This year’s fling theme will be “Peace Love and Fling,” according to SPEC’s morning listserv blast. Yes, without the commas. We at UTB were personally shocked, since we definitely thought the theme was going to be Level 254 of Candy Crush, Donuts, orSave Justin Bieber from Deportation. (But actually, we will always luv u Justin.)
This announcement brings up a lot of questions. Will Fling 2014 essentially be the Penn “Summer of Love?” Is our dream line-up of Missy Elliott and Evanescence totally shot? Guess we will have to wait the 71 days (69 if you are #relevant) until Fling to find out.
Looks like SPEC is trying its best to not be hated by the student body [again] by launching a super simple survey in order to solicit ideas from the wonderful student body that is you. This survey is really very simple. You tell them your name, your email, and your choice for a headliner and opener, then BAM: you look like a fool cuz you really don’t have a choice. Well, you could…but no. Yes. No.
It’s like, a democracy or something. But really, take the survey. You really have nothing to lose, sans any hope ever.
Happy Hey Day! (Cue Juniors freaking out and Seniors weeping silently). But this 1932 photo of the then-dubbed Cane March looks more like a funeral procession than a celebration. Maybe it’s because they knew Penn didn’t come up with the idea for Hey Day to begin with! That’s right, our precious celebration was originally modeled after a similar idea at Syracuse University. But it also has evolved from a formal ceremony honoring the advancement of each class to a parade of raucous debauchery. Hats off for another reason to get drunk and procrastinate!
While you were busy Flinging like it’s 80 degrees and sunny and eating fried Oreos, this happy couple was walking down the aisle crosswalk outside the Quad. We’re not sure what’s better about this photo: the random formal wear or the Flingers staring. Although this wedding had no connection to the weekend’s festivities, we’d like to imagine their bridesmaids wore tanks and everyone danced down the aisle to Rack City.
With a 90 percent chance of rain looming, students have found many ways of coping. Honestly, if we can rage in shorts in the hail, why not rage in tanks in the rain?
According to a SPEC source, that’s exactly the plan. As long as sound and stage equipment can withstand the weather, performances in the Quad and Franklin Field will go on as scheduled. Inflatable use will be a moon-bounce by moon-bounce decision; hopefully it will always be “yes.” However, if the rain’s too hard (Why Fling gods? Why?!), both Quad activities and the Franklin concert will be cancelled. Check in with SPEC on Twitter, Facebook, or their website for up to date info.
There are always a few of you each year–the select bunch who haven’t mastered the art of drunk blogging for Writing Seminar. While the rest of campus is praying to the gods of Pong and Porcelain, you’re holed up in a Huntsman GSR…which is why we present you with:
The Anti-Flinger’s Guide to Fling
1. Start your Fling Friday in the VP Stacks, where we’re sure an Independent Study (if you know what we mean) won’t do it for ya. Booty call a friend, describing your location with the Dewey Decimal System.
2. How desperate is too desperate, you ask? Rising freshmen are fair game. 11th-graders are a no-go–unless they’ve broken a 2100.
3. On the off-chance you start to envy red cups and the people who hold them, remind yourself that you are classy. Take swigs from the bottle of Poland Spring (without the label, of course) that you snuck into the library, cringing with each swallow. Remind yourself that it’s only water.
Here we have one of the many Penn traditions that didn’t quite stand the test of time. Presenting the Bowl Fight: an annual orgy game that pitted the sophomore and freshman classes against each other. It took place in the Quad in April, much like Fling! Only it was super violent. A couple of years after the Bowl Fight pictured (1914), someone died and they (appropriately) called the whole thing off. So please, sophomores, as you sneak past the tight Quad security this weekend to visit your old rooms, don’t try to wrestle freshmen into bowls. We wouldn’t want Fling cancelled, nowwould we?
In case you missed it in the DP, the Bureau of Liquor Control Enforcement of Philadelphia is coming to Fling (and not as a Quad performer). They make an appearance every year, but this time they’re going undercover.
They’ve already started their work by meeting with residents of some off-campus houses that have been marked “problem houses” to remind them of the stakes.
We’re not telling you not to day drink, but maybe just do it in the streets. And if you’re the host of an off-campus rager, remember the LCE can’t necessarily climb in your window to snatch your people up, but they can always walk in an open door.
Two a.m. and she calls me ’cause I’m still awake… Preach, Anna Nalick, because it’s Twitter-official: VP’s main building is open until 2 a.m. all the way through finals, effective immediately. As happy as we are that the exodus to Rosenparty is no longer at the absurdly early hour of midnight, the fact that @upennlib had to tweet something with the words “today” and “finals” is disconcerting.
Where did the time go?! Oh yes, last day of classes in about two weeks, so buckling down to start those final research papers now is not unwise. Who are we kidding? Do your mental health a favor and don’t take advantage of these extended hours until after thisweekend. And if we see you in there during Fling, you’re getting MERTed.
Countdown: four days! Or two, if you’re planning on going hard starting Wednesday. Or zero, if you do that every day anyway. Jazz & Grooves released a promo for their Saturday In The Quad concert, featuring Delorean, Gigamesh (not the ancient play you read in 9th grade – that’s GiLgamesh), Autre Ne Veut and more. Come on, look at how much fun your fellow Quakers are having in this video! Makes us want to dance! Sure to be a good time.
Remember, buy your Fling guest passes (here) before they sell out! Secure your cheap sunglasses and fanny packs. It’s even warm! (Today at least.) Get those last minute Fling puns (The Flung and the Restless?!?!) printed on your tanks. Seek out a nice patch of grass where you know you can pass out if you need to.