Attention seniors! It’s your last football game ever and apparently some fancy stuff will be going down at halftime to salute you. C’mon— it’s your last chance to wear obnoxious Penn scarves and not look as obnoxious (everyone knows it’s too hot in the Palestra for them), last shot to throw toast and last go at closing your eyes and pretending you go to a raging state school. The weather will even be crisp and beautiful (see above) for seniors and underclassmen alike.
If you’re really feeling lazy, follow our friends at the Buzzfor important sports info all day. But go! School spirit is cute, and Cornell sucks. Kickoff is at 1 p.m.
We knew we were going to have at least a share of the Ivy League title after today’s game against Cornell, but who could have predicted how much we were going to dominate? We won 34-0 and steamrolled the Big Red like we were the Big Green. If this were a video game, Cornell would have “accidentally” unplugged the X-Box long before the final whistle because it was pretty embarrassing.
Now, did we predict this at the beginning of the season? Of course. But it didn’t make the victory, or the fun slide under the barricade down to the field, any less awesome. So great job, football team. Also great job, security staff, for making sure we couldn’t climb on the goal posts. That would not have ended well!
Today our friends at Cornell found out something kind of bad happened. By “something kind of bad happened” we mean that their “confidential personal information was stolen.” And by “friends” we mean “45,000 current and former staff and students.” Yeah, that sucks. According to the website Cornell set up to deal with this crisis:
In June 2009, a Cornell-owned computer that contained a large amount of administrative data was stolen. Our review of a current backup of the files on the system revealed that confidential personal data for about 45,000 current and former staff and students, and some dependents, had been present.
The good news is that the data hasn’t been misused…yet. And that Cornell is picking up the tab for any and all “credit reporting, credit monitoring and identity theft restoration services.” Here’s to hoping Penn has a more secure system.
Penn’s Ivy cousin Cornell gets namedropped left and right on The Office, but because this blog is called Under The Button (as opposed to “Inside The Gorge” or something Ithaca-y like that), it doesn’t usually warrant a post. On Thursday night’s episode, however, Penn finally got a mention! And it wasn’t a lame joke at Penn’s expense, as many Penn pop cultural references tend to be, so double hooray!
So here’s the backstory: Andy (Ed Helms) and Dwight (Rainn Wilson) are bitter rivals: both of them really want to be the boss’s pet and they also share a bizarre ardor for Angela, the uptight accountant. Andy’s main bragging right is the fact that he went to Cornell, which he mentions as frequently as possible. One day a fed-up Dwight comes into the office clad in a Cornell sweatshirt–Andy is pissed that Dwight’s mocking the “sacred colors,” but Dwight says it’s ok, because he’s actually applying to Cornell. Later in the break room, Dwight asks a fuming Andy, “So, how do you think we’re gonna do against Penn this year?” We loved that Penn got mentioned, and we especially loved how well-placed it was–as a Scrantonite, Dwight would definitely be familiar with Penn, the closest Ivy.
Check out the scene, which comes about six minutes into the episode:
Edit: Ahem. A pedantic reader writes in to set the record straight: “actually, cornell is the closet ivy to scranton. followed by princeton. columbia and penn are exactly tied for third place at 126 miles from scranton. check it on google maps.”