Ready, Set, Register!

And here’s a friendly reminder that the semester is way too close to being over: advanced registration for the Sumer and Fall starts today. It’s open until April 4.

Finally Fulfilling Your Bagel Needs

For too long we’ve put up with Metro’s hard-as-a-rock bagels and the unbearable lines (and even worse service) at Einstein. So we were excited when we passed this sign outside of Capogiro today. Still a little skeptical, we did some investigating – and it turns out the bagel fairies have finally decided to bless Penn’s campus! Capogiro pulled out the big guns and is now offering New York’s iconic H&H Bagels in various flavors. To top it off, they’re serving them with a variety of spreads and toppings – including organic peanut butter and avacado. All we can say is thank you, Capogiro. THANK. YOU.

Secret Penn Facts: Hill House Edition

Via Hill College House’s Wikipedia page, we dug up this gem of a fact: “In common with other buildings constructed at the height of the Cold War, the basement of Hill contains a fallout shelter, which links to the University’s utility tunnels.” According to a 1996 DP article, “The Geology Department has used it for rock storage, Hill residents have filled it with personal belongings and several escaped pets reportedly call the tunnel home.” Charming.

Because we more than occasionally browse Penn Wikipedia pages.

Street Missed You! And Is Jealous Of Your Tan.

Welcome back, dear readers, from your far off beaches and emerald-clad day drinking. Welcome back from your villas, your cruise ships, your volunteer high-horses and your parent’s couches. Welcome back to the grim (but Spring-ish!) clutches of reality.

We could dwell on the impending doom of finals and graduation and internships and cankles, but to be honest we’d rather talk about ourselves. And thank goodness, because this week’s issue of Street is anything but grim. Our feature is the story of Giovanni’s Room, the country’s oldest gay book store, and its fight for first acceptance and now survival. Food gives us the granola bar lowdown, Music helps you find a summer job in the Music industry and Bobby Valentino checks in with a post- Spring Break message to the bodacious shorties among you. Ronald Jordache (yes, Jordache!) Wynn of Mask & Wig is Ego of the Week, and of course there’s the usual gossip (omgbestbreakever), reviews and general wonderfulness.

Pick up the issue! Or download the .pdf. Regardless: our weekly Writers’ Meetings will resume tonight, 6:30 p.m. at 4015 Walnut. If you have any interest in contributing to Street, stop on by!!

SPEC Likes It Doggie Style

SPEC finally announced the final two artists for this year’s Fling concert: LA-based rapper Snoop Dogg will be headlining, and fellow Californian rapper Shwayze will open for Kid Cudi.

According to a press release, SPEC “chose 3 hip-hop artists because students have responded well to the dance party vibe that shows have had in the past.”

For ticket and event information, see after the break.

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Wharton Seeking High Students

What about the Midbest?

Hey, here’s one summer internship you might qualify for! This Google Ad for an “Ivy League program at Wharton for high students” was spotted yesterday on the DP’s homepage (whattup, tipster Corey!). Seriously, folks – it’s like they try to make it easy for us! What’s next? A class called Perform Anal? An internet-scam-like email from the Provost? Oh wait…

Was This E-Mail From The Provost All You Hoped It Would Be?

Today was the best day for Seniors! It all started with an e-mail from the Office of the Provost with the subject, “Was Penn all you hoped it would be? Tell us! Take the Senior Survey.” Right off the bat, they baited us with a depressing use of the past tense, three different types of punctuation in one subject line, and a chance to take a critical look at our regrets from the past four years. But wait, there’s more! Turns out there is a major incentive for taking this survey, which takes a whopping “less than thirty minutes.” For every senior who completes it, $1 will be donated to the Seniors for the Penn Fund.

Hold on a second, Provost Vincent Price and Vice Provost Andrew Binns. Is this some type of internet scam? What’s next? You tell us to click on George Bush with a boxing glove cursor and promise us an iPod if we aim correctly? Promise us $1,000,000 for being the three hundredth Penn student to open your e-mail? Unfortunately we were unable to complete the survey due to severe, severe boredom, so there’s really no way of knowing.

The only question that really got us thinking was, “Would you encourage a high school senior who resembles you when you were a high school senior to attend Penn?” It wasn’t an option, oddly enough, but we would have answered “A high school senior with a face like that and a booty that does that belongs in Hollywood.”

Side x Side: Things We Realized While In Mexico

Mexican Alley x Pine Arms

Psst, PostSecret

While you were getting that first sunburn of spring break, Penn was busy on the internet with a PostSecret cameo. For those who’ve missed out, the site is like Shoutouts, but to the entire world, more emo, and entirely less fun. Application fail!

Tom Green On Campus

We heard a while back that Tom Green was coming to Penn to perform at SPEC and Mask and Wig’s ComFest last night. You can read about the actual event in today’s DP – but we’re more interested in hearing about Tom’s night after the show. Word is the comedian got his drink on with the Mask and Wig kids at Blarney post-show before heading to an off campus after-party where we hear Tom enjoyed some Green (see what we did there?). Later on he was spotted at Philly Diner where tipster Christian Lunoe snagged this pic. Yeah, we know it’s not the best camera work around…would you buy that the blurriness symbolizes his state of mind? No? Send in more photos if you got ‘em!

PennCard Access Codes Change

Sometimes we forget the UA does things besides film cheesy videos and make amendments to a Constitution we never knew existed. Things like heighten security and privacy measures – all for you! The most recent enhancement? PennCard Access Codes, the number you punch in before you enter Penn residential buildings, will no longer be the last four digits of students’ Social Security numbers. Rather, students will be assigned a random four-digit code and will have the ability to change it to something easier to remember. And if you’re up to the challenge of decoding new PennPortal, existing PennCard Access Codes can now be changed under “Privacy Settings”.

So what does this mean for you? We’re still trying to figure out what in the world we could do if we got our hands on half of someone’s SSN anyways. But hey, at least now stumbling into the Quad should be a lot less complicated!

Hey Rotunda, Way To Rep The Illadelph

Dr. Dog, a West Philly-based folk/rock/”The Beatles … if they had started recording again in the new millennium” band that everyone seems to have “heard once, maybe”, is headlining tonight’s SPEC Jazz and Grooves show at the Rotunda. War on Drugs guitarist and Philadelphia local Kurt Vile is opening the 7:30 p.m. show.

Sounds like the perfect (random, but cheap) study break to us! Tickets are $5 at the door.

Drive Us Crazy

While the majority of our school is frantically putting the finishing touches on Cabo/Acapulco/New Jersey diets, one last exciting opportunity appeared in our inboxes today. Good news for late folks that still don’t have spring break plans- you can now be the proud driver of an Alternate Spring Break vehicle! What could be more thrilling than driving do-gooders around North Carolina or Virgina?

No application necessary, so we’ll be taking that as no experience or driving ability necessary either.

The icing on the cake comes to the tune of $75 off these two ASB trips. So you can pay less to schlep people. Sweet?

Full email after the jump.

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2013 Discovers The Internet (Featuring Other Class Boards)

Class Boards- somewhere in the Internet.

While you were busy discovering super drugs, being on the Real World, or speaking at graduation, the freshman class board was toiling away at the brand-new 2013 website.

This development caused us to do some deep soul-searching. If the freshmen can have a class website, are there others too? What kind of mystery lies within the Class Board-osphere?

Lucky for you, we bravely ventured into this digital unknown to bring all you need to know about these hidden gems. Our meaningless point system is back in full glory after the jump; now that the Olympics are over, it’s the most exciting competition ever!

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Got An Android Phone? We’ve Got An App

If you have an Android phone, we’re proud to announce the release of an Under The Button app! It’s available for download now! The DP has one too.

For those of the Apple persuasion, the iPhone app is in the process of being approved and should be available in a few weeks or sooner. BlackBerry folks, we’re working on it.