Ever heard of this guy? No special reason– his hedge-fund SAC Capital just plead guilty to insider trading and is about to pay the largest settlement of its kind in history. Before he became the 35th richest man in the U.S. and a serious contender for the Whartoniest Whartonite in the history of Whartonites, though, Steve was downing Bankers and heading to Shabbat with our very own ZBT because of course he was. Read the rest of this entry »
For all those good little Penn students everywhere setting up their Google calendars for the week: we sift through all those Facebook invites so you don’t have to! Speaking of annoying invitations, you’re welcome.
Today-Friday: PoCo’s Political Action Week
A whole week of politics!
Tuesday: Warby Parker Founder & CEO Speaker Event
You’ll probably be as disappointed as we were to find out his name isn’t actually Warby.
We warned you Under the Button takes on a whole new meaning after dark. A mysterious but hilarious but also mildly terrifying tumblr has cropped up featuring pictures of blow up dolls doing their thing on assorted campus statues, including beloved Ben. A bit of Twitter stalking revealed that the blog is somehow a response to Robert Indiana’s iconic LOVE statue. Arties will be artsy, we guess? More importantly, these dolls are probably getting more than you are tonight.
TODAY: Panhel Presents Dove “Real Woman,” Stacy Nadeau
Listen to one of Dove’s Real Women spokeswomen speak about positive body image!
Wednesday: SPEC Connaissance Presents Matthew Perry
In light of our recent loss of the similarly named campus icon, this event may be coming too soon. If you can make it through the grief, though, doors open at Irvine Auditorium at 7:30pm.
Thursday: Seniors for the Penn Fund Homecoming Bash
Free booze ‘n food. Kenn Kweder will be there, so that’s cool we guess.
Thursday-Saturday: Penn Glee Club & Penn Dance Present Esspresspionage: A Latte of Trouble
Puns: we appreciate them.
Saturday: The Inspiration A Cappella Presents Low Key Suite
Because we know you were thinking, “damn, I’d kill for an a cappella show right now.”
We know you don’t really give a shit about that Intro to Cooking Philosophy Social Impact Initiative Resume Workshop you keep getting invited to on Facebook. Here are some events that seem less painfully boring! (Or at least include the possibility of food).
Wednesday: Engineering Student Activity Council EDAY
You may not be an engineer but you might as well eat their cookies?
Thursday: Exploring Corporate Social Responsibility
Civic House is hosting something about business??!?!! Also there’ll be Hummus.
Thursday through Saturday: Bloomers fall show- The Bad, The Bad, & The Bad
They act! They dance! They sing! They’re girls!
Friday: Jazz & Grooves presents Mount Kimbie/A Sol Mechanic/Dream Safari
Get tickets, head to the Rotunda, trip. Attire is Urban Outfitters chic.
Friday and Saturday: PennYo/Pan Asian Dance Troupe present A LOVE BEFORE TIME
The people on the Facebook event are staring wistfully into the distance and the show title is IN CAPS so it must be good.
Saturday: Fallapalooza at Morris Arboretum
See some trees fo’ free!
In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, Yards Brewing Company and Little Baby’s Ice Cream are hosting A Pynk Affair, a charity event featuring a CONCERT BY A WEEZER TRIBUTE BAND CALLED “FREEZER.” There will be food and other stuff, too, but everything pretty much pales in comparison once you realize that somewhere out there exists a Weezer tribute band called Freezer.
If you’re down to get your 90s alt-rock on, head to Yards Brewery this Friday. Eat some of Little Baby’s new “pynk” ice cream and drink some “pynk ” ale. Wear pynk, live pynk, thynk pynk. Take the whole day to revel in all things pynk. It’s for a great cause! Side note: clearly they used all their clever name-picking skills on Freezer.
It’s official: freshman campaigners are back and no god or Amy Gutmann can save us. This is the time of year we all dread/love, when zealous freshmen take a break from being famous on the class Facebook page and trade in their books for a good name pun (Hope is pretty much name pun gold, so congrats!). It’s like flyer primetime on Locust except even more hilarious. To all those in large intro classes like this photo of ECON001, we salute you.