groups, check out the Facebook Blog.

Was there a plumber convention at Penn this weekend?  Below, a sighting we could have done without.