BREAKING: Any Issues Voting Today?– Both the DP and Penn Democrats have reported that "students are showing up to the polls with their voter registration card, not showing up on the voter rolls, and being turned away." Sources say that voters in Houston and Vance Halls seem to be experiencing the worst of it. Penn Dems recommends staying in line to vote (even if past 8) and filling out the provisional ballot if necessary. Call the voter hotline at (855) 834-VOTE for more information.
If you're still in line, at 6:00 PM free pizza will be on-site at the Houston Hall and 3609 Chestnut polling locations for those waiting -- and there will be DJs there to boot.
[Ed. note: Some content has been edited to update incorrect information.]
Sex Under The Button Is Certifiably Crazy
Since finals are over we don’t even have to feel guilty for reading Buzzfeed’s addictively entertaining time-wasters, and the latest iteration features our favorite campus sculpture. Our own Hillary Reinsberg includes The Button and its lore as one of the craziest college traditions to rock the country, along with less salacious locales to do the dirty like Michigan Stadium and Stanford’s Quad. We’ve always known that we were special!
In Which A Helicopter Parent Tells Us We Have A Drinking Problem
Hey, remember when that bloggy mommy whose daughter is a Penn grad student did that shocking exposé on how Penn is awful at tailgating? Ring any bells? Well Sandy Hingston is back and well on her way to establishing herself as the most out of touch Penn parent in all the interwebs. In the May issue of Philly Magazine, Hingston goes on an extended romp of crazy in her wannabe tell-all “The University of Pennsylvania Has a Drinking Problem.”
Yes, it’s just as ridiculous as it sounds. Sandy, you’re embarrassing yourself again.
Another Alum Making Us Proud By Screwing Up Money Stuff
If you thought Raj Rajaratnam was fun, you’re in for a real treat with this guy. Meet Tyrone L. Gilliams, sketcher extraordinare. He’s been arrested for wire fraud and probably running a Ponzi scheme because one of his clients thought that maybe trips to Miami and Saks receipts were a little suspicious. We can’t say no one saw it coming: the dude, says Dealbreaker, is “an aspiring reality TV star who hired a team of videographers to follow him around. He’s also a hip hop promoter-cum internet pastor-cum “philanthropist.” But best of all, he graduated from Penn in 1990 as a basketball star.
If his company’s website wasn’t sketchy enough for you, here’s some pictures from his birthday party with DJ Khaled. Alums: always putting Penn on the map.
Did y'all feel that? Don't worry, that wasn't an earthquake taking over the east coast. That was just God hugging us tighter.
Update: Oh wow, even DPS was involved. A 5.8? If you say so, guys. Stay safe!
People Who Went To Penn: John Croghan
This time on People that Went to Penn, we’re looking back a couple (hundred) years to one of our most interesting alumni. John Croghan, a graduate of Penn Med Class of ’13 (1813 that is) was the proud owner of the longest cave in the United States. If, like us, you have no idea what/where the longest cave in America is…it’s Mammoth Cave in Kentucky.
Slow Your Roll, Ernest Owens
You may recall Ernest Owens, the power-hungry freshman who went a little craycray over freshman UA elections. Well, he’s back. With a radio show.
Yes, our favorite Penn politician has managed to acquire a show, and is titling it “Ernestly Speaking.” So, in typical Owensian fashion, he’s going all out to promote it. Facebook groups. Innumerable comments on our beloved blog. And, most recently, he did the unthinkable and sent out an e-mail to the listserv of PSCI130- Intro to American Politics. Full e-mail after the jump.
Oh Crap. The Philly Airport Might Get Even Worse.
Dear Philly Airport, this is what you will look like if you continue to suck. Love, UTB.
Philly.com has just informed us of some very unwelcome news: that the Philadelphia International airport is considering making spending cuts and delaying maintenance projects as a result of decreased traffic. The horror! The Airport reported a 6.7% drop in passengers from January to May, which is likely going to result in “deferring some maintenance, using cash reserves, and leaving vacant jobs unfilled.” Road trips home, anyone?