If you thought it couldn’t get any worse that “Penn’s Stepping Up” (the heinous Penny Loafers-helmed disaster of a promo video for the Making History campaign), THINK AGAIN. The ridiculous factor has been upped in unimaginable ways with “Time to Shine,” a new single by Sean Altman of a group called “Rockapella,” which is climbing its way to the top of the A-Gut charts.

Filled with such poetic themed lyrics as “a red and blue flame burning with pride” and “Penn’s mighter than the sword,” the song is otherwise a vague pop anthem about spreading the light to enlighten every mind and capturing the future. Kudos on the catchy factor, however, because we cannot get this song out of our heads for the life of us. If the Locust T2S makeover wasn’t enough of an indicator, Team Amy is PROUD of its fundraising success. We have a feeling John Legend and/or Train will rock out to this jam on Friday…and the only cure to all the cringing will be “Drops of Jupiter.”

Believe us, we couldn’t be prouder of Madame President’s fundraising success, surpassing the goal and making over $4.3 billion for Penn’s Making History campaign. And with all the hullabaloo surrounding the Fling concert, many students didn’t attend (or don’t remember) Friday night at Franklin Field. So we’re extra-pumped for John Legend and Train at Penn Park (fo free!) this Friday.

That said…Locust has gotten QUITE the makeover today, and we’re not sure how to feel about its new decked-out Time to Shine look. Our beloved walk feels less like the architecturally stunning main artery of campus, what with its multicolored kites and massive circular signs for each of Penn’s schools. So, is it all just a bit too extravagant?

Another round of voting has come and gone in the epic saga known as Penn Madness. While others complain about their “sports teams” losing in the NCAA March Madness, we here at UTB are mourning the dismissal of Amy Gutmann’s Red Suit from the competition. Vote now as our illustrious (and illustrated!) Final Four battle it out for a spot in the finale:

Round 1 voting was dramatic, to say the least. We bid adieu to such fan favorites as Amy G’s black suit and John Legend & A TRAIN. That’s the way the cookie crumbles in Penn MADNESS. Cast your vote in Round 2 NOW to ensure your fave’s path to victory.

It’s that time of year again! While we salute those of you who partake in March Madness in the traditional sense, sometimes bringing the bracket a little closer to home is nice. (The Quakers aren’t in the tourney this year, are they?) Regardless of whether or not you made your predictions in the DP’s Bracket Challenge, UTB has an eclectic assortment of eateries, emails and A-Guts to battle it out to the bitter end. This is strictly biz, we don’t play around – a winner will be crowned within mere days. (Will it beat the Fling announcement?) Click the jump to meet our glamorous contestants and cast your votes for Round 1! Read the rest of this entry »

Believe it or not, this isn’t a photo of the Penn Band trying to recruit during NSO in 1952. This is actually a photo of a protest to the proposed extreme budget cuts in Penn’s School of Education that year. The Musical Education Student’s Association rallied in front of Eisenlohr Hall (then an academic building, now Amy G’s humble abode) on June 2^nd 1952.

The fire alarm just went off during the president’s alumni dinner soiree, sending dozens of confused former Quakers out to the College Green. No, it wasn’t A-Gutt heating up the room with her golden locks. This photo and our super secret (somewhat fictional) sources tell us it was the sneaky Penn Quaker that set off the alarm in a thinly veiled attempt to steal the presidency. Yeah, he’s just as creepy as he looks.

You probably couldn’t tell from its old name, but you definitely should have been able to recognize A-Gutt’s current crib from the picture. Originally built in 1910 for Otto and Josephine Eisenlohr, the owners of Cinco and Henrietta cigars, this Beaux Arts-style mansion housed the Graduate School of Education for a while before finally becoming the home for Penn presidents. 10 bucks to anyone who documents Amy smoking a cigar.

Celebrities: they’re just like us. When she’s not busy ruling the world/being fabulous/rubbing elbows with the equally fabulous, Amy Gutmann takes time to hang with mere muggles! Pictured here is A-Gutt taking her three adorable dogs for a walk down Locust this past weekend. Sporting a bright, white coat and some kickin’ running shoes, Amy proves that it is possible to look totally chic carrying a Pooper-Scooper.

He’s certainly no A-Gutt, but he’ll do. Pictured here is Thomas Sovereign Gates, the very first President of the University, named in 1930 (bet you didn’t know that). His intelligence and leadership proved indispensable at a time when our nation was in social and political turmoil. Following the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, Gates oversaw the use of the university campus as a training ground for American troops. We wouldn’t expect anything less of a Penn prez.