NewsMarch 18, 2013 at 12:55 pm

Put a Ring On It – Quad Edition

photo-8This weekend, Penn alums Daniella Rohr ’10 and Sam Adelsberg ’10 made their love offish with an adorable Quad engagement that made all single girls run to buy tubs of I-hate-my-life ice cream. Adelsberg allegedly proposed in Rohr’s freshman year dorm room, a memento for the couple because they met six years ago during their first year at Penn. He brought her to an open window overlooking the lawn boasting those precious two words: Marry Me?

Based on the ensuing Facebook frenzy and many  Mazel Tovs on Rohr’s wall, we think she said yes. While for most of us, the Quad will always mean drunk one-night-stands, failed date party binge eating and hallcest, these lucky two will always remember the start of their long-term romance. Congratulations!

FeaturesMarch 1, 2013 at 5:06 pm

A Guide for Late Spring Breakers

26072You’re the kid in your hall awkwardly leaving for Spring Break on Sunday – or worse – Monday. Everyone’s got their floaties packed and their flasks ready, yet there you are: working on that final take home midterm, getting excited texts from your parents about Monday’s vegan potluck for your return, or perhaps cursing girls on Facebook who are already in Jamaica in their bikinis.

But fear not! Just think of all the things you can do now that the student body has said buh-bye to campus!

1. Fart in Fisher Fine Arts: Yup. You heard us. No longer must you clench tight lest a wet one bellow! No longer shall the wrath of silence restrict your sphincter! Midterms are over. Let your Fisher flatulence go free.

2. Watch Adult Films in Van Pelt: Ever wondered what people do on those 1980s silver TVs in the basement? Well, they obviously rent a vintage erotica and blast the volume on high.

more after the jump!

Bread Recall! Oy vey! If you've recently bought bread by Bimbo Bakeries from FroGro or the like, make sure to TRASH it ASAP because the product has been recalled! Click here for more details!
NewsFebruary 19, 2013 at 10:36 am

Lil Pop Shop Reopens! (Because You’re Not Cold Enough)

25136_05232012_lilpopshop007fAlas! What all you chilly little lads have been waiting for! The delicious pop shop on 44th has finally reopened its door to us. Now you can walk down Locust peeking outa that Kenny-from-South-Park puffer coat  with popsicle in hand, lips frozen in sweet delight. Stop by after a Tampopo meal or bring some home for those cozy Sundays when you watch Girls and wonder why the hell it’s gotten so bad and why Hannah’s always naked.

NewsFebruary 5, 2013 at 4:35 pm

Slow Dance Chubby Releases EP!

544021_10151226225268727_1054996768_nMusic fans and chronic battle-of-the-bands attendees — listen up! Slow Dance Chubby, the alternative rock band composed of six awesomely talented Penn students, has just released another EP! The talented crew produced their new EP, Sink Hole, with Raymond Richards, a dude who worked with the Local Natives on their debut LP. Purrtyy cool stuff.

Check their five-song set here on iTunes or look them up in Spotify. But be careful with the latter, though — there are a series of playlists on Spotify titled “Chubby” which we can only imagine you’d listen to while lathering up and caressing a larger lover in the dark.

NewsFebruary 4, 2013 at 10:20 am

Metropolitan Bakery Debuting Spacious New Café!

location-rittenhouse2Finally, SDT galz and hungry APES fellas can gab and gossip at a more spacious Metropolitan location! Metro’s Chef Barrett has decided to open the new Metropolitan Cafe on 264 S. 19th Street.

Brand new menu items will be introduced: savory pot pies (a winter favorite), grain salads (for the phyllo-dough-challenged), warm fennel pretzels with Victory Brewing mustard (we like warm things), homemade root chips (how exotic!) and of course, tangy house pickles (because you’re not a real cafe without pickles).

Doors open this Monday, February 4th. You’ll finally get a chance to sit with your meal and not get stink-eyed for taking your sweet, sweet time while picking at your cranberry loaf.

FeaturesFebruary 3, 2013 at 4:30 pm

How to Impress Your Man: Super Bowl Edition

urlIf you’re like us, you’re really good at curling your hair, slathering on that Mac lipgloss and teetering around in heels. You are kind, nurturing and know how to GET DOWN AND DIRTY. Your one subpar quality when it comes to nailing the other sex: you know nothing about football. Or any sport for that matter. So, we’ve decided to give you a little nudge in the right direction. Here, ladies (and gentz, cuz that’s a thing) – your cheat sheet for how to impress the man in your life when the hot wings come out, the boys gather ’round, and the game comes on.

1. Know who is playing: The 49ers and the Ravens. It’s not hard. Don’t screw up the number or make lighthearted reference to this particular “Raven.” I’m pretty sure only 3% of the room will own up to watching Disney Channel.

2. Serve up a fun fact!: Did you know the two coaches of the opposing teams are actually brothers? Did you know Raven Ray Lewis is playing his last game? Well, now you do. During the hushed silence as the boys ogle over Beyonce’s tush, confidently state one of these convenient facts and you’ll be sure to score a few points.

3. Bring some food: hot wings, pizza, french fries, beer, etc etc. Anything fried, anything that goes well with ranch dressing. But we swear to G – if you dare to bring your grilled chicken cubes and apple to keep with your “diet” – you will lose every single point you may have gained. Nobody wants to watch the SuperBowl with this type hangin’ round.

Check out the rest! (these ones are even better)

NewsJanuary 31, 2013 at 4:37 pm

Meyerson to Welcome New Café

photoMmmmm….can’t get enough of those soggy tuna wraps from Joe’s? Lovin’ those overpriced, mildly warm grapes from Huntsman’s Bridge Cafe? Hankering for some confused yogurt smoothie from Houston? Annoyed that this post is all questions thus far?

Well guess what?!?! Now you can grab all of your favorite on-the-go delights from Meyerson’s Penn Design Cafe, due open in “the week after next,” according to our on-site construction source. After health inspectors come through and make sure the place is spiffy clean, this newest brainchild of 12th Street Catering will start offering all the hits.

NewsJanuary 28, 2013 at 10:15 am

The Cutest Thang You’ll Ever Watch


Stop what you’re doing. Stop it right now. Because UTB has this video, you see, that is probably the coolest and most adorable thing you’ll watch for the next like…couple of months. Introducing My Little Magic Book, the mind-blowing digitized scrapbook made by Penn freshman and emerging artist Julie Adam. The piece has already hit over 12,000 views and we are sure the number will only climb from here. We have an exclusive interview with the artist, so… Read the rest of this entry »

NewsJanuary 14, 2013 at 11:10 am

John Legend Is Coming

JOHN_LEGEND_120John Legend is many things: a sultry performer with irresistibly cute dimples,  a nine-time (!) Grammy-winning artist, a former Penn student, and someone you’d likely want to touch or stalk if you saw him casually eating in a restaurant. BUT he is also an activist and lover of social justice! Does the guy get any dreamier?!

Penn’s Center for Africana Studies will be honoring Legend at their 12th Annual MLK Social Justice Lecture, as well as other scholars and activists of African descent. It’s all going down this Wednesday, so try to keep it together until then. We’ll be there with a few lecture questions…”Aren’t you tight with Jay-Z?! What does Baby Blue Ivy smell like?!”

Where: Irvine Auditorium
When: January 16, this Wednesday
Time: 5:30-8:00PM
Price: FREE!