FeaturesFebruary 2, 2014 at 5:07 pm

Super Bowl 2K14: An Eating Game

frame_extYou’re not fooling anyone. We know your ass is only at that Super Bowl party for the wings. Lucky for you, UTB nixed the usual drinking game  for the world’s first Super Bowl EATING game. After all, why would you want to just get regular wasted when you can get pizza-wasted? Happy tweeting n eating!

  • Every time someone makes a reference to Washington and Colorado being pot states, smoke a super bowl. Puff, puff for every completed pass. Count the hash marks on the field. Did you know XLVIII actually stands for 420? Sorry, we’re done.*
  • GoDaddy’s commercial leaves you disgusted but also fascinated: slurp your drink really loudly in memory of this gem.
  • Something important happens and everyone is screaming and you have no idea what’s going on: eat a chip. If you’re busy with a mouth full of nacho cheese no one will notice you’re a fraud.
  • Camera angle trickery fails and Bruno Mars’ super-shortness becomes apparent: finish your slice.
  • Wardrobe malfunction: eat a red hot chili pepper.
  • Hit the brownies early when the guy you’re hooking up with gets really into the game and forgets you exist.
  • Technical difficulties: fistful of Cheetos. Read the rest of this entry »
Super Bowl Live Tweeting! -- Be sure to follow along as UTB live-tweets the big game/guac marathon/commercial fest tonight at @underthebutton! We'll comment on the three Bs: ball, beer and Bruno.
ShutterButtonNovember 6, 2013 at 1:54 pm

ShutterButton: Historic Homecoming

Ah, homecoming. A weekend of football, basketball, alumni, and the perfect opportunity to study drink all day. This photo dates back to 1892, a homecoming to remember. After 27 straight losses to Princeton, Penn ended the streak, winning this game 6-4. Here’s to a winsome weekend, sending a harmless puck you to our biggest sports rival. Happy Homecoming, Quakers. Stay safe and party hard.

What's HapPENNingNovember 5, 2013 at 12:00 pm

What’s HapPENNing

utbHappy homecoming week, babyquakes! Here are a few events to fill in those annoying empty spaces between darties.

TODAY: Panhel Presents Dove “Real Woman,” Stacy Nadeau
Listen to one of Dove’s Real Women spokeswomen speak about positive body image!

Wednesday: SPEC Connaissance Presents Matthew Perry
In light of our recent loss of the similarly named campus icon, this event may be coming too soon. If you can make it through the grief, though, doors open at Irvine Auditorium at 7:30pm.

Thursday: Seniors for the Penn Fund Homecoming Bash
Free booze ‘n food. Kenn Kweder will be there, so that’s cool we guess.

Thursday-Saturday: Penn Glee Club & Penn Dance Present Esspresspionage: A Latte of Trouble
Puns: we appreciate them.

Saturday: The Inspiration A Cappella Presents Low Key Suite
Because we know you were thinking, “damn, I’d kill for an a cappella show right now.”

Saturday: Penn-Princeton Football Game
You should probably consider going to one of these at some point in your four years.

NewsOctober 16, 2013 at 3:45 pm

Order Your PUCK FRINCETON Shirt!

puck frinceton

Once in a million years (?) the two most exciting Penn football games come together to form a college sporting event so epic, so goddamn exhilarating that students (gasp!) actually attend the game. Yes Quakers, the Penn v. Princeton game and Homecoming are uniting as one!

To honor this event, let’s Puck our friends at Frinceton. Support the DP, The Buzz, and the Quakers’ quest to destroy the Tigers with these friendly, sportsman-like shirts (NOW IN LONG SLEEVE!!!). You can order now at www.theDP.com/tshirt until October 27th.

NewsApril 28, 2013 at 10:25 am

Penn Seniors Spotted By NFL

copelandLast night, former Quaker captain Brandon Copeland W’13 (left) signed as a free agent with Super Bowl champions, the Baltimore Ravens.

Not to be outdone, teammate Joe Bonadies C’13 (right) was invited to the Minnesota Vikings rookie mini-camp where his history major will no doubt prove incredibly useful.

But no matter what the future may hold, with three Ivy League championships under their belts, these guys have already scored big in our Red & Blue hearts. (Aww…)

Update: Scott Lopano W’13 (not pictured, but totally worth the extra click) has also been invited to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers’ mini-camp. Good luck, boys!

FeaturesFebruary 3, 2013 at 4:30 pm

How to Impress Your Man: Super Bowl Edition

urlIf you’re like us, you’re really good at curling your hair, slathering on that Mac lipgloss and teetering around in heels. You are kind, nurturing and know how to GET DOWN AND DIRTY. Your one subpar quality when it comes to nailing the other sex: you know nothing about football. Or any sport for that matter. So, we’ve decided to give you a little nudge in the right direction. Here, ladies (and gentz, cuz that’s a thing) – your cheat sheet for how to impress the man in your life when the hot wings come out, the boys gather ’round, and the game comes on.

1. Know who is playing: The 49ers and the Ravens. It’s not hard. Don’t screw up the number or make lighthearted reference to this particular “Raven.” I’m pretty sure only 3% of the room will own up to watching Disney Channel.

2. Serve up a fun fact!: Did you know the two coaches of the opposing teams are actually brothers? Did you know Raven Ray Lewis is playing his last game? Well, now you do. During the hushed silence as the boys ogle over Beyonce’s tush, confidently state one of these convenient facts and you’ll be sure to score a few points.

3. Bring some food: hot wings, pizza, french fries, beer, etc etc. Anything fried, anything that goes well with ranch dressing. But we swear to G – if you dare to bring your grilled chicken cubes and apple to keep with your “diet” – you will lose every single point you may have gained. Nobody wants to watch the SuperBowl with this type hangin’ round.

Check out the rest! (these ones are even better)

FeaturesFebruary 3, 2013 at 2:56 pm

“Puppy” Bowl Sunday

imagesWhat’s adorable, hairy, clumsy, messy and playful?! No silly not football players, but puppies!!! Before you turn on your TV for that lame, kinda sacred thing called the Super Bowl (JK), be sure to catch all the action from the Puppy Bowl IX. It airs on Animal Planet today from 3-5 p.m.

Basically it’s the ultimate aww factor featuring different breeds of puppies from a wide range of animal shelters. There is even a Kitty Halftime Show, which is the purrfect opportunity for cat lovers to tune in as well.  What better way to kick off your Super Bowl Sunday?

We have even provided you with some of our favs for this year’s top dog.

Check it out here!

NewsDecember 3, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Donovan McNabb Says Quakers Are Better Than Eagles

Hey, sports fans! Remember the good ol’ days when you were able to watch 9 straight hours of back-to-back-to-back football games over the weekend and cram all your homework into the commercial breaks? (We still do that, too).

If you didn’t quite catch all of Sunday’s NFL post-game analysis, or someone in Pottruck switched the channel from SportsCenter to Dr. Phil during your morning jog, here’s what you missed: ex-Philly Eagles QB Donovan McNabb gave the Quakers a shoutout.

“I’m gonna go with the Pennsylvania University,” he said. We just checked the alumni directory, and McNabb isn’t a UPenn grad. As for the alumni directory from the Pennsylvania University…well, that’s about as elusive as the former tenants of 36th and Locust.

What's HapPENNingFebruary 6, 2012 at 9:03 am

What’s HapPENNing?

Guy, how crazy was the Super Bowl last night? No really, how was it? We heard it was a tough game between the Giants and the Tebows or something, but probably not half as competitive as the classic match between the TuneSquad and the Monstars.

Anyway, this is a big week! We got speed reading, we got Penn professors being awesome, we got van Gogh– we got everything!

Penn Research Week
Who: CURF
When and where: Februrary 6-10 p.m.; ARCH and Houston Hall (check link for details)
Why: Research is, like, puhretty cool. Science! Beakers! Beep beep! Alright, research is actually so much more than mixing chemicals and making liquids change color. Penn has one metric butt-ton (1 MBT) of money sitting around for grants for students to pursue their interests and discover much more about the academic field that most appeals to them- science, history…even communications! Go for it!

Read the rest of this entry »