We’re not given to obvious displays of geekery (that one time we said “Frak” doesn’t count), so when we went to see the new Star Trek movie, we were nervous. Would everyone in the audience be wearing Federation uniforms? Would they be speaking Klingon? Sure, mad scientist director J.J. Abrams, the mastermind behind sci-fi lovechildren Lost and Fringe (and Felicity!), promised us that this film would rejuvenate the Trek franchise. But still, visions of Star Trek conventions haunted our dreams.
Turns out, this new Trek is — dare we say it — really frakking cool.
The head of library security just interrupted our Rosengarten-based procrastination-fest to announce that two laptops and a wallet were stolen from the first floor of Van Pelt this afternoon. He proceeded to warn us not to leave our valuables when we go to get coffee, because there’s a mad laptop thief loose in the building! (Well, he may not have used those exact words. But that was the gist.) Said klepto swiped two laptops and a wallet in thirty minutes. So we’re pissed, but actually also kind of impressed.
Mostly, though, we are disheartened. Van Pelt is supposed to be a safe haven, a place where hard workers can wander away from their highly valuable electronics without a second thought. We can’t be expected to actually take responsibility for our computers and wallets! What’s next? Paying for our food? Throwing out our trash? This aggression will not stand, man.
Now, security guards—or are they cops? Ah!—are wandering around the building, presumably hot on the trail of the bandits. Here’s hoping they catch the bad guy soon. We don’t want to schlep all our stuff with us when we leave for half an hour to get dinner.
It’s time for another ticket giveaway! Street has ten free tickets to an advanced screening of Fast & Furious, this Wednesday night at 7:30 at the Bridge. Each ticket admits two, and comes with F&F condoms, an F&F Frisbee, and an F&F poster! Swag just doesn’t get better than that.
To win, all you have to do is email street-film@dailypennsylvanian.com with suggestions of how to use all three of those items at once. The ten most creative ideas win, and the contest closes Tuesday night at midnight.
A tipster, who was playing in Adobe Illustrator, has just discovered that our beloved Penn Emblem is, for lack of a better word, wonky. To make it easier for you to see this egregious error, we’ve drawn some helpful lines.
We checked, and it turns out this version of the sacred symbol is everywhere. It’s off-center on the website, on the letterhead, on our PennCards and, most tragically, on our sweatshirts. This makes us sad. Hey Penn – full refund for all our paraphernalia (and, um tuition)?
A close-up (in which the problem is even more painfully obvious), is after the jump.
Our Google Calendars have helpfully informed us that on March 1st there will be a Feb Club event at Franklin Fountain and the Penn’s Landing ice rink. We’re confused –- wasn’t this the February 15th event that was canceled for the meningitis outbreak? The class board informed disappointed seniors that everyone would be getting the meningitis stamp (Hurrah! Although we suggested that they just start stamping at Student Health instead). But now the event has cropped up again. Is this the mysterious 29th stamp that the board has been promising to “announce shortly” since the end of January?
If so, a greater question must be asked. If Franklin Fountain hadn’t been canceled, what would the 29th stamp have been? Round 2 at Jimmy John’s? Or were they going to spring for something more adventurous, like, say, CVS? We suspect a more sinister plot. Unable to come up with an idea for stamp 29, the board released their secret stash of meningitis so that February 15th would be canceled, and they could re-use their old idea. They are evil GENIUSES.
(NB: j/k, class board! We heart you! Please still give us our Feb Club prizes!)
Street’s resident film mavens, Julie Steinberg and Jess Spiegelman, have provided us with a comprehensive — and amusing — liveblog of last night’s Oscar ceremony. Whether you watched or not, Julie and Jess’s insights are good for your health.
0:03: Hugh Jackman is singing about human excrement to Kate Winslet. She laughs, but looks kind of uncomfortable.
0:05: Jeez, Anne Hathaway sings too? That girl is annoyingly awesome.
0:19: Penelope Cruz talks about how she used to stay up late to watch the Oscars as a little girl in Spain. The whole Kodak theater says, “Awwwwwww.”
0:23: Any Tina Fey-tigue we might have had is gone. Her presentation with Steve Martin is perfection.
0:31:Slumdog Oscar #1, for Best Adapted Screenplay.
0:32: Someone at the Oscars has a wicked sense of humor: cutting to Angelina while Jennifer Aniston is presenting? Awwwwkward.
Yesterday might have kicked off Feb Club and the Steelers may have won the Superbowl, but those events are nothing–-nothing!-–compared to the glory of today. Today is Groundhog Day. While it’s not actually my favorite holiday of the year (Oh New Year’s, you’re always such a letdown, but I’ll love you forever), it’s up there. Groundhog Day celebrates the world’s all-time most ludicrous superstition: that a groundhog, a furry, big-toothed, relatively unintelligent rodent, can predict how much more winter there will be based on whether it sees its shadow. Its shadow. Seriously. The largest stronghold of prophesying not-quite-rats is right here in PA; we live only a short 4 hours and 53 minutes from Punxsutawney, home of Punxsutawney Phil, so if you leave now…well, you won’t make it, but there’s always next year.
But aside from the wonderful fact that otherwise intelligent (probably?) adults cluster around burrows to see whether or not a marmot has a shadow, Groundhog Day also inspired one of the most brilliant movies of all time. Groundhog Day is such a perfect movie, I can forgive Andie MacDowell her vapidness (which is saying something, because she is really vapid). For those who haven’t seen it: Bill Murray stars as Phil, asshole weatherman, who wakes up every morning to learn that it’s February 2nd, again, and he’s in Punxsutawney, where they take this amazingly stupid holiday verrrrrry seriously. Hilarity ensues.
Everyone has been in this situation: you’re watching a movie with friends, when a character says something you don’t understand, but which sounds really deep. So you nod and pretend to be impressed, because you don’t want to seem stupid. Well, you’re not stupid. You’re smart. The line just makes no sense.
Enter Street. We’re compiling the top ten movie quotes we don’t understand, and we want you, the readers, to help. Leave your suggestions in the comments below, or send them to street-film@dailypennsylvanian.com before Tuesday night at midnight. Then, this Thursday, the ten most ridiculous lines will appear in the Film section of Street. The person who suggests the most nonsensical quote of all will win 2 free passes to an advanced screening of an upcoming movie.
There’s always one movie that, despite an all-star cast, an A-list director, and tons of critical acclaim, gets overlooked during awards season. At the Golden Globes this year, that movie was Milk, the Sean Penn biopic that only garnered one nomination. Street film critic Tucker Johns gives us the lowdown on this year’s HFPA snub.
Biopics are taking over the world, which makes it hard to get excited about what seems like yet another mildly interesting story about a mildly interesting real person. But Milk, director Gus Van Sant’s film about the last years of Harvey Milk, America’s first openly gay elected official, is more than just a biopic. The film is elevated to a whole new level by Van Sant’s direction, a strong supporting cast, and an outstanding performance by Sean Penn as the eponymous lead.
If, like me, you get irrationally excited at awards season (my list of things that rock basically goes: the Oscars, my birthday, the Emmys, Mad Men, Ben and Jerry’s Vermonty Python), then you’ve been looking forward to this for weeks. OK, so it’s not the Oscars, but, in a way, the Golden Globes are even better. The celebs actually sit and eat dinner instead of awkwardly twiddling their thumbs in a massive theater, and–-the coup de grace–-TV is included. If, like me, you couldn’t live without your TiVo, the Golden Globes are simply awesome.
I’m not going to include the entire list here–it’s freaking long–but here are a few highlights.
BEST MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA
1. THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON 2. FROST/NIXON 3. THE READER 4. REVOLUTIONARY ROAD 5. SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE
I’ve recently discovered that I am too old to mooch off my parents when I want to give my friends presents. Bursar got me through this little snafu for a while, but the ‘rents have totally caught on, and anyway, I feel guilty spending money on Everyone Poops (an awesome gift, BTDubs) when the economy is imploding on itself. So what to do?
The answer: send an e-card from jibjab.com, the amazing geniuses who brought us “This Land” during the 2004 election (in which John Kerry was very proud of having won the purple heart “thrice”). In just a few short minutes, you can put the heads of yourself and your loved ones onto bodies that are energetically getting down tonight. You’ve never seen anyone disco like this before; my personal favorite part is the enthusiastic grinding. It’s totally free, and ridiculously funny. I’m still laughing at the one I made with my parents’ heads 3 weeks ago.
But don’t take my word for it. Here’s a sample, with my head and the head of my hot with a double T co-editor, Julie. (Sorry, Julie, I made you the guy.) Happy holidays.
Wednesday morning, 8 am. My alarm goes off. I stagger out of bed, silently cursing myself for watching those two episodes of Full House last night instead of going to sleep at a reasonable hour. I pull on my comfy jeans, throw my hair into a truly hideous bun, pack up my computer and what seems like a thousand library books, and head to Van Pelt. I have 2 papers due tomorrow, and I haven’t started either. It’s going to be a long day.
9 am. I arrive at Rosengarten, and immediately grab my favorite table. It’s directly under a light, so it’s not as depressing as the rest of the floor, and it’s close enough to Mark’s so that I can make sure my computer isn’t being stolen as I buy cup after cup of coffee.
On a Monday night, movie theaters are filled with my favorite kind of people: procrastinators who love movies. With the work load Penn gets sadistic pleasure from doling out, I don’t have time to put down the books and hit the Bridge in the middle of the week, let alone on the night I need to compensate for a particularly hedonistic weekend. And yet that is what I did last night: against my better judgment, I decided not to write my papers, do my reading, or study for my tests; instead, I saw Twilight. Will I regret this decision come T-Gives, when instead of seeing all my friends from home I am glued to my computer?
Hellz no.
Here’s the thing about Twilight. It’s hilarious. I spent two hours trying, and failing, to keep the volume of my laughter down, and fighting off muscle spasms caused by said laughter-stifling. I haven’t had such a good laugh since I watched Pierce Brosnan try not to throw up during his musical numbers in Mamma Mia! What with finals coming up, it was much appreciated.
The cherry on the sundae that was yesterday’s awesomeness (an awesomeness that largely stemmed from me finding new websites to procrastinate with) was being sent a link to this article by a friend. Unfortunately, I couldn’t copy and paste this thing no matter how hard I tried, but trust me, this link is definitely worth clicking on. To whet your appetite, the article is called “Man tries to pay bill with spider drawing.” Enjoy.
My personal favorite part? “I am currently away on leave, traveling through time and will be returning last week.” Genius.
So the big question is: is this real? So far the vote seems to be split about 50/50. Tell us what you think!
I like to pretend I’m cool by telling people that I’m over Facebook. And, to a certain extent, I am. I don’t really write on people’s walls (at least not as compulsively as I used to…oh, freshman year), and it takes a herculean effort for me to actually post pictures. But last night, I was happier than I’ve ever been that Facebook is a part of my life. The reason? Drunk Facebook messaging.
At 1:16 AM, I received the following message from a guy (let’s call him Random Guy) whom I met briefly at Kaplan SAT teacher training three years ago, and haven’t spoken to since:
“You’re cute. I wish I had asked you out during that Kaplan training many years ago.
P.S. Have you ever been to Urbino?”
There are several reasons–-aside from the massive ego boost–-why this is the most amazing thing that has ever happened. First of all, why on earth would Random Guy ask if I’ve been to Urbino? (Which I had to Wiki; apparently, it’s a small town in Italy. Who knew?) Did he maybe think he saw me there? Do I seem like the sort of person who haunts walled Italian cities? Secondly, why was Random Guy drunk on a Wednesday night? Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but still, it’s very curious. And since the last time I thought about Random Guy was when I accepted his friend request at the beginning of 2006, how did he wind up thinking about me all the way at the end of 2008? I have so many questions, I’m actually considering responding.
You can stun me with your phaser anytime. 
Our Google Calendars have helpfully informed us that on March 1st there will be a Feb Club event at Franklin Fountain and the Penn’s Landing ice rink. We’re confused –- wasn’t this the February 15th event that was canceled for the meningitis outbreak? The class board informed disappointed seniors that everyone would be getting the 
Street’s resident film mavens, Julie Steinberg and Jess Spiegelman, have provided us with a comprehensive — and amusing — liveblog of last night’s Oscar ceremony. Whether you watched or not, Julie and Jess’s insights are good for your health. 
Everyone has been in this situation: you’re watching a movie with friends, when a character says something you don’t understand, but which sounds really deep. So you nod and pretend to be impressed, because you don’t want to seem stupid. Well, you’re not stupid. You’re smart. The line just makes no sense.
On a Monday night, movie theaters are filled with my favorite kind of people: procrastinators who love movies. With the work load Penn gets sadistic pleasure from doling out, I don’t have time to put down the books and hit the Bridge in the middle of the week, let alone on the night I need to compensate for a particularly hedonistic weekend. And yet that is what I did last night: against my better judgment, I decided not to write my papers, do my reading, or study for my tests; instead, I saw Twilight. Will I regret this decision come T-Gives, when instead of seeing all my friends from home I am glued to my computer?
