Friends, family, and criminals alike…we bring you the next installment of UTB‘s very own crime log. Here are this week’s highlights:

Nov. 23 – A man unaffiliated with the University, 44, reported that unauthorized charges were made on credit cards at Philly Diner, located at 3901 Walnut St., and cash was taken from the store’s register at about 7:45 a.m.

Again?

Nov. 27 – A man unaffiliated with the University, 63, reported that someone stole his CD player from his secured vehicle on the 4300 block of Chestnut Street at 10:30 p.m.

Apparently, CD players still exist. Did you also lose your Walkman?

In UTB’s newest feature, Button Blotter, we note West Philadelphia’s biggest and baddest (okay, at least the most amusing) crimes, as published in our favorite source of legitimate campus news (also known as our parent publication), The Daily Pennsylvanian.

Check out our first find:

…guess we were wrong when we thought counterfeit referred to fake ID’s.