Last night, a dear tipster was a victim of a Bloody Sunday of sorts, but no Czar was overthrown. No, instead Penn was faced with chicken from repeat offender 1920 Nommons that was another sort of tragic. Was it the work of Sweeney Todd and Mrs. Lovett? Or is the worst meat in Philly merely raw? Sound off below. Bon appétit!
Have you seen this sticky yellow-brown trail of an unidentified substance trailing through campus? Of course you have! This ish runs from 34th all the way past 39th, which is actually pretty impressive. We’re currently taking bets on long it’ll stay– a day? A week? Nah, probably a month. Gross.
[Update: Turns out the offensive goo is actually an eco-friendly deicer made up of either molasses and salt or beet juice. Neat, eh?]
Earlier this fine evening, we received an email from Leah Popowich about President Gutmann’s study break on Sunday. Attached was the holly jolly eyesore seen above. Poinsettia border. Lollipop clipart (?). Multiple exclamation points. AND COMIC SANS. Amy! What. Were. You. Thinking?!
Heroic as this effort is, we think it’ll take more than a sign to stop the gross antics of these KC jokers.
The internet: It’s a big, big place. You can shop online, learn online, listen to music online, and now, even find your Penn soulmate online. With PennMatch, the newest social-networking-or-something site, you can find the love of your life. Basically, it works (we think) by using a highly complex algorithm which generates one random male and random female who are part of the Penn Facebook network. Besides the obvious question (Why am I paired with someone who has a Sailor Moon profile picture?), we’re wondering a lot of things.
According to a tipster, this guy was walking down Spruce St. with a very realistic squirrel tail. The photo is probably blurry because he darted across the sidewalk, changed his mind, ran into the road, pivoted, turned back, startled a tour group, ate a snack, and then hurried away to relieve himself in the 3rd floor Fisher boys bathroom.
We have some questions.
1. Did he steal it from a real live squirrel, and if so, does PETA know?
2. How is it adhered?
3. Is it real? We’ve heard stories of babies born with tails.
4. Wait, why is he wearing that squirrel tail?
According to a tipster, a septic tank has overflowed on Spruce St. No more info yet. We’d do some research, but we’re too busy wondering why that cyclist chose to go directly through the puddle, and whether or not he will ever smell normal again.
Get at us in the comments if you know what’s up, or if you can tell us how the flood has impacted your life.
We're watching you.
Today must have been a really weird day on campus, because we got a steady stream of very bizarre photos (thanks guys!) and it’s not even pledging season! Unfortunately, just this one time, we don’t have all the answers to the “Please tell us what is going on here UTB!” cries that accompanied the tips. If you know what’s up, help us out by commenting.
Check out squirrel whispering, indecent exposure, the return of mop tops and more, after the jump.
Listen, we understand that OCR is stressful and that getting a job is hard, and so we’re usually totally understanding of the fact that you do what you have to do to secure future employment. However, we just stumbled upon this pair of underwear in front of Huntsman, and considering that interviews start today, the whole thing feels a little suspicious.
We have some words of wisdom to impart, as well as a close-up of the garment, after the jump.