Therapy dogs are common on campus amidst finals season, but all them canines are put to shame by the CUTEST little nugget of a puppy, aptly named Lentil, who has become a bit of a viral celebrity. The French bulldog puppy was born with a cleft palate and just turned three months old yesterday (happy b-day, bb).

The 3ish-pound pooch has the most adorable deformity in all of the (internet) land and has developed a cult following on Facebook, even making the leap to BuzzFeed. Mommy’s been feeding him through a tube, but a campaign from adoring fans raised money for his surgery, scheduled for May 28…at PENN VET.

Yep, we’ve landed the most high-profile canine operation in months (Mom blogged the vets “are amazing to worth with“), so if you’re in Philly over the summer, wade through the paparazzi at the Vet School at the end of the month to bring Lentil some treats! And until then, it’s LENTIL FEST this weekend, complete with concerts and an “everything but the fleas” market. Thanks for choosing Penn – WE LOVE YOU LENTIL! <3

Every semester, there are three sure signs that finals season has rolled around. First—the most obvious—Van Pelt’s got extended hours; second, the nursing students have deserted campus; and third, a strict Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy on showering has been tacitly ratified by everyone you know and love.

But fear not, for there is a bar of soap at the end of this long, musky tunnel. In the meantime, enjoy these few sprinkles of fresh perspective. Read the rest of this entry »

In case none of your Facebook friends go to Penn, or if you’re just colorblind and thought that campus has been unusually dusty lately, then we suggest you get into the Holi-day spirit! After Saturday’s cross between a paint party and color war, we have one casualty: our beloved Button.

The glowstick explosion over campus was cause yesterday for a scrubdown of our namesake, restoring it to its *virginal* alabaster.

So we know where everyone went for spring break, but only God knows what everyone was doing. Oh wait, so do we. Thanks to our generation’s BFF status with social media and over-sharing, a quick glance at Facebook gave us a nice idea of what our fellow Quakers were up to. See who made the cut!

This caffeine addict friend-of-yours was having THE most wonderful time in Puerto Rico. Little known fact, Puerto Rico is known for coffee (this fact is so obscure, a search for “coffee” on Puerto Rico’s Wikipedia page brings up no results). In fact for the locals, coffee and “Port-oh-reeko” are synonymous (both mean gringo). Was it even fair trade? You self-indulgent tourist.

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There’s something missing from this bathroom stall in the Towne Building: a huge section of the wall.  It seems like trips to the restroom are getting a lot more personal with this glory…rectangle.  Whatever, who needs privacy?

There’s nothing more fascinating than observing a wild beast in its natural habitat, so UTB infiltrated the Penn 2016 Facebook group to see what the kiddies are up to.

Pictured here is a somewhat pointless but mildly impressive word association game that’s been going on for almost a year. Fortunately, we’ve beaten Brown because they probably don’t really care about this game anymore.

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We all try to keep our Facebooks as PC as possible, but everyone lets a tagged photo or liked link fall through the cracks every now and then. Lucky for us, while the minds of some participants at last weekend’s PennApps were in the gutter, others were more focused on cleaning the gutter out.

Three Kent State students created an app called Facewash, which searches your comments, posts, photos, likes, and tags for anything “you wouldn’t want a future employer to see or your mother to see.” Jeff Weiner would totally approve.

The developers won in the Best Hack for Students category and even landed on the homepage of Yahoo!, which basically means they’re kind of really famous. One of the guys in the picture is even wearing a Penn hoodie, so we’re basically kind of really famous, too, right?

Ask any self-respecting Penn student for their worst fear and they’ll all have the same reply: potential employers seeing their unedited Facebook profile. One look at your tagged photo from last weekend and you’ll never get a job. Luckily, Wharton grad Jeff Weiner is at the helm of a little website that allows you to separate your perfect GPA from the fact that you attended an event that toed the punny-pornographic line.

In all seriousness, Linkedin is a place “for serious business people to do serious business.”

Before rising to CEO of one of Silicon Valley’s most profitable websites, Weiner lived the life doing M&A, but he now runs LinkedIn, which is currently valued at over $1 billion. Weiner is still not satisfied. In his words, “We want to be everywhere the general professional is. We would like to be ubiquitous.” If ubiquity can be measured by the number of spam emails Linkedin sends every day, mission accomplished. Just saying.

Here’s a scheme to get an A: compliment your professor!

The leading minds from the Wharton School have picked up on this newfangled technology thing called Facebook that has some pretty neat features (read: stalking). Just like the “Aha!” moment your grandmother experiences as you teach her to Skype, the article quotes the profs being seriously impressed with Penn Compliments.

We’re pretty sure they’re just fishing for compliments themselves (hey profs, friend us on FB please!), but we also think it’s awesome how up on the times their research is. Definitely scoring some “cool dad” points at home for this one…

Have you gotten a Penn Compliment yet? Pfft,you?  Probably not. If not, take justice into your own hands and channel your frustration into a backhanded one. Introducing Penn Backhanded Compliments, a brand new Facebook profile for all your stealth backhanding needs. It’s like Penn Compliments’ evil twin, or as the page itself puts it: “If Penn Compliments was a sassy betch.”

It works the same way as the nice version: just send them a message with your backhanded compliment and victim’s name, and they’ll anonymously post it for you in all it’s public, self-esteem-eroding-but-all-in-good-fun glory. Keep it witty. Keep it civil.