Pictures this: you’re a young, idealistic freshman just trying to find your place at Penn. You hear of all these frats doing “dirty rush,” so when you receive a penis-shaped event invitation, you don’t think twice about showing up to St. A’s in the middle of the night. On the walk there, you pat yourself on the back; you’ve heard A’s is a “cool fraternity,” so you must be cool! All those assholes who called you “nerd” in high school can really suck it now.
You take a deep breath, adjust your bowtie and knock on the door.
“What the fuck are you guys doing?” asks a bewildered resident to the group of boys you’ve come with. You hand them the invite. ”What the fuck is this? We didn’t do this.”