FeaturesOctober 29, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Sandy On The Rocks: A Hurricane Drinking Game

The windows are latched and scotch-taped to perfection and you have enough Pop-Tarts to last for weeks. But now what? No school and the Hurricane Streaking Party at Penn Park isn’t for a few hours. UTB’s got you covered, kids:

  1. Your mom calls (again) to make sure you haven’t died yet. Drink.
  2. UPennAlert. Drink.
  3. Someone says Frankenstorm. Drink.
  4. Someone mentions hurricane drinking. Finish your drink.
  5. Super original, hilarious tweet about procrastinating studying for the next midterm because we have two days off. Take a drink. Two if there’s a hashtag involved.
  6. Ditto with a Day After Tomorrow reference.
  7. OMG soooo crazyyyy pic of empty shelves at CVS oh nooooo. Drink.
  8. Commons starts to sound pretty freakin’ amazing. Vom. Then drink.
  9. Stock up like it’s the apocalypse but then realize that Allegro’s has been open the whole time and there’s still power. Drink.
  10. A Penn Security person bikes past your fourth-floor window, Wizard of Oz style. Two drinks.
  11. Sandy kicks Hill’s ass once and for all and hundreds of Hill refugees flood the West Philly streets. CHUG.
  12. Shots for every raindrop. YOLO?
NewsMay 3, 2012 at 7:29 pm

Smokey Joe’s, Open to Close

Anticipating boredom on Friday? Done with finals and hangin’ around? Stop by the first ever “Smoke’s Sit In,” which will be happening tomorrow from 11am until 2am. That’s right, fifteen straight hours of drinking, games and mayhem at every 21 plus’ favorite campus watering hole.

Though you won’t get your name on a plaque, there’s a good chance you end up drinking more on this one day than Feb Club goers did in four years at Penn.

FeaturesJune 28, 2011 at 2:55 pm

Bachelorette Buzz: Week Six

Alright guys, by this point you know the drill. Get your drinks ready, because Week Six of The Bachelorette is serious business.

This week’s episode opens with generic Asian music and some zen shots of Hong Kong. Ashley poses in a street as everyone zooms around her. Is it just me or does she look two shades tanner? (and, slightly less important: where is Bill Murray?)

Chris and Ashley reflect on last week’s rose ceremony. Eight guys remain. Chris is afraid Ashley will become the runaway bride. Bentley is here!!! “Shut up,” says Ashley… (dot dot dot). Read the rest of this entry »

NewsJanuary 25, 2011 at 1:07 pm

The State of Drinking?

This morning, the DP published something that found…well, interesting, to say the least: it’s the 2011 State of the Union Drinking Game! Weird, we thought turning not so fun things into fun things was our schtick?

The rules suggest taking a shot whenever Obama uses one of his catchphrases, like “We need change” (well, we do) or “Let me be perfectly clear” (please do!), and during a number of other oddly chosen times.

Not sure what exactly this guest columnist was going for but originality certainly wasn’t a priority.

If you’re actually up for watching the State of the Union, Penn Dems and College Republicans are playing nice and hosting a viewing party in Huntsman room 245 at 8:30 p.m. There will also be a discussion on “our thoughts and hopes for 2011.” Deep.

See the complete rules after the jump.
Read the rest of this entry »

CampusOctober 13, 2009 at 3:02 pm

RPI Explains This Global Pandemic Using Words We Understand

You can try to stop Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute students from partying, but they love getting crunk to the power of wasted all divided by what-a-blackoutrageous-night (NERDS). But swine flu, the ultimate party pooper, started ruining their buzz and the administration needed to step in. According to the New York Post,

“The director of the college’s health center sent a message to RPI students and staff warning against playing drinking games after a group of students contracted swine flu during a weekend of socializing.”

It’s a good thing they told everyone about the whole drinking games thing because even though we realized this very contagious infection could be transferred via shared drinks, we didn’t know that applied to our beer pong beer! We were reading that article with one hand holding a ping-pong ball and the other holding a drink, and we were so shocked we almost stepped right through our computer with the foot we were typing with.

So Penn, start acting like RPI and explain things in ways us college kids can understand. Warnings against obesity must be put in terms of ramen noodles and fried oreos. Statistics on depression must be expressed using how we feel when we don’t get texted after our walks of shame. Because if you don’t, we’re just going to end up fat and sad in addition to being swine-flu-y and that would be such a bummer.

UncategorizedNovember 4, 2008 at 7:09 pm

A Toast To Election Night!

Tonight, we say goodbye to what might be our favorite part of Election 2008: the media circus surrounding it. Indeed, there will be no more cheesy “Decision 2008″ graphics, and we’ll have to bid a fond farewell to colorful CNN commentators. So we thought we’d send them off with a bang, and thus, the Election Night Drinking game.

Indeed, as college students, we will seize upon any excuse to drink, particularly those which make us look politically aware. So, in the grand tradition of the Presidential Debate drinking game and the annual State of the Union drinking game, we introduce to you the Under The Button Election Night 2008 drinking game. No election-results party would be complete without it.

First, we recommend you arm your friends with both red and blue drinks: after all, unless Florida fucks it up again, this is sure to be a proud day for America. For the red, our suggestions include Red Stripe Lager, Bloody Marys, anything mixed with Hawaiian Punch, or Red Bull and vodka (perhaps not technically red, but a favorite). Blue drinks could be Pabst Blue Ribbon or some kind of blue Kool-aid concoction. Perhaps your best option is be red and blue Jell-o shots. In any event, you’ll want to be well-stocked with alcohol for the night, just in case this becomes a clusterfuck that goes on well into tomorrow.

Regardless of what you choose, our recommendations for gameplay are after the jump, guaranteed to provide fun until a winner is declared.

Read the rest of this entry »