Featuresand  FLING2K14April 16, 2014 at 9:34 am

TEXTS FROM FLING, VOLUME IV: The Winners

Thanks for being as crazy as ever, Flingers, and thanks for sending us the damage. Direct from you to UTB, here’s our annual compilation of all your telecommunicated, intoxicated indecency. As always, let’s relive the rowdy via area code.

The Rules of Feminism
(814): Did u find a boy to have sex with
(513): No :((((( yes but he took my best frieds vieginity…Crossing a line

The Flinglosopher’s Stone(d)
(513): I’ve reached a breaking point in my life I have to not care anymore it’s not any of that I feel free not like I’m going to tear down the world but like I’m gonna rise from the ashes comme un phoenix ya sigh

The Too Real Typo
(435): How many guys in zbt have you hooked up with?
(228): Lox.  Read the rest of this entry »

NewsApril 15, 2014 at 4:52 pm

Tax Day Discounts Are A Thing

It’s raining because the nation is crying that we needa pay The Man. Or your mom does. Or accountant. Even if you’re too ignorant to know it’s Tax Day, certain campus eateries are giving deals to all for this fateful financial occasion. And by eateries, we mean the above Boston Market two meal deal. And for those turned off by the strip club on Chestnut, get over it…or go for McDirty’s Big Macs, which are buy one, get one for 15 cents. There may be more out there. Sounds like it’s time to…make it rain!

Chasing AmyApril 15, 2014 at 9:47 am

Chasing Amy: Philly’s CoverGirl

Yaaaaas A-Gut yaaaaas. Take a moment out of your Tuesday to adoringly gaze at Philadelphia magazine’s April 2014 cover girl, Madame President herself. The publication’s “POWER.” issue features its 75 Most Influential, and look who’s front and center! Not that we even noticed the men flanking her with her blonde locks gloriously gleaming. Justice has been served, PhillyMag – but don’t think we’ve forgotten all your past faux pas.

Happy Hangover Sunday -- Hope your Flings were arrestless and (un)forgettable. Can we get an amen for the blessing that was that weather?! As you slowly transition back into real people, going through pics as you SABS in the sunshine, remember to enter our #flingstagram contest and to submit your craziest texts by 11:59 p.m. tomorrow night to tips@underthebutton.com! UPDATE: SCREENSHOTTED SNAPCHATS ALSO ELIGIBLE.
ShutterButtonApril 9, 2014 at 4:40 pm

Quaker Days Update: Dean Furda Drops It Like It’s Hot

photo (8)

Remember Penn Preview Days? Those were annoying, faux-chipper, crowded and pre-froshy. The new and improved Quaker Days are all that…and more! While there are still far too many 2018ers on campus for anyone to enjoy, admissions has really upped the ante this year, with fancy azz events, including this soiree – which featured one Dean Furda hitting the dance floor. Sources say Eric breakdanced before posing with swooning fans. Check that smolder. A warm welcome to Penn indeed!

Dude Gets Into All Eight Ivies -- If you haven't heard from the bizarrely extensive media coverage, a kid from Long Island got into Penn and the rest of the Ivy League. This almost certainly happens to someone every year, but now that you're famous, we want you, Kwasi. You choosing dear old Penn may be a stretch, but hit us up when you're here for ~*Quaker Days*~...drinks are on us. XOXO, UTB <3
Carriage Senior Society Applications Close At Midnight -- The app can be found here and is open to LGBTQ and allied Penn juniors.
NewsApril 1, 2014 at 10:05 am

Jigsaw Senior Society: The Prank of a Generation

It’s been the hot topic amongst senior society-crazy juniors since 1,235 members of the Class of 2015 were “tapped” Sunday for the latest clique of campus leaders: Jigsaw.

UTB has kept mum on this little-known society’s validity, knowing it to be a hoax but allowing it to play out. That all stops now. We’ve spoken with the masterminds of the epic April Fools’ trick, who have cancelled tonight’s “smoker” at Wishbone.

Not knowing just how many potential new members they were competing with – half the class – many juniors responded enthusiastically at their selection. The vast majority of the student body is a campus leader, after all.

Yes, nearly 250 students RSVPed that they were attending the event, scheduled for 8 p.m. tonight, complete with a one-minute “share your talent” portion and free chicken. Someone sent a video singing a show tune in lieu of his attendance.

Others were skeptical in their responses, noting the smoker’s date (April 1) and theorizing that Jigsaw was, in fact, fake. Still, as people gossiped, looked for culprits and kept a sliver of hope that they really were joining the newest exclusive coterie, Quakers were in the dark about the truth. Until now.

How were taps chosen? The first 500 juniors (alphabetically by last name) in each school were emailed, with dual-degree students counted only once, leaving the lucky 1,235.

UTB was more than ready to document the Wishbone mob scene, but the pranksters decided to shut down the smoker before too many resume-happy hearts were broken. They provide Under the Button with this exclusive statement, announcing a charitable twist to come out of the hoaxing:

Since we love Wishbone and don’t want to waste any Penn student’s valuable time, we’d like to publicly state that the Jigsaw Senior Society is an April Fools’ hoax. This may have been obvious to a large number of students, but it didn’t stop some 250 from RSVPing. Thanks to everyone who responded and also to the 1235 juniors who received our email. 

The response we got was largely positive, but we apologize if we’ve caused anyone any discomfort. A few students who recognized the hoax suggested that we sell Fling tanks. We’re going to.

If you’d like to buy a Jigsaw fling tank, click this link and fill it out. You’ll only be charged ($20) if we get enough orders to break even, and if we make any profit, it’s going straight to charity. Get your orders in tonight, because we’re placing the order tomorrow.

Happy April Fools’ everyone, and we’re still going to Wishbone, so we hope to see you there.

-Jigsaw

UTB can confirm any profit will be donated, so why not order a Jigsaw Fling tank to add to your collection? The swag is half the reason for joining a club anyway. In this sense, they couldn’t be more legit! Or sceney.

So Happy April Fools’ Day, ya filthy animals. Congrats to the tricksters on perhaps the most epic schoolwide prank in recent memory. And you’re welcome we were there to break the news delicately…before a social shitshow went down at the most hipster fried chicken capital of UCity.

Click the jump for some 100% real Jigsaw email RSVP highlights!

NEC Has Made Their Joyce -- and disqualified Gabe Delaney and Julie Bittar. Because of this, natch. Your new UA Prez and VP are Joyce Kim and Josh Chilcote, and they would've won regardless – but this way, we got a hilarious three hour hearing to live stream! Delaney was also eliminated from the UA SAS rep race. See the UA results here and Class Board winners here.
Penn MadnessMarch 23, 2014 at 3:12 pm

PENN MADNESS, Volume IV: Round 1!

Those of you who sports, we salute you. We hope your DP March Madness bracket is doing splendidly. (Go Duke!) For the rest of us, it’s time for Under the Button’s fourth annual PENN MADNESS. Last year, the grand prize went to that saucy minx, Hurricane Sandy, and this year, with a new crop of weather phenomena, Fling artists and Greek scandals, the competition is stiffer than ever. May the odds be ever in the contestants’ favor – cast your votes in Round 1 now!

The Fling Openers:

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The Acronyms:

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The Greek Scandals:

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The Semi-Snow Days:

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The Legendary Alum Appearances:

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The (Thanks to UTB) Greek Scandals:

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The Fried Poultry Newcomers:

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The Kate Taylor Quandary:

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