Locust FlaikusNovember 21, 2013 at 1:54 pm

Locust Flaikus

Locust FlaikusAfter years of agonizing research, we’ve finally solved Ego’s perennial question.  In a shocking twist of fate, scientists have confirmed that there are three kinds of people at Penn—those who love flyers, those who hate flyers, and those who have an unstoppable urge to write haikus about flyers.  We are in the latter camp.

We know what you’re thinking—enough scholarly discourse, bring on the poetry! Ok, ok, we’ll indulge you just this once.

Penn Singers Presents: Thoroughly Modern Millie

We tried out for this.
They cast us as a coat rack.
Come see our debut!

Penny Loafers Fall Show: Abercrombeat and Pitch

We lold at the theme.
The show is close to Chilis.
Fajita-rita.

Off the Beat Presents: Technicolor

Sceney aca group.
Singing J.T.  Well be there.
CRY ME A RIIIIIVA!

Arts House Dance Company and Penn Masala Present: Flappers and Falsettos

Already sold out
Aca-dance group love baby
Hear our falsetto.

The Excelano Project Presents: Raindance

The best poetry
Except for one fatal flaw,
No Locust Flaikus.

Locust FlaikusNovember 14, 2013 at 3:23 pm

Locust Flaikus

1749e14e5c44b95a5910c1d7e0abdeedFlyerers, we commend you on your commitment to your causes. Standing out in the cold takes chutzpah! Can’t say we’re gonna come to your events, but you have earned our respect.

West Philly Swingers present: The Adventures of Superlead and Wonderfollow

We don’t really get
The title of your show but
Can’t go wrong with swing!

SPEC Concerts presents: The Neighbourhood

Dark pop band of dudes
SPEC is redeeming itself
Concert on Friday

Penn Players presents: Assassins

Sondheim is a boss
Watch ‘em try to shoot the prez
Break a leg, Players!

More Flyer Themed Zen

Locust FlaikusOctober 31, 2013 at 12:19 pm

Locust Flaikus

Locust FlaikusClubs flyering on Locust this week: you’ve been tricked.  You thought we were normal Penn students traipsing down Locust in search of something to do this weekend, but we were actually journalists taking your flyers to create this juicy collection of poems.  Call us Kate Taylor or something–just kidding, please don’t.

Strictly Funk presents: Dante’s Inferno

This week, Iron Gate:
The only Penn kids with swag
Gonna be hot, y’all!

Sparks Dance Company Presents: “Cirque du Sparks”

Another dance show
But this has bearded ladies
JK.  We wish, doe.

Counterparts Fall Show: Private ‘Parts

The boy handing out
This flyer was really cute.
Show your “Private Parts.”

TRIHOP for St. Jude’s

Pancakes delivered
We wish this were every week.
Insert Tridelt joke?

Locust FlaikusOctober 24, 2013 at 2:11 pm

Locust Flaikus

Locust FlaikusWhat’s a kid got to do to get a flyer around here? This week, we were practically begging you to hand us flyers, while you stood and chatted in your little “clubs.”

Anyways, here are the flyers we DID manage to get, translated into Flaiku.

SAS Presents: Nightmare on SAS Street

Halloween spirit
Dancing to foreign music
What’s there not to like?

APO Presents: The Running Dead Zombie 5K 

Practice running for
The zombie apocalypse
Zombies provided?

SPEC Presents: Chance the Rapper’s Social Experiment Tour 

Chance comes to Penn to
Spit mad rhymes and drop dope beats
Year of Sound goes on

Bloomers Presents: The Bad, The Bad, and the Bad 

Don’t mess with these chicks
Gonna tell you tons of jokes
And make you like it

Onda Latina and Yalla Present: The Grand Illusion 

Fulfill your need for
Salsa and mysticism
And swiveling hips

Locust FlaikusOctober 17, 2013 at 6:43 pm

Locust Flaikus

Locust Flaikus

It’s the Return of the Flaikus! We know you missed your weekly flaiku dose even more than you missed the flyers themselves.

Here’s what’s happening this week for those of you who haven’t been strolling down Locust.

SPEC Presents Mount Kimbie, A Sol Mechanic, and Dream Safari

Oh thank god it’s an
English post-dubstep duo
SPEC fills a void

Chisino 2013 

Have a blast, splash cash
Make dreams come true for small kids
Cut for Bieber ends

Mask and Wig Presents: A State of Confucian 

With puns a-plenty
And tap dancing dudes in drag
Let’s all pa-GO-da

Alpha Kappa Delta Phi Presents: Coffee House

Hella food and dance
For breast cancer awareness
Asians provide all

HSC/YJA’s Annual Navratri Garba

Become more cultured
Hitting sticks with Indians
But please not on them

Locust FlaikusApril 25, 2013 at 10:16 am

Locust Flaikus

Locust FlaikusYou may think that with classes ending and the school year coming to a close, Penn’s student groups would also be packing it in for the summer. However, if this week’s flyers are any indication, the weekend has big things in store for the performers’ closest friends the entire student body. So, put away your textbooks and shut down your laptops because this line up looks pretty “fly.”

Multicultural Greek Council: Penn Relay’s Step Show

Some unsung Greek Groups
Pull off a super sweet show
Hands clap and feet stomp

Keynotes A Capella: A Midspring Night’s Dream

The new group in town
Presents their first full concert
Shakespeare puns are key

Penn Ballet: White Swan

Graceful as the birds
Pointed toes and pirouettes
Tutus and spandex Read the rest of this entry »

Locust FlaikusApril 18, 2013 at 3:16 pm

Locust Flaikus

Locust FlaikusFact of Penn life: if you make eye contact with anyone on Locust, you’re getting a flyer stuffed in your hand. At least you have a good supply of emergency notepads/paper planes/places to throw your gum? Luckily some of us actually read the flyers for you. All we have to say is GET YO EARS AND STOMACHS READY.

                                   International Relations Student Association BYO Crawl

   Meet up at Saxby’s
Coffee then Indian food?
Bad combination.

Counterparts Spring Show: “He Doesn’t Even Go Here!”

Support Counterparts!
Mean Girls references galore
You know you love them. Read the rest of this entry »

Locust FlaikusApril 11, 2013 at 3:10 pm

Locust Flaikus: SABOTAGED

Locust FlaikusThis just in, our in-high-demand Locust Flaikus were sabotaged today. We have eye-witness reports that Locust Walk suffered a new kind of infestation: ART VENDORS. Only one flyer survived the madness, so it looks like they win these Hunger Games.

                                                                                Sigma Psi Zeta Presents Rouge

Tonight maybe go
downtown to the Roxxy, yo
Bring your ID though

…that’s all, folks!

Locust FlaikusApril 4, 2013 at 10:10 am

Locust Flaikus

Locust Flaikus

Lots of shows this weekend! Possibly because everyone wants to squeeze their events in before the fling pandemonium starts. Here’s our weekly guide to what you’re missing when you shove politely ignore the kid thrusting a flyer in your face:

Take Back The Night

Breaking the silence
Protesting on College Green
Speak out with candles

Penn Jazz presents: Swingin’ at the Vatican with Pope Francis Sinatra

Come hear some smooth jazz
And apparently the Pope?
Didn’t know he played!

Read the rest of this entry »

Locust FlaikusMarch 28, 2013 at 2:20 pm

Locust Flaikus

Locust FlaikusSpring at last(?)! Nice weather = the perfect time for (avoiding) flyer-ers. Luckily we got you covered.

BBB Society: Up In Smokes

A capella Night
Smokey Joe’s Thursday Quizzo
Not aca-awkward

CityStep Presents: Battle of the Dance

Fratty kids get down
All-night bogey at Blockley
Chestnut’s kinda far… Read the rest of this entry »