Therapy dogs are common on campus amidst finals season, but all them canines are put to shame by the CUTEST little nugget of a puppy, aptly named Lentil, who has become a bit of a viral celebrity. The French bulldog puppy was born with a cleft palate and just turned three months old yesterday (happy b-day, bb).

The 3ish-pound pooch has the most adorable deformity in all of the (internet) land and has developed a cult following on Facebook, even making the leap to BuzzFeed. Mommy’s been feeding him through a tube, but a campaign from adoring fans raised money for his surgery, scheduled for May 28…at PENN VET.

Yep, we’ve landed the most high-profile canine operation in months (Mom blogged the vets “are amazing to worth with“), so if you’re in Philly over the summer, wade through the paparazzi at the Vet School at the end of the month to bring Lentil some treats! And until then, it’s LENTIL FEST this weekend, complete with concerts and an “everything but the fleas” market. Thanks for choosing Penn – WE LOVE YOU LENTIL! <3

Okay, so the weather hasn’t been consistently sundressy, with major yo-yoing between what feels like brisk March and summer…but as we near May (and finals), Penn is looking sexy, no matter the temperature. (Yesterday, we only needed a light jacket. So there’s that.) Your submissions were erotic and exotic, so be prepared to get turned on looking at your snapshots of our stunning campus.

Thanks to photographic visionaries Olivia Rabe, Sophia Ciocca, Matthew Triano, Corey Bassett, Shira Papir, Nicole Woon and Allie Volinsky. Hover over the pictures for enlarged images and photo credz. College Hall and the cherry blossoms were extra on-trend this spring season, and Instagram did not dominate submissions by any means!

If you follow Penn BFF Eva Longoria on Twitter, you know she has been hawking “Ready for Love” – the new NBC reality dating competition she produces – up the wazoo. Unfortunately, the network’s pulled the plug on the matchmaking show after just two lowly-rated episodes.

Why should you care? The cancellation is bad news for contestant Ben Patton, a Penn alum! That’s right, Penn’s triumphant return into the reality dating pool is a short-lived one, as this former economics/systems engineering major will not be finding his soulmate – at least not on national TV. The oddly-structured show featured three bachelors, including unknown Ben and Plain White T’s guitarist Tim Lopez, looking for da one amongst a myriad of bachelorettes. Too bad the happily married Ashlorette‘s off the market, because it looks like Ben’s 15 minutes are up. Maybe he can try to catch the love bug at this year’s Alumni Weekend.

Remember one week ago today? Your hangover was still in full swing, the memories of Fling as gone as they are right now, the Instagrams telling a dark tale of debauchery. Fling has now been officially over for a week, and to commemorate its anniversary (only 355 more days!), UTB proudly presents a compilation of the texts YOU submitted throughout the last seven days. You’ve recovered from last weekend’s mayhem – although a residual high from last night is understandable – and now its time to relive the rowdy via area code.

The Drunchie Heroine
(267): I’m at tap. Audrey is non responsive
(717): I’m coming! Stay!
(267): Ok! By fire pita
(215): Sorry I was having sex.  Save me pita

There are so many more…

If you thought it couldn’t get any worse that “Penn’s Stepping Up” (the heinous Penny Loafers-helmed disaster of a promo video for the Making History campaign), THINK AGAIN. The ridiculous factor has been upped in unimaginable ways with “Time to Shine,” a new single by Sean Altman of a group called “Rockapella,” which is climbing its way to the top of the A-Gut charts.

Filled with such poetic themed lyrics as “a red and blue flame burning with pride” and “Penn’s mighter than the sword,” the song is otherwise a vague pop anthem about spreading the light to enlighten every mind and capturing the future. Kudos on the catchy factor, however, because we cannot get this song out of our heads for the life of us. If the Locust T2S makeover wasn’t enough of an indicator, Team Amy is PROUD of its fundraising success. We have a feeling John Legend and/or Train will rock out to this jam on Friday…and the only cure to all the cringing will be “Drops of Jupiter.”

Believe us, we couldn’t be prouder of Madame President’s fundraising success, surpassing the goal and making over $4.3 billion for Penn’s Making History campaign. And with all the hullabaloo surrounding the Fling concert, many students didn’t attend (or don’t remember) Friday night at Franklin Field. So we’re extra-pumped for John Legend and Train at Penn Park (fo free!) this Friday.

That said…Locust has gotten QUITE the makeover today, and we’re not sure how to feel about its new decked-out Time to Shine look. Our beloved walk feels less like the architecturally stunning main artery of campus, what with its multicolored kites and massive circular signs for each of Penn’s schools. So, is it all just a bit too extravagant?

Don’t even think about taking advantage of VP’s extended study hours and doing work this Fling weekend. However, you have three homework assignments to complete amidst the debauchery:

1. Submit to SHOUTOUTS. Oh-we-oh-we-oh-we-oh.
2. Take pics with FLING STANLEY. Bonus if A-Gut photo-bombs.
3. Tip us your greatest TEXTS FROM FLING.

That’s right, for the third straight Fling, we’ll be compiling your greatest texts from the weekend for an upcoming UTB feature! Send ‘em in to tips@underthebutton.com all weekend! Include yo area code so it looks like this:

(215): Hii hiow far does pennride go out???!! i’m stranded in Viullanova HELP ME IM POOR

Shout ‘em out, shout ‘em out! That’s right, kiddies: trees are blossoming, finals are looming, and flings are getting flung. But perhaps the most important spring tradition of all is upon us: Shoutouts. 34th Street presents your bi-annual opportunity to tell that hot professor, your klepto roommate, and the mouth–breather in your history recitation exactly how you feel. Submit your anonymous messages of love (or hate or lust) to your roomies/enemies/lovers/UTB editors (please?) via shoutouts@34st.com, Street’s website OR that sexy fuchsia tip box to the right — Britney approves.

Two a.m. and she calls me ’cause I’m still awake… Preach, Anna Nalick, because it’s Twitter-official: VP’s main building is open until 2 a.m. all the way through finals, effective immediately. As happy as we are that the exodus to Rosenparty is no longer at the absurdly early hour of midnight, the fact that @upennlib had to tweet something with the words “today” and “finals” is disconcerting.

Where did the time go?! Oh yes, last day of classes in about two weeks, so buckling down to start those final research papers now is not unwise. Who are we kidding? Do your mental health a favor and don’t take advantage of these extended hours until after this weekend. And if we see you in there during Fling, you’re getting MERTed.

After a lengthy delay (which we all know was caused by Justice’s cancellation), SPEC has finally revealed the 2013 Spring Fling headliner, with less than two weeks until the concert. UTB and the DP can now officially confirm that Girl Talk will take the stage this year after Tyga and Janelle Monáe.

For those who don’t know, Girl Talk is a dude, not a female or a band, and specializes in mashups (last album: 2010). Let the disappointed comments commence below!