NewsApril 28, 2011 at 5:37 pm

Hey Day Was Wet

Most juniors stayed clean during Hey Day yesterday but these spunky souls (who are you?!) took the plunge to clean themselves off in the Schuylkill River after the festivities. We’re told the police showed up but that didn’t stop these newly crowned seniors from probably catching a disease.

UncategorizedMay 4, 2009 at 2:31 am

Swine Flu Is The New Black

With three probable cases of swine flu (or should we call it the H1N1 virus?) in our fair city, and with the disease circling around us in New York, New Jersey, and Delaware, the raging pandemic is the hottest topic to hit Penn’s campus since… well, meningitis.

Lest you think we here at UTB are going to take this any more seriously than we took “the menge“, we scoured the Internet to find a blog that makes the pain of pork fever all better.

The blog is called Hot Guys in Flu Masks and features — well, actually, that’s just about it. So for all of you sickly single ladies out there who are staying home to avoid the pandemic, now you have something that will make eating that whole pint of Ben and Jerry’s so much better.

UncategorizedApril 28, 2009 at 12:45 pm

This Little Piggy Started A Pandemic

Who, moi?

Who, moi?

Remember when China had that outbreak of bird flu? Yeah, that was fun. Now it’s our turn to have a zoologically-themed flu. Birds ain’t really appropriate for the supersized American population, are they? We needed something more… obese sounding.

Thank god there is a disease called “swine flu.” (It’s unfortunate that there is an outbreak, but you have to admit, the poetic justice is undeniable.) According to the Center for Disease Control’s Twitter — yeah, they’ve got one — there have been 40 confirmed cases. The outbreak primarily in New York, with 28 of the 40 cases being there.

Look’s like the swine flu has the Big Apple in it’s mouth.  But careful, Penn, you know this campus has a penchant for incubating epidemiological disasters