After years of agonizing research, we’ve finally solved Ego’s perennial question. In a shocking twist of fate, scientists have confirmed that there are three kinds of people at Penn—those who love flyers, those who hate flyers, and those who have an unstoppable urge to write haikus about flyers. We are in the latter camp.
We know what you’re thinking—enough scholarly discourse, bring on the poetry! Ok, ok, we’ll indulge you just this once.
Penn Singers Presents: Thoroughly Modern Millie
We tried out for this.
They cast us as a coat rack.
Come see our debut!
Penny Loafers Fall Show: Abercrombeat and Pitch
We lol‘d at the theme.
The show is close to Chili‘s.
Off the Beat Presents: Technicolor
Sceney aca group.
Singing J.T. We‘ll be there.
CRY ME A RIIIIIVA!
Arts House Dance Company and Penn Masala Present: Flappers and Falsettos
Already sold out
Aca-dance group love baby
Hear our falsetto.
The Excelano Project Presents: Raindance
The best poetry
Except for one fatal flaw,
No Locust Flaikus.
Flyerers, we commend you on your commitment to your causes. Standing out in the cold takes chutzpah! Can’t say we’re gonna come to your events, but you have earned our respect.
West Philly Swingers present: The Adventures of Superlead and Wonderfollow
We don’t really get
The title of your show but
Can’t go wrong with swing!
SPEC Concerts presents: The Neighbourhood
Dark pop band of dudes
SPEC is redeeming itself
Concert on Friday
Penn Players presents: Assassins
Sondheim is a boss
Watch ‘em try to shoot the prez
Break a leg, Players!
More Flyer Themed Zen
Clubs flyering on Locust this week: you’ve been tricked. You thought we were normal Penn students traipsing down Locust in search of something to do this weekend, but we were actually journalists taking your flyers to create this juicy collection of poems. Call us Kate Taylor or something–just kidding, please don’t.
Strictly Funk presents: Dante’s Inferno
This week, Iron Gate:
The only Penn kids with swag
Gonna be hot, y’all!
Sparks Dance Company Presents: “Cirque du Sparks”
Another dance show
But this has bearded ladies
JK. We wish, doe.
Counterparts Fall Show: Private ‘Parts
The boy handing out
This flyer was really cute.
Show your “Private Parts.”
TRIHOP for St. Jude’s
We wish this were every week.
Insert Tridelt joke?
What’s a kid got to do to get a flyer around here? This week, we were practically begging you to hand us flyers, while you stood and chatted in your little “clubs.”
Anyways, here are the flyers we DID manage to get, translated into Flaiku.
SAS Presents: Nightmare on SAS Street
Dancing to foreign music
What’s there not to like?
APO Presents: The Running Dead Zombie 5K
Practice running for
The zombie apocalypse
SPEC Presents: Chance the Rapper’s Social Experiment Tour
Chance comes to Penn to
Spit mad rhymes and drop dope beats
Year of Sound goes on
Bloomers Presents: The Bad, The Bad, and the Bad
Don’t mess with these chicks
Gonna tell you tons of jokes
And make you like it
Onda Latina and Yalla Present: The Grand Illusion
Fulfill your need for
Salsa and mysticism
And swiveling hips
It’s the Return of the Flaikus! We know you missed your weekly flaiku dose even more than you missed the flyers themselves.
Here’s what’s happening this week for those of you who haven’t been strolling down Locust.
SPEC Presents Mount Kimbie, A Sol Mechanic, and Dream Safari
Oh thank god it’s an
English post-dubstep duo
SPEC fills a void
Have a blast, splash cash
Make dreams come true for small kids
Cut for Bieber ends
Mask and Wig Presents: A State of Confucian
With puns a-plenty
And tap dancing dudes in drag
Let’s all pa-GO-da
Alpha Kappa Delta Phi Presents: Coffee House
Hella food and dance
For breast cancer awareness
Asians provide all
HSC/YJA’s Annual Navratri Garba
Become more cultured
Hitting sticks with Indians
But please not on them
You may think that with classes ending and the school year coming to a close, Penn’s student groups would also be packing it in for the summer. However, if this week’s flyers are any indication, the weekend has big things in store for
the performers’ closest friends the entire student body. So, put away your textbooks and shut down your laptops because this line up looks pretty “fly.”
Multicultural Greek Council: Penn Relay’s Step Show
Some unsung Greek Groups
Pull off a super sweet show
Hands clap and feet stomp
Keynotes A Capella: A Midspring Night’s Dream
The new group in town
Presents their first full concert
Shakespeare puns are key
Penn Ballet: White Swan
Graceful as the birds
Pointed toes and pirouettes
Tutus and spandex Read the rest of this entry »
Fact of Penn life: if you make eye contact with anyone on Locust, you’re getting a flyer stuffed in your hand. At least you have a good supply of emergency notepads/paper planes/places to throw your gum? Luckily some of us actually read the flyers for you. All we have to say is GET YO EARS AND STOMACHS READY.
International Relations Student Association BYO Crawl
Meet up at Saxby’s
Coffee then Indian food?
Counterparts Spring Show: “He Doesn’t Even Go Here!”
Mean Girls references galore
You know you love them. Read the rest of this entry »
This just in, our in-high-demand Locust Flaikus were sabotaged today. We have eye-witness reports that Locust Walk suffered a new kind of infestation: ART VENDORS. Only one flyer survived the madness, so it looks like they win these Hunger Games.
Sigma Psi Zeta Presents Rouge
Tonight maybe go
downtown to the Roxxy, yo
Bring your ID though
…that’s all, folks!
Lots of shows this weekend! Possibly because everyone wants to squeeze their events in before the fling pandemonium starts. Here’s our weekly guide to what you’re missing when you
shove politely ignore the kid thrusting a flyer in your face:
Take Back The Night
Breaking the silence
Protesting on College Green
Speak out with candles
Penn Jazz presents: Swingin’ at the Vatican with Pope Francis Sinatra
Come hear some smooth jazz
And apparently the Pope?
Didn’t know he played!
Read the rest of this entry »
Spring at last(?)! Nice weather = the perfect time for (avoiding) flyer-ers. Luckily we got you covered.
BBB Society: Up In Smokes
A capella Night
Smokey Joe’s Thursday Quizzo
CityStep Presents: Battle of the Dance
Fratty kids get down
All-night bogey at Blockley
Chestnut’s kinda far… Read the rest of this entry »