That’s what we like to see. There’s also another version.
With decisions coming back this week from the Ivies, tensions are running high, but not among whom we’d expect. Alums are feeling the stresses too. Turns out those interviews we worried over for days beforehand– painstakingly picking out “appropriate” outfits, wondering, “How will I know it’s them?” at the crowded Starbucks– meant as much to us as it did the kindly latte-laden alumni. Why?
Freshmen, why do you nail cookies to stuff? Find better things to do with the excesses of your meal plans, like swiping us in.
If you’re wondering where you can get your free food fix tonight and engage in some single mingle with the gentlemen of fraternity row, the following is a schedule of events for tonight and tomorrow. No need to thank us. No, seriously, don’t thank us–we sniped all this information off the IFC Facebook event.
Check it out after the jump, and don’t forget to memorize your Greek letters! (It’d be so embarrassing to confuse your ex’s with your chi’s…)
As we continue to wait with bated breath for the results of the freshman election campaigns for the Undergraduate Assembly, the candidates begin to reveal their super-awesome personalities. And what better way to do this (besides putting up posters) than to post videos on the internet? While all the clips are quite riveting, some are clearly better than the others. So without further ado, we present the creative geniuses and technologically-savvy wizards of the freshman class!
With freshman UA elections in full swing, and with so many candidates offering such an array of empty promises, deciding how to cast your ballot can be overwhelming. With that in mind, we’re continuing the hallowed UTB tradition of dissecting the most promising posters we’ve seen all over campus (arbitrary numerical ratings included). Based on these totals, you should be able to get a pretty good idea of how we think you should vote. Let’s go down the rabbit hole of student government and take a look at what the kids today are using for campaign material.
Remember all the fun you had during NSO? We don’t either. But the Division of Public Safety does! As the DP reports, there was a 37% increase of alcohol-related accidents during the booze-fueled weekend for a total of 37 cases (What are the chances?!). Fourteen of these involved freshmen women. Oh lawd.
Not surprisingly, there were several other incidents during orientation, including fifty complaints of loud music (“Tik Tok” is getting old. Seriously.), and seven instances of something called “student-related disturbances” (Belligerently drunken trips to Wawa, what?). Fortunately, there were no reported violent crimes.
For all the freshmeat out there, here is a quick and comprehensive guide to Penn’s lingo. All the cool kids use it (or at least some of it) and so will you, so consider this your homework for NSO. Study up and impress your friends with your new Penn-friendly vocabulary.
A-Gut – Otherwise known as Amy Gutmann, the president of our fine institution. She is often seen praising the university’s newest class at Convocation or fluffing her perfect coif.
Allegro – The pizza place where all the drunk people go. Its location (between the Quad and a bunch of frat houses) makes it the spot to feed your late-night craving, but beware: it closes at 2am.