Sometimes, the people who post on Craigslist aren’t looking to engage in some morally reprehensible sexual act. Sometimes, these people aren’t even Penn professors looking for a date. Yep, the Craigslist-ers of the world can, in fact, make very touching posts. We’re using “touching” in a completely non-physical way here.
When we came up with the name of this blog that you’re reading, we thought it sounded funny and subversive and a little naughty. You know, since it (not so) subtly references the whole having sex under the Button thing.
So we were pleased when this Craigslist Casual Encounters tip popped up in our inbox, courtesy of DP columnist Lindsey Stull:
Well-endowed and dirty (blonde)? We’re sold. This is almost better than Missed Connections!
Going to Penn doesn’t preclude us from being party to Craigslist sleaziness. Join Albert Sun as he skims casual encounters, missed connections and beyond in search of the most ridiculous Penn-related posts. For more, slightly NSFC (Not Safe for Class) , look after the jump.
Craigslist is a breeding ground for all that is sketchy, and personals seem as good a place to start as any. We understand wanting to find somebody, but how these people think they could be remotely successful with these atrocious ads is beyond me. To wit:
UPENN GIRLS CLICK HERE – 25 (PHILY)
Reply to: firstname.lastname@example.org [?]
Date: 2009-02-12, 11:51PM EST
First post ever to craigslist…kinda just doing it for shits and giggles b/c i just broke it off with my girlfriend.
I want a UPENN girl because I know Penn is very selective and I figure they have more money and resources than i do to pick a good girl.
Some Penn kids are planning a spooky event at the Rotunda for February’s upcoming Friday the 13th. Think The Craft…goes to college! According to the craigslist ad, they’re looking “for paranormal specialists (i.e. psychics, fortune-tellers, tarot card readers, ghost hunters, voodoo experts, spectral enthusiasts…) and people who have been contacted by the spirit realm.” Psychic mediums, that’s your cue!
As much as we at Under the Button would love for you to spend all of your time surfing the awesome posts of this awesome blog, the blogosphere has so, so, so much to offer. Therefore, in the spirit of destroying everyone’s productivity during the lull between midterms and finals, I would like to share a fun and interesting blog I stumbled upon a few days ago: Craigslisting.
In Craigslisting, Portland resident and self-described student, freelance writer, videographer, and comedian Adrian Chen navigates his way through the hilarious, bizarre, and wonderful world of Craigslist. Basically, Adrian and fellow guest writers find amusing posts on Craiglist and respond back with ridiculous proposals/inquiries/confessions. I’ve only had time to browse the first page, and I am already laughing hysterically as the writers pose as “an Assistant Director of Marketing for Happy’Uns Country Bakery” to request permission to use a cat for its new mascot, attempt to trade a 3 piece “bedroom set” for a Playstation 3, and confess their love to a “28 year old new Parisian” who “love[s] sex.”
Just when I thought Craigslist was funny enough on its own.
If you give a mouse of cookie, he’s going to want a glass of milk to go with it. And if it’s midterms, then we’re going to want to procrastinate by trawling through Craigslist’s Missed Connections. Tales of unrequited love just seem to inspire brilliance. But they also provoke our sympathies too — especially this one that took place in the food court formerly known as the Moravian Cafe on Thursday. If the mystery man in grey straight jeans is a Penn student — which we expect he is because that describes every male English major we know — then help this girl out! She even included a winking emoticon in her plea; if that isn’t love, we don’t know what is.
We like reading Missed Connections on craigslist when we’re bored, and while we haven’t done a statistical analysis of this or anything, it seems like a lot of them take place at the Green Line Cafe. This kind of makes sense, since the Green Line is the de facto official hangout of West Philly hipsters, and the only thing hipsters love more than independent coffee shops is craigslist. So, to all of you sitting at the Green Line, silently yearning after one another, we offer you the same advice we offer to the people that try to use Shoutouts as their own personal risk-free J-date: say something to your object of lust. Out loud.