Since hundreds of you stormed out of your rooms onto Locust Walk as soon as the prediction was made (and since you clearly rely on this blog for all your election news), here are the speeches you may have missed from both candidates Tuesday night:
Barack Obama
John McCain
Tonight, we say goodbye to what might be our favorite part of Election 2008: the media circus surrounding it. Indeed, there will be no more cheesy “Decision 2008″ graphics, and we’ll have to bid a fond farewell to colorful CNN commentators. So we thought we’d send them off with a bang, and thus, the Election Night Drinking game.
Indeed, as college students, we will seize upon any excuse to drink, particularly those which make us look politically aware. So, in the grand tradition of the Presidential Debate drinking game and the annual State of the Union drinking game, we introduce to you the Under The Button Election Night 2008 drinking game. No election-results party would be complete without it.
First, we recommend you arm your friends with both red and blue drinks: after all, unless Florida fucks it up again, this is sure to be a proud day for America. For the red, our suggestions include Red Stripe Lager, Bloody Marys, anything mixed with Hawaiian Punch, or Red Bull and vodka (perhaps not technically red, but a favorite). Blue drinks could be Pabst Blue Ribbon or some kind of blue Kool-aid concoction. Perhaps your best option is be red and blue Jell-o shots. In any event, you’ll want to be well-stocked with alcohol for the night, just in case this becomes a clusterfuck that goes on well into tomorrow.
Regardless of what you choose, our recommendations for gameplay are after the jump, guaranteed to provide fun until a winner is declared.
While I watched the VP debate, I imagine a good number of you did not. After all, even though we Penn students pride ourselves on being intelligent, aware human beings, we couldn’t help but wonder who thought to schedule a debate on a Thursday. I mean, really?
Anyway, to save you the trouble of looking for YouTube clips and perusing the sound bites that will undoubtedly be played hourly on CNN, Fox News, or MSNBC, I’ll share with you this handy flow chart (by way of Comedy Central) that summarizes Governor Palin’s position on the issues:
Update, 10:30 9/28: Alas, we just heard that Zach and Drew canceled! Was it a hoax? Did they get a better offer from a school in a real swing state? WHY, DREW, WHY!?
Ok, WHAT? We just got an e-mail that Zach Braff and Drew Barrymore will be at Penn Monday to stump for Obama. Last year we had Kal Penn, a few weeks ago it was Kate Walsh, and now these two? The DP is starting to look like Us Weekly!
The two, who were kind of rumored to be dating at one point but have more recently moved on to Chuck Bass/Ed Westwick (her) and, um, every female in Hollywood that isn’t macking John Mayer (him), are set to appear in Houston Hall at noon on Monday. We’re not really sure how effective all these movie star visits are, considering that most of us are already planning to vote for Obama, but can we just say, Drew Barrymore is our favorite actress ever, and aside from being a bit of a player, we also like Zach Braff very much. Go dems!
No word on when/if Chuck Norris will descend on campus to campaign for McCain. We’ll keep you posted.
