NewsJanuary 17, 2013 at 12:25 pm

A Tolerable High Rise Elevator Ride

Think those endless ascents up the high rises are the worst?  It turns out those previously wasted minutes could be the perfect opportunity for an in-depth interview with a campus celeb.  Check out “Ups & Downs,” the newest entertainment series to hit the high rises.  Jonathon Youshaei, senior class prez, and an unidentifiable Asian (1:35) star in the show’s first installment.  We’re intrigued, and we’re fame whores…interview us for episode two?

NewsDecember 11, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Penn Tumblr Leaves Nothing To Be Desired

For what he’s calling an “artistic project,” Penn junior Dane Maniella recorded every desire he had on December 1, 2012.  And we mean every desire.  Let’s just say hour 0:00 is probably NSFVP (Not Safe For Van Pelt).  If nothing else, this project shows us just how many desires we experience over the course of a day.  In order to stave off our latest desire, not wanting to study for finals, we’ve decided to help Dane out and resolve some of his desires:

  • Dane: I don’t want to be nervous about switching out of engineering.  I want to reassure myself that I made the right choice.  I want others to reassure me that I made the right choice.
  • UTB: You totally made the right choice!
  • Dane: I want to have a favorite Animal Collective song.
  • UTB: You’re welcome.

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Chasing AmyDecember 7, 2012 at 5:56 pm

Your Presence Is Requested At An Amy G Soiree

Consider this your formal and hand-delivered invitation to Amy Gutmann’s annual holiday study break this Monday.  Dress in nines (or your library chicest) and stop by dear old Amy’s house for what she deems “a well-deserved” break.  She obviously doesn’t know we’ve spent Reading Days so far reading this and trying to beat this.

NewsDecember 6, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Sororities Vote Longchamp Bags Out

[Disclaimer: This post was part of our Joke Day series. Didn't the font tip you off?] The Panhellenic Council, which oversees the action of all sororities on campus, in a meeting last night, unanimously voted to ban any affiliated sorority girl from carrying Longchamp bags anywhere on campus. Panhel cites the company’s cruel ways in which they procure the leather for their bags as the primary reason for their decision. We’re guessing secondary reasons include repeated Longchamp-bag mix-ups at chapter meetings and the stifled individuality that comes free with every Longchamp purchase.

Enforcement of this new rule will be imposed immediately, and punishment ranges from “a talking to” to fines and even forced deactivation in cases of extreme rebellion.  Freshman and sophomore girls planning to rush in the spring are being advised to also boycott the brand in an act of solidarity.  Looks like it’s time to start carrying your lettered sweatshirts and paddles in something else, girls, because the ubiquitous Longchamp bags are officially out.

ShutterButtonDecember 3, 2012 at 11:22 am

Locust Hawk Cannot Be Tamed

Over the weekend, we were alerted to yet another sighting of the storied Locust Hawk. Spotted slightly off Locust this time, yet no less vicious, Countess ripped apart another victim in the form of a helpless squirrel right in front of this adoring spectator. Happy Monday, y’all.

NewsNovember 19, 2012 at 4:23 pm

And Your Spring Fling Performers Are…

…one of these people?!  This picture surfaced yesterday, so it’s official: the Spring Fling performers could be on this Huntsman chalkboard!  Kendrick Lamar is circled, Robyn is boxed, and even Mozart is on the list.  What does it all mean?  Zoom endlessly on the pictures and let the speculations continue. Only 144 days to go until we can be sure!

One more picture to scrutinize after the jump…

More HuffPenn- Jonathan Youshaei, 2013 class prez, also appears on Huffington Post today with his own advice on how to find and land a job at the next Google.  When's your HuffPo article coming out?
ShutterButtonOctober 29, 2012 at 6:13 pm

ShutterButton: Sandy Takes No Prisoners

According to this picture from The DP, Sandy has cast its first sacrifice: the tree in front of Amy G’s house on 38th and Walnut.  It’s clear Sandy has no qualms when it comes to her path of destruction.  Stay safe and continue praying to the gods.

NewsOctober 25, 2012 at 9:54 am

Warby Parker Strolls Into Town

Warby Parker, that trendy online eyeglasses company founded by four Wharton grads, has taken their company to the streets and University City is the next stop on the tour.  Their magic school bus will be parked on Walnut between 36th and 37th and then later between 39th and 40th.

You can peruse their online collection, consult with eyewear stylists, and even get an eye exam-all in the bus!  And if you’re in search of a reason to frequent Tap House tonight, all the Warby Parkers will be celebrating their foray into Philadelphia there from 7pm to midnight.  Glasses have never been cooler.

What's HapPENNingOctober 15, 2012 at 9:09 am

What’s HapPENNing?

There’s nothing that makes us want to escape the Penn bubble more than midterms, so this week’s rife with motivations for escape.  The only thing more crowded than the VP basement this week will be the sold out Beach House concert (who’s got an extra ticket for this editor??), but we’ve lassoed up all the Philly finds with plenty of open spots.  Stop wasting your time searching for an empty carrel, make like Petula Clark, and take a trip downtown this week.

“City Hall Presents”   
Who: Sonia Sanchez, the poet laureate of Philadelphia
When and Where: Wednesday, 5:30 p.m.; City Hall
Why: October is Mural Arts Month, and aforementioned poet laureate Sonia Sanchez has created a public art project for the city called Peace is a Haiku Song.  Hear her talk about her haikus and peep other Philadelphia-based poets at this free presentation.

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