Man, we haven’t seen an ice menorah that impressive since our beleaguered ancestors were being forced out of frigid Eastern Europe by the Cossack armies! After all, nothing says “Jews, your holiday is over, time for the Christian/secular masses to go apeshit over Christmas for the next month” quite like ice in 50 degree weather. Are the tiki-torches sadder than the menorah itself? Discuss.
Drowning in the escapable stress that is the end-of-semester crunch? Not to worry, because Penn Vet is at it again. Tomorrow from 12 p.m. to 2 p.m., bring your pet to the hospital to get its picture taken with Santa. That’s right. SANTA CLAUS AND A DOG IN THE SAME PICTURE. It’s Santa Paws!
Photo ops cost a mere $10, and all proceeds directly benefit cancer research at Penn Vet. So if you need a soothing break from your mounting anxiety, recognize the potentially cosmic forces behind a partnership of Santa and puppies, or simply appreciate a gentle pun, get in on the good c(l)ause.
Buzz Bissinger, author of the non-fiction book Friday Night Lights is coming to Penn February 17th and 18th. We can only hope he will be bringing Taylor Kitsch along with him. Bissinger will be part of the Kelly Writers House Fellows Program along with two other distinguished writers, Rae Armantrout and T.C. Boyle. The program will include a public reading by each of the three.
Some of us were lucky enough to beat the odds and actually get enrolled in classes for next semester, specifically the Fellows seminar class, which IS STILL OPEN btw. In the course, students study the works of each writer and then get to have an in-class discussion with them when they attend campus. If you’re still stuck on PennInTouch clicking refresh though, keep at it, “Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose,” right?
Hello lovely gentlemen: the Vagina Monologues want you! Go celebrate sexual Wednesday with VagMons, PCUW, ASAP, and 1 in 4 as they host “A Call to Men”, an event dedicated to examining and challenging the socialization of men. Ted Bunch, co-founder of A Call to Men, will be speaking about male social norms, culture, and traditional images of manhood.
As if the promo’s charming lads haven’t excited you enough (check your pulse), the event supports a national movement to end violence.
When: Wednesday, December 4th 6:30-8:30PM
Where: JMHH G06
Who: Men (see title) and women.
Welcome back pal. We hope you rested up on your measly two days off because there are (sigh) three Mondays to go before semester’s end.
[Al Roker voice] Until then, here’s what’s HapPENNing in your neck of the woods.
Today: Strategies for Vocal Delivery
Learn talk good.
Wednesday: Kumar Barve
The first Indian-American ever elected to a state legislature will talk about how the struggle has been real.
Also on Wednesday: Rock with Jocks
C’mon ya nerds, now’s your chance to get in wit da jocks. Real Penn athletes, yo! swoon
Thursday: You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown
The comic strip, now a musical.
Saturday: PennRec Bocce Ball Tournament
Get out there ‘n’ knock some balls, ya sonofabocce.
In conjunction with One Day, the aptly named Hillel event that brought us this website you should not open in class with your volume on (sorry Professor Apicella), Matisyahu is bringing his reggae singing, hipster Jew self to The Blockley on December 4th. Click the above link for tickets and backstage passes to
smoke sing with the man who even semi-beardless can make all the ladies swoon (here’s a before pic). We recommend you get yourself into whatever state he appears to be in before watching this slightly disturbing promo-video. Is he really into light, or just subtly calling us all losers?
Finally you’re back on campus, free from the plant-from-Jumanji-like grasp of your mom and dad, who say the darndest things. Lucky for you, UTB staff spent our Thanksgivukkah writing down every adorable/weird/creepy quote from mommas, grandpas and drunk uncles alike. Here they are, for your reading pleasure! Leave your most quotable relatives in the comments.
“Time to slice the twerky!” -Dad
Dad: Touch that steak. Now, how does it feel compared to that one? Does it feel more rare?
Son: I can’t tell.
Dad. You’re worthless.
‘Tis the season to be jolly, ’tis the season to be popping Molly!” -Mom
“I’m sure she knows something about hookup culture. She does go to Penn.” -Mom
“I just can’t believe you would do weed.” -Mom
When you came-to after your Thanksgiving food-bender, surrounded by dirty plates, half-eaten pie crusts, and piles of gnawed-on turkey bones, you may have had a moment of regret for your indulgence. If you’re anything like us, your next thought was, “If only True-Blood-star and massive-muscle-man Joe Manganiello were here to give me some workout tips!” Well today’s your lucky day, kids!
He’ll be at the Penn Bookstore next Monday to talk about his latest book. It’s about time– we’ve been tryna get swoll for ages, and with pecs like those, Joe seems like the perfect workout buddy. If you’re interested in attending, you can get more information here.