Times are tough these days. Breadlines are longer than ever and even though shantytowns are where all the rebels hang out, we’re really missing four walls and a roof. Damn. Anywho, this week Streetattempts to brighten your day and show you the joys of this depressing life! Deal or New Deal?
In reality, Hoovervilles aren’t that bad. You can find love (and syphilis) there. Pinky promise. But have no fear, we caught up with Eleanor Roosevelt who drunkenly divulged her family recipe for Jell–O salad — it involves lots and lots of mayo.
So we’re a little late on this (we were so busy celebrating?) but the Quakers became Ivy League champs yesterday (sorta) in their last home game against Harvard, with a final score of 34-14. Though we’ll be Ivy Champs of some variety, we aren’t officially champs until next weekend, when we play Cornell on their turf. If we lose, we could potentially have to share the title with Yale.
Confused? We’ll break it down for you. We have one more Ivy win than Yale, who also won yesterday. If we were to lose next weekend and Yale were to beat Harvard, we and Yale will both be 6-1. In the case of this happening, we’d have to share the championship title with them, which is totally lame. Can’t wait to watch our boys drink out of that giant trophy again, though.
Tomorrow, Penn faces off against its biggest historical rival, Princeton. In honor of tradition and school spirit and good looks, we’ve scoured the University Archives for the most handsome, dashing Penn Football stars of yore. Thanks to our seminar in Advanced Googling 346, we’ve dug up what we could about these former cuties.
You know you’ve made it big when you get a cameo on South Park. And from the looks of this screenshot from last night’s season premiere, the Penn football team helmet has done just that! In a scene that spoofs ESPN’s Pardon the Interruption, the Penn name is displayed proudly next to an ESPN Etch-a-Sketch and behind that dude’s shoulder. We assume that first letter is a P, at least. Hollywood, here we come!
As per The DP, Penn Football clinched their 800th career win last night in the season opener against Lafayette. The end score was 19-14 and our boys settled into the win in the last few minutes, keeping the several people in attendance on the edge of their seats. The game was dedicated to the memories of both #40 Owen Thomas and Dan “Coach Lake” Staffieri, with a 40 second moment of silence to start things off. It was an emotional game and not much snark can be thrust upon it. All we can say is way to keep fightin’, Quakers.
Surprise! Our very own Quaker was invited to College Gameday announcer Lee Corso’s birthday party — or at least the scripted version filmed for this Gameday promo. Also on the invite list? Mascots representing a smattering of college football’s most significant programs: Florida’s Albert Gator, Ohio State’s Brutus Buckeye and Texas Tech’s Raider Red, among others. Though we love the Quaker, and can’t wait for the season opener against Lafayette come Saturday, it seems odd that Penn Football was included in this rather exclusive fiesta. Perhaps this is the first time that being mistaken for Penn State has ever worked in our favor?
Yet again another confirmation that Penn likes its students to be good and sauced: Penn Athletics has designated the concrete spot between the Lott Tennis Courts and 33rd Street as “THE area” for pre-football game tailgates.
Grills and charcoal will be provided, first-come-first-serve, by the Athletic Department. Bring your own meat, fixin’s, beer, gin buckets, igloo coolers, fratstars, and country music. SO STATE SCHOOL!
After the jump, see the email from Penn Athletics marketing director J. A. Craigs.
During our regular perusing of the Philadelphia Eagles website (…okay, not really, thanks tipsters), we noticed something oddly familiar on their splash page. OMG, there’s a video of old football players in our very own Franklin Field– and there’s people watching them! Imagine that.
Apparently, the Eagles are commemorating that they haven’t won anything in 50 years the 50th anniversary of the 1960 championship, which we guess was before they had Superbowls or something.
They beat the Packers in front of what looks like a ton of people; 50 years later they want to relive the glory. So they invited some historic old dudes to Franklin Field today to remember the good times.
It’s not as cool as other celebs gracing our turf, but hey. Fly, Eagles, fly, or whatever it is you do.
Football season might be over but that doesn’t mean we can’t ogle the tight ends strolling through Huntsman, right?
As part of the NFL Business Management and Entrepreneurial Program, NFL players are split between Wharton and The Harvard Business School to prepare for life after hanging up the pads. Thirty-seven past and current NFL players will be gracing us with their presence this week (Feb. 16-19), including James Farrior (Steelers), Trevor Laws (Eagles), and Brady Poppinga (Packers) to name a few.
It’s also worth pointing out that Drew Brees, this year’s Super Bowl MVP, attended the Wharton program around the same time he signed with the New Orleans Saints and is on record saying he hopes to pursue his MBA at Wharton. Coincidence? I think not.
While they do have to complete an application in order to attend the program, players are provided up to $15,000 in education expenses per league year as part of the NFL’s Tuition Reimbursement Program. Moral of the story? Don’t buy an education, kids. Become a football star and they give it to you for free!
Think any of them will be comparing past championship rings with the Penn players?
Remember when the football team won the Ivy League title? Though the basketball season may now capture our hearts and minds (and our sympathy), now there’s bling to remind us of the football victory. We bumped into some quarterback friends who showed us their new diamond-studded championship rings.
Times are tough these days. Breadlines are longer than ever and even though shantytowns are where all the rebels hang out, we’re really missing four walls and a roof. Damn. Anywho, this week Street attempts to brighten your day and show you the joys of this depressing life! Deal or New Deal?
