Keep an eye out for something unbelievable…

If you’re in the Class of 2013 or 2014, why are you online? Skimmer’s still going strong until 7PM! So go on and grab yourself major freebies! (Stock up on some of that controversial Vita Coco before it hits the list next to Four Loko.) For the oldies and newbies missin’ out, here are a few pictures you can live through vicariously. Read the rest of this entry »

Do you know E.O.? You know, Ernest Owens, the freshman running for Class of 2014 President? You should.

This overeager candidate first made waves at Penn by sending out an…interesting e-mail (Hey, we didn’t say “obnoxious.”) about why he’s the perfect one for the job, then proceeded to spam Facebook with his many requests for his fellow classmates to vote for him. But then, his journey for the title of Grand Poobah of the 2014-ers took a nasty turn. Let’s get acquainted with this “…innocent candidate in a trial against a spiteful jackass” and learn why he’s having a meltdown of epic proportions.

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Actually, that’s not what this is about, but they do! A bunch of 2014′ers (yes, prefrosh) sent us evidence of their first exposure to listserv abuse, before they even make it to NSO. A staffer from the Pre-Orientation programs office (PennQuest, etc.) sent an email to the incoming class reminding them to sign up for the programs by 4 p.m. today.

Predictably, a few of confused prefrosh sent responses to the whole list (of 2500 people) and off went the emails, slowly chugging along. One kid on the list even declared he actually wasn’t coming to Penn (after this ordeal, we’d imagine he’s not the only one rethinking his decision.

Also, some of those email signatures are not going to fly next year.

The rest of the stupidity, after the jump.

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The new babiest of baby Quakers officially find out today if they’re one of the 14.2% Dean Furda let into the class of 2014. Apparently this year was the selectivest ever! Congratulations, kiddos.

And 2013… congrats on your new middle child syndrome. Ain’t nobody care bout ‘chu!

As of 3 p.m. today, Early Decision applicants for the Class of 2014 have officially been notified if they made the cut. Of course, a Facebook group already exists. And of course, its creator is Matt Rosler (the DuelingTampons.com dude who has likely Facebook requested you more than once).

Congrats, kids! And now, we feel old.