What's HapPENNingApril 14, 2014 at 11:12 am

What’s HapPENNing?

whats happeningAhh, the sweet smells of Spring and sobriety.

This week has a ton of events that will serve as the perfect cure to your hangovers and matzah-induced stomach-aches.

Ongoing: Spring Green Week: Blind taste tests of organic food, clothing swaps in the Quad, and Quizzo — all with an environmental twist.


PASSOVER!!! Make your grandmother happy and go to the 30 minute seder. Also, I^ am hosting a seder at my house. Shoot me a message if you want to come.


If you haven’t yet overdose on SPEC, join them for an advanced screening of some movie with a topless Zac Efron: “Neighbors” @ 7:30pm @ the Rave


Wharton grad-turned VC dude-turned PA’s maybe future governor: Rob McCord @ 7pm @ JMHH265


Do you like Rabbits? Do you like Holes? Go see Rabbit Hole, presented by the Front Row Theater Company: @ 7:30pm @ Class of ’49 (Houston Hall)


Sororities + Sumo = Alzheimers? We’re confused, too, but it seems like Sammy’s philanthropy event will be a blast! @ 2pm @ 40th and Locust

This week’s award for best event cover photo goes to Onda Latina, performing “The Syndicate.” @ 6pm @ Iron Gate Theater

Off the Beat swears they’ll perform Jason Mraz, and we swear we won’t miss it! @ 6:30pm @ Harrison Auditorium (Penn Museum)

Kudos to EXCELANO for accepting Venmo payments for their show this semester! @ 8pm @ Dunlop (for details on where this place is, check out the event here)

Free Cone Day -- Start camping outside Ben & Jerry's for your FREE scoop of ice cream today starting at 12pm. It ain't froyo, but it sure is free! PS. Is the line too long? Walk to alternate location @ 30th St. Station.
Another Day, Another Flash Poll -- So VOTE VOTE VOTE for the Best Place to Plug In, today's poll in the DP's Best of Penn series.
Lying In Bed? -- So are we! Before you wake up for your 10:30am, remember to VOTE for today's Best of PennToday's Flash Poll is all about which restaurant reigns supreme when it comes to ordering in. Our personal favorite (while lying in bed): the pizza delivery guy.
NewsMarch 26, 2014 at 6:53 pm

Get Drunk Off This App NOT Created By Penn Students

InstacartWe’ve got Grubhub for food, Netflix for movies, Amazon Prime for textbooks, and pledges for class notes.

Introducing…Instacart for alcohol (ALCOHOL)!

Now, we know what you’re thinking: 43rd and Chestnut isn’t thaat far away. But Instacart promises same-day delivery to your doorstep for the price of a cab back from your liquor run ($4ish).

Our suggestion: While we haven’t tested out the program yet, we recommend trying the 14-day Free Trial of Instacart Express (booze delivered in 1hr) or open an account and get ~free~ delivery on your first order.

NewsMarch 19, 2014 at 9:31 pm

UTB After Dark: A Reply-All Lesson For Freshmen

reply all imageChecking emails? We’re with ya. Like, we get it. You really need to swipe down and refresh your Mail app mid-date Night, mid-lecture, mid-sex – all the time – because you’re so important and get, like, hundreds of emails per hour. Fine.

But when it comes to responding to emails? How about a little tact? We’re talking to you, trigger-happy frosh, who shamelessly threw anonymity and Googleability right out the window last night.

In case you’re not on the College House First Year Residents listserv (a happening place), or if you don’t happen to be in possession of a First Year Resident’s email login info (because that’d be illegal), you probably missed waking up this morning to 72 unread pieces of listserv spam.

It started innocently enough with a call for nominations for the 2014 College House Deans Integrated Knowledge Award, granted to the select few residents whose “activities and participation have directly benefitted their own College House.” We’re talking the kid who tried to make weekly hall lunches a thing. The only barriers to winning? You need two references in support of your candidacy. And that’s when all hell broke loose. Click to see the damage!

What's HapPENNingMarch 3, 2014 at 11:23 am

What’s HapPENNing?

whats happeningOur three newest goals in life: (1) take a selfie with Ellen, (2) have a snow day, and (3) take a selfie with Ellen on a snow day.

Now, on to the events!

Today: Penn Debates the Polybian Society

  • 6:00-8:00pm @ Class of ’49 Auditorium in Houston Hall
  • With topics like “America Should be the World Superpower”, this one is sure to turn up the heat on such a frigid day! 
  • There’s free Greek Lady, so yeah. Read the rest of this entry »
It's That Time Of Year Again -- Penn In Touch now has all of the next semester's courses online which means it's time to craft that perfect four-day-weekend-with-no-class-before-1:30pm schedule. Let the procrastination begin!
NewsFebruary 27, 2014 at 1:37 pm

The Sexiest Horse On Campus Is Where?

cute preggo horse @ penn vetCourtesy of Penn Vet comes the most voyeuristically creepy-but-cute live-stream we’ve ever seen. It’s Pixar movie meets Miracle of Life–right here at Penn!

Pregnant horse My Special Girl is in the middle of a 340-day (!!!) gestation period, and from the comfort of your GSR, you can watch her eat, sleep, and walk around–basically a Jewish horse mother’s wet dream. Tune in at an odd hour, though, and you may find the pen empty. But you may get lucky and catch some ultrasound footage!

Catch all the action here!

Love WeekFebruary 13, 2014 at 5:35 pm

Don’t Be That Couple: V-Day No-Nos

obnoxious coupleHappy V-day, all! Whether you’ve planned out your Friday from morning (breakfast in bed) through evening (other stuff in bed), or if you’re scrambling for a box of chocolates minutes before she wakes up, read our step-by-step guide to being that obnoxious couple on campus. Yes, that one. 

1. Walk into CVS. Ask loudly where the Family Planning section is.

2. Plan your family.

3. Debate strawberry flavor vs. glow in the dark.

4. Revert back to the creativity of your eight-year-old birthday card-writing self and post an acrostic on your significant other’s wall:



Really good

And fun


5. Give your man a vagina monologue.

6. Mupload Cupload a picture of you two at the LOVE Statue #truelove #lame.

7. Play Quizzo together. Name your team of two something to the tune of Brangelina or Kimye.

8. Make dinner reservations–under your man’s name.

9. Wear matching Lululemon to the gym.

10. Propose.