Gotham glory days

Once upon a time, a super-cool New York-y little bookshop had to close and everyone was wistful and sad about it.  No, we’re not talking about our favorite movie, You’ve Got Mail–NYC literary landmark Gotham Book Mart shut its doors in 2007.  The Inquirer and the New York Times are now reporting that the store’s enviable book collection has been donated to Penn.  Highlights of the collection include Truman Capote’s and Anais Nin’s personal libraries; Allen Ginsburg worked there and Jackie O. shopped there.  Which is to say, it sounds like it was a very cool little shop.

The donation was anonymous, but the collection is reportedly valued at several million dollars.  The NYT seems to think the gift came from Leonard A. Lauder, Penn alum and Gotham fairy godmother. Whoever it came from, the collection will fit in nicely with our library’s existing rareties, which include two of Shakespeare’s First Folios and several volumes bound in human skin.

We’ve made the following resolutions on behalf of Penn:

• We will only waste our time on the good a capella groups.
• We will side with Insomnia in the cookie war Cupmakes is looking to start.
• We will dutifully visit Pottruck.
• We will do all the assigned reading.
• We will save money on laundry by using the machines in the high rises as opposed to the $1.75 to wash, $1.50 to dry off-campus nightmares.
• We will take cabs less often.
• We will answer e-mails promptly.
• We will hope for a good commencement speaker and Spring Fling band.
• We will not let the return of Lost govern our social lives.
• We will not visit the Bridge on Friday or Saturday nights to pay full price for mediocre movies.

Got an addition?  Comment!

However, according to the Times, Penn (along with Stanford, USC and Claremont-McKenna) disagrees with the CB’s decision and is planning to ask students to send all of their scores. Ummmm… good luck with that, Eric Furda. Sure, some schools think this is the College Board’s way of capitalizing on the neurosis of overachieving students in pursuit of that elusive 1600 2400. And maybe it is. But this is also a policy that is shared by that other Annoying College Test the ACT, and one that really does ultimately benefit students.

What do you think? Hit us up in the comments.

Yes, we here at UTB just love Tina Fey. And apparently we are not alone: the Associated Press just voted her as their Entertainer of the Year.

While it may not be the Time magazine cover she truly deserves (but really, tick tock), we’re proud of you, Tina. Just keep the jokes comin’.

We challenge you to get this out of your head. (UTB step!) But really, kudos to this guy for making us laugh and causing us to imagine what it might be like for UPenn to ball through all the frats and sororities on campus. We don’t even know what that would entail, but we like the sound of it. And shout out to Under the Button! Even if it was actually about sex with Amy Gutmann (offering an excellent opportunity to educate us on slant rhyme–thanks anonymous rapper!) we’re just going to take what we can get. And to everyone out there who said “huh?” after listening, Martin Luther King, Jr. did study at Penn briefly while he attended theological seminary. Go, Quaker, go!

But really, is that squeaky voice saying peek-a-boo? Seriously? Genius.

As bona fide college students, we simply can’t ignore a novel that heralds itself as “a sharply observed portrait of campus life and all the many pressures–economic, academic, social–that are funneled into its culture.” A college-centric novel promises to be either really juicy or really lame, Tom Wolfe’s I am Charlotte Simmons being the gold standard for lameness. Wolfe’s book (which, ooooh, was partially based on research completed at Penn’s very own St. A’s) fell flat because each page couldn’t help but reveal how scandalized Wolfe was by “kids these days,” with their sex and drugs and loose morals (all of which provided the author with an excuse to seriously overuse the word “insouciant”). While the main character of Weitz’s book is, regrettably, a tad reminiscent of Charlotte Simmons, College Girl proves itself to be unsentimental, thought-provoking, and really compelling.

Weitz (the wife of director Paul Weitz) sets College Girl at UConn in the early ’90s, a time that seems almost quaint with its lack of cell phones and internet. Main character Natalie Bloom transferred to UConn after two years at a second-rate state school.  She is the youngest of seven siblings and the only one to attend college.  As she begins her senior year, Natalie finds that she still feels isolated and inexperienced compared to her classmates. She spends most of her time alone in the library–until she meets Patrick.  Instead of ignoring male attention as she usually does, this time she allows herself to become infatuated, and thus begins her descent into the seedy underbelly of hooking up, drinking, and drugs.  Sort of.

We come to find out that Patrick is not such a nice guy. The dead giveaway is that he’s a fan of Ayn Rand; for some reason, liking Ayn Rand has come to telegraph douchiness for fictional male characters, in the same way that liking the Grateful Dead makes you a hippie (for corroboration on this, see asshole Robbie in Dirty Dancing). Natalie falls for Patrick, and as he uses her, she wills herself to believe that she’s falling more and more in love. This goes on until you want to smack Natalie, and then goes on some more. It’s infuriating to watch in the same way that it’s infuriating to watch Bella fall stupid-in-love and give up her whole life to be with Edward in the Twilight books—but at least in Twilight, Edward treated Bella well. The same can’t be said of Patrick and Natalie, and sadly, maybe this is what makes their relationship seem more realistic.  A dysfunctional, toxic relationship rings much more true than Edward and Bella-style devotion.  Weitz depicts a pattern that plays itself out over and over, and not just on college campuses: smart people, foolish choices.

College Girl isn’t fun to read in the same way Twilight is—you’ll be absorbed not because it’s exciting, but because it gives you a lot to think about.  It’s not the kind of story that has an agreeable, satisfying arc to it–in fact, it’s really hard to watch Natalie make the choices she does.  Reading her story, you’ll start to see a narrative arc to your own college experiences, and maybe not the one you would have expected.  “Huh,” you’ll think, “economic, academic and social pressures really are funneled into college culture.”  The jacket copy does not lie.

1. For the sister, female cousin or Michael Gold in your life:  Everyone forgets that before Chuck was awesome, he was an attempted date rapist.  Relive the simpler times with Gossip Girl - The Complete First Season on DVD.

2. Naomi and Ely’s No Kiss List is the latest novel from the authors of Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist (which became a movie staring Michael Cera and Kat Dennings, as you’ll recall).  But Naomi and Ely sounds even better (and more realistic) than Nick and Norah because it’s about a love triangle between a girl, her boyfriend, and her gay best friend.  Um, amazing–and the movie can star Kat Dennings and Zac Ephron!  As the gay best friend…you know, playing against type, because he’s the epitome of heterosexuality.

3. Every girl born between roughly 1986 and 1989 has a proprietary relationship with the Olsen twins–we can’t help ourselves from paying attention to who they’re dating (an interchangable series of skeezy club owners and/or scions of rich families), what they’re wearing, and which one is skinnier at any given time (MK was winning for a while but they seem about even now).  Anyway, so the fact that they “wrote” a book this year is kind of ridiculous, but because of our aforementioned obsession, we want it anyway.  It’s called Influence, it features their interviews with famous stylish people like Diane von Furstenberg, and we would absolutely die to have our own copy.

4. Were you aware that Mamma Mia has surpassed Titantic to become the highest grossing film in British history?  Though we enjoyed the movie, some of our friends thought it was worst piece of crap ever, so it’s sensation status across the pond certainly is a testament to…something.  Whatever, you either like it or you don’t.  But we can promise that If you buy it, you’ll have all sorts of interesting thoughts, chief among them that, “haha, the professor from Good Will Hunting has really aged.”  Mamma Mia! The Movie (Two Disc Special Edition) awaits you.

5.  Watching Oprah’s show can be kind of sickening, but reading O, The Oprah Magazine allows you to take in her cheesy “live your best life!” advice in more digestible pieces.  And it’s portable!  We’ve been known to buy a copy of O around midterms to bring to Van Pelt, because during times like that, reading about actor Timothy Hutton’s Aha! Moment (see pg. 57, January O) provides us with some small measure of comfort.  Get a 1-year subscription here.

Since this wishlist is most suited for 12-year-old girls, let us know what we left off in the comments.

Sixty percent of the time, it works every time.

Burger King is all about having it your way spray: the hamburger chain just debuted a line of cologne. I KID YOU NOT, PEOPLE. It’s available online and at Ricky’s NYC, for a mere $4. (Coming soon to Douglas Cosmetics?  We can only hope.)  I implore you to check out its sensual website, firemeetsdesire.com. The fragrance is being marketed as “the scent of seduction, with a hint of flame-broiled meat.” First Penn State perfume, now this… honestly, what’s next?!

Give us your most outrageous scent suggestions in the comments!

The plot of the film is standard–-Milk struggles against impossible odds, and must learn to balance his political aspirations with his personal life–but Milk manages to resonate with viewers despite a lackluster screenplay. The reason for Milk’s success is Penn.  As usual, he completely transforms himself, and his multi-faceted portrayal of Milk may earn him another well-deserved Oscar nod.  A bespectled Emile Hirsch provides some comic relief as smart aleck supporter Cleve Jones, and James Franco turns in a subtle, mature performance as Milk’s first love, Scott Smith. Franco’s Golden Globe nomination might have been for Pineapple Express, but as Smith, Franco is extraordinary.

Milk is especially relevant now, in the wake of the Proposition 8 controversy in California, but it would be a mistake to reduce this movie to one whose value is defined by current events. Milk’s story is timeless, and the stellar cast infuses the film with such pathos that it is impossible not to be moved. Van Sant does his job, and writer Lance Black keeps the story moving, but it is Milk’s cast that make it worthy of a sip, or better yet, a chug.

4/5 stars.

What, like you expected anything else from me?

Editor’s Note:  We have not yet watched the above, but will post in sight unseen with the expectation that it is a video featuring Beyonce, puppies, Beyonce’s puppies, a new breed of puppies called Beyont-zhus, etc. Happy holidays from your friends at UTB.