UncategorizedMarch 7, 2009 at 10:26 pm

Penn Using Endowment To Invest In Bayer? A Little More Meningitis

Somebody on the board of trustees must be in bed with the Cipro manufacturer because Penn just can’t seem to escape the little bugger. After last month’s mini-outbreak, the University just sent out an email that another undergrad has been hospitalized with a suspected case of meningitis. While this case seems to be isolated from the Valentine’s weekend episode, SHS is still offering treatment for any students who are interested and will be open again tomorrow, March 8 from 12pm-3pm.

UncategorizedFebruary 23, 2009 at 4:01 pm

Bourbon Street On Walnut Street

Campus Apartments–where cool people live! as per their ubiquitous advertisements–is having a Mardi Gras celebration tomorrow.  Holiday theme parties are an interesting perk, but frankly we would prefer HBO.  Here’s the e-mail they sent reminding tenants to pick up their beads for the festivities:

Stop by the Campus Apartments office, 4043 Walnut Street, tomorrow, February 24th, to pick up Mardi Gras beads in celebration of Fat Tuesday!

Don’t forget, 4 – 8 bedroom houses are still available!
If you refer a group for one of our 4 – 8 bedroom and they sign a lease for one,
you’ll receive a $500 referral reward!!
Come by our office for more information!

Read the rest of this entry »

UncategorizedFebruary 23, 2009 at 10:35 am

Lessons In Leadership And Chapter 11

An e-mail announcing that Philadelphia Media Holdings CEO Brian Tierney will be speaking on campus this Friday just landed in our inbox.  This is, uh, kind of inauspicious timing considering that he filed for bankruptcy yesterday. Don’t get us wrong, we’re definitely pulling for the Inky and the Daily News — this just reminds us of the time MTV asked Britney Spears (still very much in her hot mess stage) to perform at the VMA’s in that it doesn’t really seem like the best idea at this particular moment.

Oh well, it still might be a learning experience for everyone involved.  Check out the announcement from the Fox Leadership Program: Read the rest of this entry »

UncategorizedDecember 15, 2008 at 2:14 pm

This Is Egregious: Out-of-Office Replies During Finals

Someone forwarded us this message from a Penn undergrad who shall remain nameless:


This is an automatic reply being sent because I am currently studying for Final Exams at the University of Pennsylvania.  The end of this semester is Wednesday, Dec. 17, 2008.  I will be unable to reply to any e-mails until after that date.

Thanks for your understanding,

Totally unacceptable virtual impression management, kid–you seem to have missed several important memos re: appropriate usage of Microsoft Outlook.  Heh.  We almost didn’t post this, but then a voice of reason reminded us: “He’s out of his office for a while, so he probably wouldn’t notice.”

UncategorizedNovember 23, 2008 at 5:40 pm

Exactly How Big Of A Pain Is This South Street Bridge Thing Gonna Be?

We trust that you all got this e-mail last week:

The City of Philadelphia has notified Penn that the South Street Bridge will close for reconstruction beginning Monday, December 8, 2008.

The demolition and rebuilding of the bridge requires the complete closure of the structure between Convention Avenue and 27th Street, including the on-and-off-ramps connecting South Street and I-76.

Please be prepared for significant vehicular congestion throughout University City, as well as periodic traffic and parking changes in the vicinity of campus for the duration of this 24-month project.

Yep, two years without the bridge!  It may not seem like this is going to have much of an effect of your lives, but trust us, this is going to be an epic pain in the neck.  Seniors and juniors, use these next few weeks to say goodbye to a congestion-free campus for good, or at least until your first reunion.

UncategorizedNovember 21, 2008 at 11:42 am

This. Is. Amazing.

The cherry on the sundae that was yesterday’s awesomeness (an awesomeness that largely stemmed from me finding new websites to procrastinate with) was being sent a link to this article by a friend. Unfortunately, I couldn’t copy and paste this thing no matter how hard I tried, but trust me, this link is definitely worth clicking on. To whet your appetite, the article is called “Man tries to pay bill with spider drawing.” Enjoy.

My personal favorite part? “I am currently away on leave, traveling through time and will be returning last week.” Genius.

So the big question is: is this real? So far the vote seems to be split about 50/50. Tell us what you think!

UncategorizedNovember 12, 2008 at 10:30 am

Calling All Meatheads For Penn-Drexel Tug Of War

Do you possess brute strength, a superior grip and the desire to strong-arm our neighbors to the north? Then congratulations, you may be eligible to participate in the epic tug of war, billed as the “Battle of 33rd Street,” that PennRec is organizing in conjunction with next week’s Penn-Drexel basketball game (set to be part of ESPN’s all-day college basketball marathon).  The following e-mail is currently winding its way through Penn’s most muscular listservs:

A couple of weeks ago, I sent out an email regarding a tug-or-war that PennRec is organizing against Drexel the night before the Penn-Drexel Basketball game during ESPN’s 24hrs of basketball.  They’re looking for 20 guys and 10 girls to participate in this event and all participants get free tkts to the game the next day.
I know I got a couple of responses about this earlier, but are other people interested in doing it?  You simply have to be an Penn Undergrad.  If anyone is interested, please let me know.

Read the rest of this entry »

UncategorizedNovember 10, 2008 at 12:00 pm

John Leonard’s Penn Connection

Cultural critic John Leonard died last week.  One of the requirements of being a Street editor is being totally and irrevocably obsessed with New York Magazine, and Leonard was NYMag’s TV critic, so we were greatly saddened to hear of his death.  The following e-mail just came in over the Kelly Writers House listserv via its director Al Filreis, and it details the year Leonard spent teaching creative writing at Penn:

I’m sure you’ve seen the news that John Leonard died last week. Did you know that he had a connection to Penn? In the 1980-1981 school year he taught a creative writing class at Penn for undergraduates.

At that time, Penn had few outlets for writers in general and almost none for fiction writing. Having a well known essayist, book critic and novelist come to campus to teach undergraduates created a lot of excitement in Bennett Hall.

Read the rest of this entry »

UncategorizedNovember 7, 2008 at 11:00 am

Surprise! You’ve Got The Syph!

If you’ve picked up your copy of the DP Thursday, you probably read about the single greatest thing to hit the Internet since Scrabulous: inSPOT.org. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, now you can remove all of the discomfort and unpleasantries from having to tell a former partner that your last encounter was a bit more lasting than either of you probably would have liked.

There are some unfortunate limits on the Web site. Perhaps the most important, you’re going to have to know your former companion’s name and e-mail address. Might I suggest that for a minimal extra fee, inSPOT takes down what few details you can recall of your one-time bed buddy and tries to find said partner a la Law and Order? After all, this is an important pubic public health crisis. If inSPOT is really trying to help you manage your one night stands, it’s not fair of them to hold out. Read the rest of this entry »

UncategorizedNovember 4, 2008 at 10:05 am

Every Vote Counts, Except The Ones You Cancel Out

You’ve probably already seen this e-mail that’s been making the rounds, a warning from the ominously named Committee of Seventy:

If you first push the button for the presidential candidate you want and then push the straight party button, you will cancel out your vote for president on the voting machines used in Philadelphia.  This is because it will be as if you had pushed the presidential nominee’s button twice: the first time selecting him and the second time unselecting him.  If you want to vote the straight party ticket, just push that button and it will include that party’s nominee for president.  If you want to select a nominee for president individually then you need to select all of your candidates individually.

We find it a little disconcerting that we might somehow unwittingly void our own vote, so please heed this warning and be careful!  Everything’s going to be so much easier in the future when we can vote by text message.