Apparently not how to spell “Wednesday.” Party on, Class of 2011 Board!

The playful characterization of Whartonites as money-hungry  by the common people of the College of Arts and Sciences is such a mainstay at Penn that it’s basically a cliché. What we didn’t know though, is that Engineers hate Wharton’s wannabe Masters of the Universe even more than the College hoi polloi – and actually with good reason.

Much to the delight of the Engineering Quad gang, and to the dismay of Hunstman Hall hangers-on, meet Whartonite Seeks Code Monkey, a blog devoted to ripping on the business students who have big dreams and plans for tech-y startups, but don’t have the technical know-how to proceed. Alas, enter the Engineering Code Monkey, expected to do all the hard stuff, likely without all the recognition the biz kids are getting. Read the rest of this entry »

When Yo-Reka opened in 1920 Commons, it sounded like a great idea – yogurt is so cool! Except then it wasn’t even frozen yogurt, it was vats of “Greek” yogurt that you had to glop into a container and affix with toppings. Thanks, but the Dannon was fine. Obviously, the Greek yogurt thing wasn’t going so hot, and transforming into a “Meditteranean salad bar” after 10:30 a.m. This also would sound like a great idea, or so I thought! Unfortunately though, the whole nasty containers of lukewarm stuff sitting out all day and breeding salmonella thing wasn’t scrapped. We’re sure the food tastes fine, maybe. Read the rest of this entry »

The times, they are a changin’. Soon enough, it’ll be May, my fellow seniors and I will don cap and gown and…well, before we get there…I’m just here to announce some exciting changes on this here blog and bring you on a quick, brief, non-sappy nostalgic adventure.

When the Class of 2011 started at Penn some seven semesters ago, things in our little world were quite different: Bush was president, it was just about impossible to register for classes on the old Penn In Touch, no one used Twitter and your parents weren’t on Facebook. But you know what else wasn’t around? Under The Button.

Come along! More nostalgia, accolades and a shockingly bizarre Kenn Kweder video after the jump! >>

A curious red van picked up students on 40th and Locust. Where it was sending them, we do not know.

[Disclaimer: This article was part of our "Joke Day" series... if you couldn't tell by the usage of Comic Sans.] In a last ditch effort to finish his thesis, senior Sociology major Dirk Evans checked American Sociology: Perspectives, Problems, Method out of the Van Pelt library. Evans said it was his first time borrowing a book from the library, “though obviously I’ve done work with my boys in Rosengarten and sometimes if I need to cram and I can score an Adderall I’ll crank out a couple pages in the fourth floor stacks.” Though Evans said he was hesitant to check out a physical book, he said he was surprised by the efficiency of the process. “I guess it was a good system, that you can just find any book you want and borrow it to write your paper,” Evans commented. “The only thing that sucks,” he lamented. “Is that you can’t copy and paste the quotes you want to use which is what I usually do.” Evans said it is unlikely that he will check out a book again, as he plans to complete his thesis this weekend.

[Disclaimer: This article was part of our "Joke Day" series... if you couldn't tell by the usage of Comic Sans.] Female toilet-goers said they were “grossed out” at a fraternity gathering this Saturday night, when they were shocked and surprised by the lack of a clean roll of toilet paper in the bathroom. A College sophomore explained that she had gone into the bathroom with a friend who happened to have a pack of tissues, so they “just used that as toilet paper.” A Wharton junior, however, was less fortunate when she defied social norms and used the toilet alone. “Do guys not wipe?” she asked quizzically.

The fraternity president said “the dumbass social chairs will be making a trip to Costco ASAP.”

Seniors, graduation is five months away – which means it’s time to start thinking about….WHAT THE HELL. Seniors received an enthusiastic “Save The Date” yesterday email which included a link to the “Commencement 2011 Fall Brochure.”  Said “Fall Brochure” is a four page schedule of commencement activities with pictures of diverse smiling students. Of course, this begs many questions: will there be a Winter and Spring Brochure as well?

Not that he’s not still the Messiah, of course. Today, our gift to you is a 1978 interview with Tuesday night denizen of Smokey Joe’s, Kenn Kweder, whose fans at the time called him the Messiah (according to the lady in the funny hat)!

Kweder, who knows how to rev up a crowd of belligerent barely 21-year-olds by belting “mothafuckasssss” had some prophetic words back in the day: “Einstein was blessed with an understanding of science, I was blessed with an understanding of writing good songs.” Remember this as you belt out “Sweet Caroline” with Kenn in the wee hours this Tuesday evening.

Baby carrots…now affectionately known by your neighborhood Fresh Grocer as “mini carettes.” According to the highly trafficked Wikipedia page for Baby Carrots, the people originally responsible for developing the baby carrot in the 1940s considered calling the product “carettes.” But they didn’t. “Mini carettes” seems a little redundant, non?

Annoyingly, things you could not find in Fro Gro this weekend: wine. The machine was broken.