Before Beyonce and Obama took over this blog, there was another important celebrity in our hearts. I’m speaking, of course, of Tina Fey. Indeed, we championed her virtues as an important mentor to today’s students, prattled on about her stint as Palin (which might have saved SNL from the same fate as Mad TV) and showed you the glory of 30 Rock.
Congrats, Penn students, on surviving finals. In the hope that your next month of relaxation goes smoothly, consider this early Hanukkah present to be your send-off.
What, like you expected anything else from me?
Editor’s Note: We have not yet watched the above, but will post in sight unseen with the expectation that it is a video featuring Beyonce, puppies, Beyonce’s puppies, a new breed of puppies called Beyont-zhus, etc. Happy holidays from your friends at UTB.
Procrastination drives a man to do some crazy things. And one of those things, at least for a friend and me, is browsing Penn’s Web site.
Admittedly, I never did this in high school, nor when I was applying to transfer for Penn. After all, everyone knows that a college’s Web site isn’t any more informative than a quick list of stats from the College Board or those books designed to help confused high school juniors pick out their dream school. Indeed, the only new information I’ve ever gotten from them was the value of a school’s Computer Science and/or Graphic Design departments.
Doing laundry in the dorms sucks. For those of you who might be too far removed from the experience (or the spoiled among you who send your laundry out), let me paint you a picture. Imagine me dragging my hamper to the laundry room, only to discover that one of the dryers won’t turn on, another one doesn’t have heat, and all four washers are full. Now, picture me dragging my laundry across Hill only to find myself in the same situation. If you really close your eyes and imagine, you can probably hear me saying “Fuck this, I’m taking a nap.” Lather, rinse, repeat every two weeks for three months.
But even though Facilities still hasn’t fixed all of the dryers (probably still working on the high rises’ toilet situation), Penn Housing Services has at least answered some of our prayers. No longer will I have to wander throughout Hill like an Israelite, because I have seen the future: LaundryAlert.com.
“An Internet laundry machine monitoring system,” LaundryAlert monitors all of the laundry rooms on campus and lets you know how many machines are available or being used. More than that, the website tells you how long you have to wait for that washer to free up so you can relentlessly throw some poor sap’s clothes on top of the dirty machine. And it will even send you an e-mail when that time finally arrives. (You need a password to use the site–search your email archives, Penn Housing already sent one out.)
Yes, it’s true, the website is ugly as sin (seriously, Helen Keller could have done a better job with this thing). And I’d much prefer a notification text over an e-mail, but the fact that I will no longer have to make 30 trips to the laundry room every day is enough for me to welcome LaundryAlert into my heart.
After a cab ride back from 30th Street Station on Sunday, I was completely prepared to go off on the 50-cent gas surcharge. As a cheap–not to mention broke–college student, I hop in a taxi about once a month (I made an exception this month to take a drunk ride back from karaoke in Upper Darby). Paying the $6 to get back from 30th Street Station hurts my heart, but let’s face it, walking through Drexel’s campus only makes coming back from Thanksgiving break that much harder. So needless to say, I was pretty miffed at having to pay an extra 50 cents now that gas has gone back towards $2 a gallon.
But instead of an embittered rant, I come bearing great news. Apparently the Philadelphia Parking Administration thinks the same way I do and has decided to get rid of the gas surcharge. Consider it your Christmas gift from the City of Brotherly Love.
Good call, PPA. Especially since we’ve only got six more days until the South Street Bridge closes (for what will be the longest 24-months of our lives), and you’ll just get those 50 cents back for every extra minute we have to sit in the horrible traffic on Spruce or Market.
As I was lingering near the Button and talking to Street editors today, it occurred to me that that we officially have a week left until Thanksgiving–and with that, Thanksgiving break. Seriously, where did November go? Didn’t the days fly by as we got caught up in Obamamania, Rahmania, and Beyonce-mania? (Okay, admittedly, that last one was just me, and because I can’t stop, here’s one more Beyonce-related video that you will love yourself for watching.)
Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays, largely because it is the only day where eating a meal of entirely carbs is somehow acceptable (further evidence: stuffing, mashed potatos, and sweet potatoes). Also, I love waking up in the morning to watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving is my favorite of the Peanuts specials, and bringing leftovers back to school means I won’t have to eat at Hill for the remainder of the semester.
But perhaps my favorite Thanksgiving tradition is the hand turkey. Perhaps you haven’t made one of these in years, so allow me to recap: put your hand on a piece of paper. Trace it. Add a wattle and beak. Go crazy with crayons. And let me tell you, the addition of booze means that this timeless tradition is actually more fun in college than it was in kindergarten.
When we opened the DP yesterday and read about the opportunity to get paid for note-taking, we were thrilled. After all, once we’re done with a final, we dump all of the semester’s information out of our brains to make room for the next set of classes. Wouldn’t it be nice if we were rewarded long after our blue-books were handed in (you can say what you want about learning being its own reward; we’d rather have cold, hard cash)? Besides, since my degree will likely only prepare me for a career as a secretary, this would be great to list as relevant work experience.
But more than that, I was also excited that GradeGuru.com would help me with my econ problem. Okay, full disclosure: I have many econ problems, but the one that I’m most concerned about is my inability to concentrate at 10 a.m. during a class I abhor so wholeheartedly. My notes mostly consist of random graphs and doodles, plus some indecipherable words and equations. Clearly the best method to a good GPA.
My curiosity piqued, I headed over to GradeGuru.com and checked it out (you get 50 free sets of notes without registering). Here’s what I found:
Welcome back to Over It, the occasional feature that consists of a UTB contributor ranting about something they are so totally over.
Now that I’ve listened through I Am… Sasha Fierce a few times (and my Beyonce-mania is subsiding), I have returned to the usual forms of procrastination. This, of course, includes compulsively refreshing my Facebook home page and scanning through the updated News Feed. While admittedly, I can’t be sure whether I’m writing at the beginning of the trend or its end (or perhaps this isn’t so much a trend as a reflection of the company I keep?), my News Feed has become dominated by some of the most horrible perversions of Facebook that I have ever seen (well, almost).
Allow me to explain further. Many of my acquaintances have been recording videos during class which they then post to the Internet. Let me make something clear: while you may feel like a BAMF for doing this, it does not make you cool.
Look, I’m all for a good vlog every now and then (this example is not safe for work), but this is just ridiculous. Who the hell wants to watch you sit and make faces at a camera for four minutes while your professor drones on about market equilibrium in the background? Because chances are, if you find your class so boring that you have to vlog during it, I’m going to find your class so boring I don’t want to watch you sit in it. Also, when you try to mouth sentences in the camera, I can’t understand you.
A devoted reader sent me a link to a story from The New York Times that further proves that a vote for Obama is a vote for hope. Hope that our society will cast off its BlackBerry addiction and emerge stronger and renewed.
Indeed, in the interest of national security (and, I’d like to think, breaking the habit), Obama will have to give up his BlackBerry. Apparently, e-mail is not a secure enough form of communication to be discussing national secrets. Not only that, but it’s hardly appropriate for the President of the United States to conduct his diplomacy over BBM (to Gordon Brown: “lol @ ahmadinejad. srsly, txt him and tell him to 86 the WMDs or watch his back: sanctions.” to Horst Köhler: “c u @ G8 poker night?”).
Either way, the article discusses just how attached to his BlackBerry the President-elect is. Which just goes to show you, ladies of Penn, despite your compulsive BBMing every three minutes, yes, you can.
Beyonce is the new Obama, in that every other UTB post is about her now. We hope you’re pleased with this development.
Remember that time I was concerned that SNL would lose it’s edge after the election? Well, I’m wondering if Lorne Michaels reads this blog, because on Saturday, the show broke out the big guns.
As a self-appointed foodie, I’ve found that one of the most painful parts of living in a dorm is the lackluster kitchen (or, in many cases, the lack of any kitchen at all). And even for those us who have the ideal kitchen, we often don’t have money to buy nice pots or pans, fun kitchen tools or quality ingredients. So instead, we turn to ramen (bad), Easy Mac (worse), and Penn Dining (think Tales from the Crypt).
It was after staring at the unidentifiable piece of meat on my plate from Hill Dining that I decided it was time to live vicariously through the food experiences of others. And thus, the food-blog: because when you can’t have polenta, you might as well read about it.
But it wasn’t until I discovered TasteSpotting that I really began living. This website is a foodie’s dream. TasteSpotting is basically an index of tantalizing images of food. And even though the pictures are user-submitted, the editorial staff of the website reviews for quality, meaning you’ll see things that are more visually akin to gazpacho by Jose Garces than meatloaf by Aunt Marge.
Beyond that, though, TasteSpotting links to blogs, recipes, restaurant reviews, and information on unusual and exciting food ingredients. Basically, think of it as a launching pad for your food blog journey–a Google Images of the food world.
There are less than seven days until Beyonce’s new album (I Am… Sasha Fierce) drops. And if the video below is any indication of its quality, I will totally be buying it (okay, you caught me, I would have bought it anyway).
Let’s talk about how awesome this is. Because I cannot stop watching it (the song is addictive, and, again, I love Beyonce), I’ve had time to consider the video in depth. Mostly, it’s so simple, yet somehow so effective. While it may not have been influenced by Japanese kaiju, the choice of black-and-white certainly lends the video a retro feel that’s emphasized by Beyonce’s 80s-inspired leotard. The dancing is impeccable, and even though nothing happens in the video (except some surreal lighting effects), we almost prefer it that way.
Kudos, Beyonce. Marriage has not taken away your edge.
It’s a well-known fact that Penn students don’t get nearly enough sleep. And that’s probably why the line at the Starbucks on 34th and Walnut generally extends out the door between classes. Without our caffeine fix, we’d be grumpier than McCain without his Geritol.
That’s precisely why Starbucks’ recent economic troubles concern us so much. Imagine having to walk that extra block to 34th and Chestnut (or the bookstore or Commons…) every day in pursuit of your Venti Extra-Hot Soy Cappuccino, without which you simply could not make it through that three-hour seminar.
Economic loss or not, Starbucks knows we’re addicted, and in response they’ve brought us the Starbucks Gold Card. A program which (after guessing how much will likely be spent to market it) will probably eventuallybring its ultimate downfall. Let’s examine further, shall we?
Upon leaving Hill this morning, my nose met with an unfamiliar and unwelcome stench. Why, I wondered, did our pristine campus smell like garbage? Were the freshmen from New Jersey that homesick that they had to defile Locust Walk with a trash mountain this morning? Was this comeuppance from the disgruntled former employees of the 40th Street McDonald’s? Either way, as I approached the piles of trash outside Van Pelt, all I knew was that I almost preferred that funky SEPTA smell to whatever it was that was hitting my nose.
UTB is personally insulted!
But none of my predictions were true. Instead, it was a demonstration encouraging me to recycle. In essence, further proof that our university is turning into Brown.
As I was lingering near the Button and talking to Street editors today, it occurred to me that that we officially have a week left until Thanksgiving–and with that, Thanksgiving break. Seriously, where did November go? Didn’t the days fly by as we got caught up in 
When we opened the DP yesterday and read about 
As a self-appointed foodie, I’ve found that one of the most painful parts of living in a dorm is the lackluster kitchen (or, in many cases, the lack of any kitchen at all). And even for those us who have the ideal kitchen, we often don’t have money to buy nice pots or pans, fun kitchen tools or quality ingredients. So instead, we turn to ramen (bad), Easy Mac (worse), and Penn Dining (think Tales from the Crypt).
It’s a well-known fact that Penn students don’t get nearly enough sleep. And that’s probably why the line at the Starbucks on 34th and Walnut generally extends out the door between classes. Without our caffeine fix, we’d be grumpier than McCain without his Geritol.
