Many stood green-eyed and jaw-dropped as this girl became THAT girl. You know, the one who everyone wanted to be yesterday as Madame President took the first bite out of her sacred Hey Day hat (and a colossal bite at that). While we’re certainly jealous, this photo sequence is admittedly one for the books (read: the Penn admissions website/pamphlet/everything). 100 points for you, gal, dreams really do come true.
Blinded by the glitz and glamour that is Amy Gutmann, we sometimes forget those who came before her. That’s right, our favorite blonde bombshell didn’t always reign over Penn. A number of presidents and provosts have kept this school alive since 1740, and it’s about time we recognize them, and relate them to you.
“Move over, BuzzFeed,” we say once again. Which Penn President are you? Do you have what it takes to get A-Gut? You might be surprised… Take our personality quiz!
For those of you too drunk to remember, there were a plethora of Fling tanks this year, as always. Some were actually amusing. Some were unpleasantly boring. Some were desperately unclever. We get it, you wanted to stand out, and for better or worse, we noticed you. So accept our awards and comments with honor and pride, or remorse and defeat, we don’t know your life. Firstly…
UTB and 34th Street present: The Best Tanks You Will Ever Wear
In case you were wondering who the crème de la crème of Wharton and Nursing are, behold the Lantern and Nightingales societies.
Maybe they’re born with it, or maybe their best friends tapped them. Either way, you’re amongst the elite now, cherubs. Make it work.
Another round of applause for the newbies, you’re on the edge of glory.
With Fling in full swing,
How could you not,
Send us the embarrassing
drunk texts that you got?
For the fourth year in a row,
we’re here to round up,
The texts crafted, in part,
by the drink in your cup.
Include the area code,
We won’t say your name,
No need for explanation,
No need to feel shame.
Send the best ones to email@example.com ,
To or from your TA, your ex, or your mom.
Your texts will be famous! On our website they’ll hang,
As proof that your Fling went out with a bang.
Calling all Quakers to join this contest,
Just send us your texts, and we’ll do the rest ;)
One of these nights you’ve probably stumbled upon the new babies of Penn’s senior societies (or more likely, they stumbled into you). These newbs are a rare breed, and can be seen frolicking across campus throwing up ambiguous finger signs; things us plebs would only dream of doing!
With that said, congratulations to the new pledge classes! To the fallen taps, we still love all of you, and hey, maybe you’ll be tapped again in the fall.
But for now, here is the new generation of Penn’s standouts!
Welcome back to Penn Madness, the only election/bracket/multiple choice that isn’t driving you, well, mad. The votes are in, and here are the final four (RIP DFMO). The competition is getting fierce, Quakers. Like, Penn admission fierce. Who will face off in the final round? You decide. Hurrah for Round Three, let madness ring!
Unless you’re a freshman, you’ve realized that sublet season is the Regina George of your summer plans (the bitch that
stole Aaron Samuels ruins EVERYTHING). Finding a room or a subletter can be tough…like speaking up when the Houston salad gal skimps you on candied walnuts tough. And you want your room to be clean? Forgetaboutit.
We want to hear your WORST sublet stories. Whether you were the victim or the perpetrator, we won’t judge, just send them to firstname.lastname@example.org and check back to see the worst ones after break. Who knows, the story could be, and probably is, about you!