It is HEATING UP in this piece. The Meagles are a cold people, but “Parks & Recreation” icon Retta is coming to Penn as SPEC Connaissance’s spring speaker on March 24. She may technically have a last name, but we will not report it, as the queen deservedly appears on “Parks” without one – and was just upgraded to the opening sequence after Rashida and Rob left!
Retta, a Duke alum and onetime chemist, plays Donna Meagle, the most underrated gem of modern television comedies and this post’s author’s favorite human being/Twitter nemesis. (Retta is also notorious for her TV live tweets, and you know UTB will do the same with her appearance in Harrison Auditorium.) Last year, SPEC hosted SNL’s Jason Sudeikis, so we approve of keeping it in the NBC fam...time after time.
FEDERAL DONUTS REALLY OPENING MONDAY
-- After a confusing tweet saga
last time, UTB can officially confirm the Sansom location is coming for us on March 10 (yes, break)! Shout it
from the rooftops.
You may have heard smatterings of gossip this weekend: Penn Band seniors got engaged at Saturday night’s basketball game. As campus collectively gasped in shock, compassion and jealousy, UTB went to work to put the rumors to bed. And…SHE SAID YES! We’ve got the video of a 2012 alum and former Penn Band member asking young Susie to marry him during the game, which we of course lost.
The groom-to-be, we have discovered through investigative journalism, rocks a third nipple, hence his nickname “Pips” (Penn + Nips, brilliant). As for the bride, though she wore a band shirt, Susie doesn’t even go here – but she met Pips while LARPing (really). Congrats, you two!
Yale Drama School may have the flawless Best Supporting Actress winner Lupita Nyong’o as an alumna, but Penn has cause for celebration this post-Oscar Monday. (Maybe not as much cause as Lupita’s brother, though, who got in on the ultimate selfie of all time.)
A big congratulations to Morgan Neville (C’89), director and producer of “20 Feet From Stardom,” the hit film about backup singers that won an Academy Award last night for Best Documentary! His speech was perhaps overshadowed by the legendary Darlene Love, a subject of the movie, slaying an impromptu musical performance, complete with standing-O – but as you can see above, Neville couldn’t be happier. (This went down before John Travolta slayed the iconic Idina Menzel’s name, in a bad way.) Mazel tov, Morg – you join the ranks of our Tony, Emmy and Grammy-winning alumni.
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. Join us as we dissect the red carpet through Best Picture!
Madame President is out in full force this weekend, mingling with the masses on campus as the sun eminating from her perfect blonde locks melts the snow. A source informs us A-Gut made her annual sports appearance last night and was spotted at the Penn-Harvard basketball game (we lost), even playing the xylophone with the Penn Band! Today, she’s rocking a to-die-for jacket while sauntering arm-in-arm with her elusive hubby on Locust, where she was last spotted one year ago. Thank you for gracing us, Amy G – get up when you feel it, it’s your
time chance to shine.
As if Seth Meyers didn’t make us swoon enough, it turns out the soon-to-be Late Night host has a running inside joke with Penn alum and SNL star Vanessa Bayer about Bloomers, her old all-female comedy troupe! Watch this emotional Saturday Night Live cast and crew sendoff to Sethy above, but if you must skip, VB starts babbling about Seth cutting a Bloomers reference from the show at 4:15. Vaness, you’ve got to send us pics of him rocking that tee during final read-through! Pretty cool.
DARY. The Class of 2014 will be serenaded off into the real world with the sweet vocal stylings of the legend himself, one Mr. John Legend! No word on if the Penn alum will deliver a musical address, but we’re sure a spoken speech would be almost as engaging.
Most importantly, this news means the Grammy-winning artist is not holding a vendetta against Amy G after the unfortunate Making History celebration faux pas. You know, the one in which JL was cut off pre-”Ordinary People” due to rain…but the worst catchy song of all time was still performed as the grand finale. Let’s just call Commencement 2k14 Time to Shine Take II.
Everyone would be more than okay with this weekend being a wrap on snow for the winter. Luckily, some brilliant Penn17ers made the most of the stuff before it melted into slush and black ice. Mucho love and kudos to the inhabitants of the Nipple in Fisher Hassenfeld, who crafted this uber-explicit work of art. The visionary Quad frosh helped this snowman and woman get down with their bad selves, complete with kinky props and (real?) glasses.
As a former Nipple dweller, this post’s author salutes his successors’ masterpiece, which is easily the best snow sculpture to hit campus in three years. So proud.
Not eligible for competition; found on Google.
Hey, you groooooooovy kids. Far out, man. Hare krishna. Let the sunshine in. It’s still the age of Aquarius, and SPEC’s token multicolored email is reminding you to enter its Spring Fling Logo Design Contest by Friday. The grand prize offers two equally enticing rewards: two floor passes to the concert (~$90) and “go[ing] down in Penn history” (~priceless).
Is that worth more than $1000 for designing a defibrillator logo? You decide. But for all you graphic-savvy singles working on this contest pre-Valentine’s Day, submit to email@example.com with”(Your Name)’s Design Submission” as the subject.
It’s up to you whether to alter your design based on the fact the original theme “Peace Love and Fling” (sans commas) has been altered in the latest email to the oddly punctuated “Peace Love, Fling.”